DP confused me for ex's twice in two days

[LemmysMole]

Am I being too sensitive here??
yesterday Dp and I took a drive to the seaside. I says upon arriving "oh remember when we saw that band here and stayed in the B&B?" - turns out that wasn't me
Tonight we were listening to a band and he says "remember, we saw them live!". I said "when??" - turns out that wasn't me either.

I'm feeling paranoid and sensitive as it is lately, I just get a hunch that his feelings towards me are not what they were. AIBU to be upset by the references to ex's twice in as many days?

[FarrowAndBallache]

Oh that's a bit horrible for you.

How long ago was he with his ex?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

DH couldn't remember if something was his DF or me this morning. Probably doesn't mean anything.

[LemmysMole]

Over 5 years ago. I don't know what it is but just recently I've been getting the impression that he misses her. I don't why why as he never mentions her or anything - it's just a hunch ive been getting and all this is confirming it. I was hoping I was being paranoid.

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

I suppose you could look at this from the angle that he's happy with you, has forgotten about the details of previous relationships and sees your lives as involved to the point that he forgets he's experienced things with other people? I wouldn't take it personally tbh-my husband often brings up family parties that went on years and years before we got together and I have to remind him I wasn't there.

[LemmysMole]

We're getting married in May and I'm starting to wonder if that will even happen. He went mad at me a few days ago as I mentioned the wedding and he ranted that he was sick of hearing about it

[mrschatty]

I like champagne reasoning!!!

It's awquward when you first get with someone and call them by your ex name... yes I wanted the ground to swallow me up... I think he believes all his happy fun memories must have been with you. That's sweet

[mrschatty]

Oh lemmy just seen your update I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe ask him for some time ti talk. The wedding thing may be unrelated and nerves

[LemmysMole]

We've been together 4 years, it's not a new relationship

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

Men hate wedding planning. The rows we had over ours were phenomenal. In fact I vaguely recall him saying something about being sick of hearing about it too! Try not to stress op xxx

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

Correction *some men hate wedding planning.
My BIL was groomzilla.

[LemmysMole]

I hear what you're saying but snapping at me over the wedding (uncharacteristic) and then banging on about times he's had with his ex?

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

Was it just the 2 occasions he brought his ex's up? Why don't you ask him what's going on? have you spent a lot more time together recently and have you been talking about the wedding more than usual?

[Fluffycloudland77]

Dh does this sometimes and we've been together for 10 years.

[Pidapie]

I think you might be putting too much meaning into it, but sounds like a chat is in order about snapping!

[PrincessMouse]

DH and I have been together 7 years this year. I do this sometimes and his done it to me. More me than him though. I geniunly say things (holidays, places I went) thinking it was with him but it was my ex.

It's not that I am thinking about my ex. I never ever do. I just remember stuff and assume it was DH probably because we have been together so long. It feels like we have always been together. Sad I know.

I wouldn't worry about him snapping regards the wedding. My friend got married end of May last year and they bickered a lot the few months leading up to the wedding. I think it was stress. Mainly to do with the fact he was so laid back about everything and she is very organised and dots all i(s) and crosses all t(s). They wound each other up.

Have you thought about mentioning how you are feeling to him?

[BastardGoDarkly]

Oh god, i do this to dh! Oh! Remember when we went... Nope! That was someone else!

We've been together 15 years!

They means nothing op.

[PrincessMouse]

Bastard thank god it's not just me. You have 8 years on me.

[LightDrizzle]

I know it's grim but it may not mean anything. It's the sort of thing I might do I'm afraid, and I'm certainly not hankering after my ex. I've also called him my ex's name before! I'm lucky he's fairly bomb-proof.

It may help that I regularly run through the various names, including the dog's before arriving at the correct one for my own DCs.

[CharleyFarleyy]

The thought of the wedding is probably what's making him think about his ex.

Sounds bad but I think it's probably quite normal

[hefzi]

My mum did this the other week: my parents have been married nearly 50 years. It doesn't mean anything other than forgetfulness - if he was that into his ex a) he would still be with her, and b) he'd damn well know it was her and not you. I like champagne's explanation too

Depending on how involved he's being with the wedding planning and how precise you are being on arrangements, it might be all a bit much: my SIL and her sister were the Bridezilla twins, and the wedding was moved forward unexpectedly (long story) so it was only 5 months after their engagement (not 18) - my brother was muttering "a wedding is just a day; a marriage is for life" after about the first three weeks of planning! It's not that he didn't want to marry her - he absolutely did, but he recognised that the marriage was more important than the colour scheme for one day. Your DP might be feeling the same - especially if the planning's been going on for longer (not saying you're Bridezilla, btw, but generally, women seem to have more ideas about the wedding than the men): hence snapping at you.

I don't think either means anything as such.

[CandOdad]

My mum was signing her name the other day. Her old married name from twenty years back.

Doesn't mean anything except a lapse of memory.

[MrsJorahMormont]

DH and I do this from time to time. When he does it I usually snigger and wind him up about it. It's easily done if you're thinking about one off events or daytrips.

Try and keep this separate to any other jitters you might be having but a general talk might not do any harm.

[Daisydukes79]

He can remember the event/ trip but not who he was with. That says to me that she is unimportant to him.
Re the wedding thing, I know me and oh got a bit snappy with each other at times in the run up. Didn't mean we didn't want to be married, just stressed and it is a lot of pressure based on that one day.

[ohtheholidays]

Your DP isn't as bad as me OP.A couple of weeks ago our youngest DD8 woke up in the night(she's disabled and so am I know so DH has to see to her in the night)me waking DH up "Mum DD is awake" I haven't lived at home for nearly 20 years and we lost my Mum 20 months ago.

I've also managed to call him by 2 exs names in the past when I'm tired.For me it in noway means I would ever want to be with either of the exs ever again.

I hope it's the same for you and it's just a brain blip,like I'm seem to be constantly having.