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to think rudeness in children isn't cute

(95 Posts)
mommy2ash Fri 01-Jan-16 19:55:33

My family seem to find it hilarious that a young relative has developed what they call a sassy attitude. Said child is almost three and today was the first time I have witnessed this myself. She will put her hand up and say that's enough I'm not listening to you any more, shut up, don't talk to me anymore roll her eyes when you are speaking to her etc. she isn't even 3 yet. I found it very hard to watch especially as everyone was laughing and egging her on. What happens when she is too old for this to be cute anymore and the poor child doesn't know any better. I babysit for this relative quite often and feel like I will have to start declining if I am to be expected to be spoken to like that by a toddler.

FattyFishwife Fri 01-Jan-16 20:11:49

yanbu at all. I cannot abide rudeness and disrespect in children of any age....what sort of a lesson are they teaching her, that its funny to talk to adults in that way.....sure it can be funny, hearing grown up phrases and attitude coming out of a toddlers mouth, but you have to counteract that with the fact that its not acceptable to go through life talking to grown ups/your elders that way.

Vixxfacee Fri 01-Jan-16 20:16:09

Yanbu my friends 1 year old was shouting bitch when she was on the phone to me and she was giggling.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Fri 01-Jan-16 20:17:52

Meh, up to them. Their child. They can deal with the fall out.

You can say 'no, thank you' to any more babysitting, though.

MistyMeena Fri 01-Jan-16 20:23:35

Urgh, YANBU. But a child doesn't just develop that sort of attitude. She must be copying from someone in her household?

WitchWay Fri 01-Jan-16 20:25:38

My DH says, "That's enough, I'm not listening to you anymore - this conversation is over." It certainly isn't cute. I'm planning to leave him.

She needs "ignoring" - keeping an eye on her while not doing what she says.

inlovewithhubby Fri 01-Jan-16 20:30:31

I hate this sort of behaviour, it's hideous. Poor child, it's not her fault, her parents are doing her a massive disservice. She'll get absolutely bollocked at nursery/pre-school/school when she behaves completely normally (for her) and other kids won't want to play with her if she's a brat who has to have her own way.

So YADNBU and when in your care i'd make it very clear the boundaries that you expect. Kids are clever, they can and do adapt for different care givers.

BathshebaDarkstone Fri 01-Jan-16 20:32:58

YANBU. I've been told to fuck off in the street by a boy who looked about 2.5 before! shock

goddessofsmallthings Fri 01-Jan-16 20:33:10

Rudeness isn't cute at any age and your family are doing this little girl no favours whatosoever in finding unacceptable behaviour she has learned from adults amusing.

In any event, when you next babysit you'll be able to set the child straight and I wonder how long it will take her to link your silence with her having told you to shut up and not talk to her any more. smile

CakeFail Fri 01-Jan-16 20:37:51

Yanbu. Poor child, her parents should know better and are storing up problems IMHO.

Havingafieldday Fri 01-Jan-16 20:43:33

It's not cute at all. I have a 5 year old who is going through a rude phase. He's currently crying in his bed as we've stopped him having a sleepover in his sisters room as punishment for rudeness earlier this evening

RideEmCowgirl Fri 01-Jan-16 20:44:36

Witchway - Planning on leaving who? Did not understand your post.

RiverTam Fri 01-Jan-16 20:53:25

Well, both child and parents are in for a shock when she starts school. Can't see any teachers or parents at DD's school finding this funny for long, she'll be in trouble at school and find play dates drying up if they don't put a lid on this.

Cotto Fri 01-Jan-16 20:54:47

Those who think answering back/sassy hmm children are funny will get it back in spades when they are 10 plus.
You reap what you sow!

Pollyputhtekettleon Fri 01-Jan-16 20:55:00

Misty, we have an almost 3yr old who has developed a crazy sassy attitude on her own. It's remarkable. She had a scowl and a glare and a raised eyebrow before she could speak. The look on her face when she threw her food on the ground wasn't defiant, testing boundaries. It was pure 'screw you' attitude. I an assure you her character and attitude is all her own. Her twin is a gentle darling.

Cotto Fri 01-Jan-16 20:56:28

My DBIL and SIL who do the <eyeroll> <Ignore> <laugh> school of parenting are getting it in spades atm.
Boo hoo grin

ElfOnTheBoozeShelf Fri 01-Jan-16 20:58:06

Kids hear those phrases from someone, and will speak back the way they're spoken to. Horrible to hear them speak like that; worse to know they've been spoken to that way.

Certainly don't agree to any more babysitting though.

Corygal Fri 01-Jan-16 21:00:09

It's grim, not least when you hit your 40s and watch younger staff at work being sidelined/binned because of their manners and attitude.

Two women I know - in their 20s - had to be kept away from clients as they were so blunt and demanding. They were bright enough, but they won't ever get anywhere in their careers unless they change industries (lighthouse-keeping might work). Might I add these ladies were both educated at extremely expensive boarding schools, while the people who did get on had battled crap comps in Hackney. The problem is created by parents.

rhetorician Fri 01-Jan-16 21:01:34

no, it's not cute, but with some kids it's pretty hard to eliminate - my DD does this kind of thing a good deal at home, despite lots of very hard work to call her out on it. She would never do it at someone else's house though or say it to another adult. I'm just making the point that not all children absorb social rules, even with an awful lot of reinforcement (not that is the issue in the case you describe though).

mommy2ash Fri 01-Jan-16 21:04:51

I'm really hoping it's a phase and it passes quickly. I'm very close with this little girl and it pained me to watch her act up like that. She is usually such a sweet little girl

peppielillyan Fri 01-Jan-16 21:05:18

My first cared child was that. She was 2 yrs 3 months and we were discussing (her parents and myself) abt Ofsted, vouchers, etc and she shouted (for first time in my presence): Hey, stop! Stop talking! Listen to me now, STOOOOOOP talking ! Now i am talking.
I thought that maybe i got a wrong impression, but this type of behaviour kept going and going and going.....
Sadly when i brought the issue to the parents, i was the immature one, making their daughter less valued and pushing down her confidence.....

UkmmTheSecond Fri 01-Jan-16 21:05:18

Witchway - Planning on leaving who? Did not understand your post.

I read is as she's planning on leaving her husband, because he speaks to her the same rude way as some of the children mentioned on thread.

rhetorician Fri 01-Jan-16 21:06:30

"shut up" and "stupid" are banned words in our house, but "I'm not listening" seems relatively innocent - I would say this to my children when they are going on and on about something that they have been told they can't have and I don't think it's necessarily a negative phrase.

<dons hat>

peacefuleasyfeeling Fri 01-Jan-16 21:08:32

Ride, Witch is planning to leave her similarly ill-mannered husband.

BathshebaDarkstone Fri 01-Jan-16 21:08:54

Cowgirl her DH. hmm

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