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For those who are NC with siblings

(44 Posts)
FlowersAndShit Sun 03-Jan-16 11:22:35

Do you buy nieces/nephews birthday/Christmas gifts?

ThruUlikeAshortcut Sun 03-Jan-16 11:26:58


StrictlyMumDancing Sun 03-Jan-16 11:30:35

My sister doesn't have kids so I obviously don't. But sister doesn't buy for mine (except she bought for dds first birthday many years ago, tried to claim she was an awesome aunt and got shot down by my family who pointed out she didn't get her anything for xmas grin). She hasn't bothered since. I'm not fussed

GrinAndTonic Sun 03-Jan-16 11:34:42

I do. My sister doesn't have custody so I see them when I am down south.

twirlypoo Sun 03-Jan-16 11:38:12

I don't. I used to, but I didn't know what was being said when they arrived about me and I felt it was best to disappear completely. My brother gets a present for my son but I wish he didn't as it always feels a bit passive aggressive (aged 3 he bought him a brand new baby blanket thing)

My other brother I never see but my mum and therefore I help to look after them. The kids get each other presents (organised from the parents) so the card is signed from the kids with No adults involved.

Leelu6 Sun 03-Jan-16 11:38:58

No. It's not as if siblings will allow relationship with their DC only, so why give the siblings the satisfaction.

TiredButFineODFOJ Sun 03-Jan-16 11:39:59

No and it kills me, it really does.
Tried sending xmas cards and they were posted back.
Any attempt at contact results in hysterical abuse at other family members, and the odd threatening volley of text messages.
Child has been told I'm evil.
It's very sad. I still have presents in the cupboard for her from her birthday. I was thinking of sticking some cash in a bank account until she's 18.

MamaLazarou Sun 03-Jan-16 11:48:12

Yes, but I'm lucky in that I have a good relationship with my ex SIL and that she and my brother are separated.

BooOzMoo Sun 03-Jan-16 12:29:00

We were for SIL kids. She would send them back! Then we got a message with an Easter present saying fuck off and die but it was crossed through and that she would put presents in the bin.
We still sent them. I've nothing against her kids.... Just her and her DH are complete fucking wierdos!
This xmas MIL was told not to bring any presents ... I would usually post then but I thought fuck you!!!!
Opened the presents and gave them to my kids!!!
She's not sent anything got our kids but that's because she is such a knob !
An adults disagreement and it shouldn't include the kids!

Janeymoo50 Sun 03-Jan-16 12:31:06

I do for my niece and her family, but not my nephew who lives at home with my sister. She'll have poisoned him against me by now.

ItsANewDayToday Sun 03-Jan-16 12:40:35

one of my sister in laws is NC with just about everyone including me. I chat a bit to my brother if we happen to call in at our parents at the same time but I don't get to see his kids as his evil wife wouldn't permit it. I don't get them presents as I don't know them. It helps that all my DC were born first and were never given presents by them so I don't think there was any expectation that I would give their kids anything. It's a none issue for us.
My SIL is NC with my other siblings and her own siblings so I try not to take it personally. It's sad though.

Sianilaa Sun 03-Jan-16 13:32:21

No we don't. They would just get posted back. Plus it was our decision to go NC as they are hateful people, I strongly suspect their children will be brought up to behave the same way.

AliceInUnderpants Sun 03-Jan-16 13:35:53

Yes, and they give to my DC too. They (DB and SIL) went no contact with me, stating that I don't make enough effort with their DC. They made none with mine, and any effort I made was rebuffed. It kills me sad

Hoppinggreen Sun 03-Jan-16 13:42:21

I'm nc with my brother ( his decision but a relief) but SIL told hm from the start that he was being ridiculous and she wasn't getting involved.
I see her and the kids every few months, to be honest if that wasn't the case I might have tried to keep contact with my brother, even if he is an arsehole

mrtwitsglasseye Sun 03-Jan-16 13:46:13

Yes. My sister isn't a bad person but toxic family dynamics completely destroyed our relationship. She went nc with me. I haven't met her dc. She sends presents for my children and I have for hers. I wish our relationship could be fixed but it can't.

chipshop Sun 03-Jan-16 14:03:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mygrandchildrenrock Sun 03-Jan-16 14:12:37

No, I have 3 brothers (step, full and half) that I am NC with and have been for over 25 yrs. I wouldn't even know where they live to send presents.
The NC works both ways, none of my DC have ever received a present/card from any of their uncles.
My own immediate family are very close and I can't imagine any of them going NC with their siblings or parents.

cozietoesie Sun 03-Jan-16 14:17:11

Yes - although automatic presents stop at 18. (As for other nieces and nephews.)

ChubbyChubster Sun 03-Jan-16 14:19:27

No. Why would I? No contact means just that.

fatowl Sun 03-Jan-16 14:20:05

Dh is virtually NC with his sister (slight bit of strained contact now that MIL is so ill)
We send his DNieces a small gift at Xmas and Birthdays.
Our DC never get anything
It doesn't bother us, it's been like that for so long

ProcrastinatorGeneral Sun 03-Jan-16 14:40:04

I have no idea if my brother has any children, so no. To be fair, even if he did I wouldn't bother as he's a cockwomble and I wouldn't want even a tiny amount of contact with him.

cleaty Sun 03-Jan-16 14:40:09

Not consciously NC, but we haven't spoken in years. Yes I do, but stop when they reach 18.

Birdsgottafly Sun 03-Jan-16 14:44:50

My adult children are NC with a half sibling and we've all had to include the children.

It just became a way for the Parent to score points and be nasty, so we'll have to wait until the child is of an age were they can have contact independently.

RubbleBubble00 Sun 03-Jan-16 14:49:48

dh is nc with his sister. I however see her when she comes to mil (lives abroad) and we chat - more so since she has recently had dc. I send her presents for her dc but it's more for mil sake as it cuts her that they can't get on. Dh is a pain, sil will be amicable but do can't even face being in same room

chinam Sun 03-Jan-16 14:51:21

Yes, it's nothing to do with the children. Why would I exclude them.

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