So, I recently got engaged 
MIL to be is really happy & excited, 5 minutes after telling her she'd posted it all over facebook saying congratulations etc. I was planning to wait a little bit before announcing it on fb, especially as I hadn't told any of my family yet but since she'd put a post up I thought I may as well. So I posted a picture of my ring and so on. Told my family over the phone.
My parents weren't overly happy or unhappy just rather blank about the whole thing. No congratulations or similar, just concern from DM*
*Background - a few years ago I got out of a bad relationship with exH who was emotionally and physically abusive amongst other things.
Now, I understand that in the past I haven't made great relationship decisions but DP is the polar opposite of exH and we have been together almost three years so I feel fairly confident that I'm not going to repeat my mistakes.
Aibu to be upset that not a single member of my family has said congratulations or anything similar, not even a 'like' on my status or picture? I know fb isn't important in the whole scheme of things and if they had spoken to me about it off fb I wouldn't be so bothered but I've just had no reaction from any of them.
My closest female friends are both going through relationship issues at the moment so I'm not expecting them to be dancing on the rooftops about my news but they have reacted similarly.
I've had loads of 'likes' on fb from random acquaintances but no one that I actually love or care about seems to give a damn 
AIBU?
to be upset about this reaction or lack thereof?
Ciabattavonbreadsticks · 02/01/2016 16:51
I spoke to them on the phone before I put the post up (sorry, the way I wrote it probably did make it sound the other way around). No, they didn't say congratulations.
Dsis was not there when I phoned as she was at a NYE party but I sent her a message and the only response I got was a 'congrats'. I am very close to my sister, she is my best friend and we are a very expressive family. This was her equivalent of a flat, monotone response. She would have put x's or !'s or some sort of emoji type thing if she was genuinely happy
Thank you tomato. I just feel so sad at the moment, not at all like I wanted to feel.
Perhaps they just don't like your boyfriend very much - is there any reason that they might be concerned about the relationship? You say you made a bad choice in your last relationship, maybe they are genuinely worried for you?
I also don't think people in general are as 'interested' in engagements as used to be traditional, I haven't really heard of anyone getting engaged for years.
But anyway, congratulations 
.
After 36 years of marriage I think I have proved my long-dead DM wrong when she said that DW-to-be was not the one for me. You're the one that's engaged 
so just think what goes with Gomorrah.
I don't think they dislike him especially fairy I just think they don't really know him. We all live a bit spread out across the country so I know they can't exactly be overjoyed when they don't know him. Still, they must know that DP is miles apart from exH, who they hated in retrospect, with good reason!
I know they are genuinely worried for me but they really need not be, ExH was a lazy, abusive drug addict who refused to work and spent all my hard earned money on himself, then disappeared without a trace and did not make any effort to see or support his children.
Dp does not drink or smoke and works very hard, he is an absolute rock of emotional support for me and I could not have gotten through the last three years without him
OP I know how it feels, nobody seemed to give a shiny shit when DH and I got engaged.
I put it down to the fact I'd been married before, and 'second time around' events never seem to gather quite as much excitement from family though this might just be my lot
When pg with DC1, everyone was massively surprised and excited, with DC2 not quite as much, and with DC3 I got a "What, again?" before a Congratulations! 
Maybe they just think, since you've already been engaged and married before, that it isn't such a big thing?
Did they congratulate you when you and XH were engaged?
My parents were a bit the same when dh and I got engaged. I don't believe it was intended to be hurtful as my mum had similar concerns I guess to yours.
We got married about 18 months later and we bumped into one of ds friends and his parents at a Christmas event last month and I introduced dh and my mum was 'her husband...her new husband' I honestly thought I'd have to restrain her. she was practically jumping up and down.
What I'm saying is that looking back I know my mum didn't intend to hurt me in her initial reaction she just didn't engage her brain when I told her.
Once wedding planning started she got right on board and enjoyed every minute of it. She is genuinely happy that I'm happy but I have made mistakes in the past and have had one pretty horrible relationship that resulted in two of my children.
If you feel your family genuinely like your Dp then they possibly reacted first out of concern and may be kicking themselves now. But I hope once the planning starts they all react more like mine did.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Things are normally great with me and my family, we use fb quite a lot due to living in different areas of the country but generally we are very close.
They sort of grudgingly congratulated me last time but I can see now that there were a lot of red flags with exh that I was just too stupid to see. I was very young and inexperienced with relationships at the time. Now I have the benefit of 10 years experience I'm not going to make the same mistakes again
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.