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To have been hoping for a thankyou

(56 Posts)
soyvanillalatte Fri 01-Jan-16 10:19:15

I know this one is a bit pathetic but I just have to get it off my chest in order to move on.
I spent quite a few weeks looking for some nice gifts to pop in a full gift bag that I gave DSS girlfriend for Christmas. I have no girls and really enjoyed buying things for a female for a change and was excited to see if she liked the gifts I bought.
DSS came over on Christmas day but she was still at work so he took her gift bag with him to pass on.
I have had no contact at all from her about the gift. I was hoping for at least a thankyou?
AIBU for being disappointed? Expecting too much? (she is 20).

Donnadoon Fri 01-Jan-16 10:22:44

Ring him when you know she will defiantly be with him and ask if she liked them. Rude on her part but may also be shy and uncomfortable ringing you.

SquinkiesRule Fri 01-Jan-16 10:24:16

You're not ecpecting too much, We sent a gift for Ds's new Gf and she sent a thank you card back with Ds two days later.

soyvanillalatte Fri 01-Jan-16 10:24:34

Will do Donnadoon. smile

soyvanillalatte Fri 01-Jan-16 10:25:02

Maybe she hated the gifts..

AnchorDownDeepBreath Fri 01-Jan-16 10:25:04

Well.. It's not unreasonable to want to be thanked, especially as this is more significant to you than perhaps it otherwise would be, but I'd imagine most people who have been off since before Christmas have found that time shot away from them and they haven't got round to thanking people yet, let alone people who have worked through the festive period!

If it's really a keenness to know if she liked them, you could ask DSS, but do it carefully or you risk looking like you're prodding for a thank you.

It does only take seconds, and yes everyone should do it, but I think it just becomes one of those things that everyone says "Oh I really must send a thank you for those gifts" and probably just hasn't actually got round to yet.

Donnadoon Fri 01-Jan-16 10:26:43

Ps I did the same for ds s GF and they rang me together Xmas night , I spoke to them both on the phone and we wished each other .merry Xmas and they thanked me for gifts. Perhaps they having problems and she feels awkward.

Iwonderwhy123 Fri 01-Jan-16 10:34:49

I think it's rude. If she's too shy to ring you a quick text would have done. YANBU

experiencedpresenthider Fri 01-Jan-16 10:44:59

Is it possible she asked DSS to pass on her thanks and he's forgotten? If your contact is normally through him she may have thought this was the best way to do it.
BTW it sounds like a lovely thoughtful gift and I'm sure she appreciated it.

thewookieswife Fri 01-Jan-16 10:45:33

She might not be used to gifts - I know I wasn't and when my, then BF's, mum gave me presents I thought it was weird - as I hardly knew her !
She's now my MIL and to some degree I feel she can still be a bit overbearing and I still think it's weird - but my mum wasn't much of a mum - But I did still say thanks though !

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt Fri 01-Jan-16 10:47:13

YANBU at all.

I bought my FIL a Christmas present when my dh and I first started going out (got together January so had known my FIL almost a year) and never received thanks / any acknowledgement for it. I was hurt by this and still remember it 10 years later. But then again my FIL is v self involved, rude man.

soyvanillalatte Fri 01-Jan-16 10:47:29

I know she had gifts from DSS Mum and also his Nan (my MIL). I might see if they experienced the same.

Pheobe1 Fri 01-Jan-16 10:48:57

No you are not BU it's very rude. I have 3 adult nieces and I sent them and their dc presents but I haven't heard a word from them. It doesn't have to be formal just a quick text or fb message would do.

soyvanillalatte Fri 01-Jan-16 10:49:12

Actually, on second thoughts, I wont. That would be stirring. I will just see if they say something rather than bringing it up!

xmasseason Fri 01-Jan-16 10:49:31

It's only a week since Christmas. Give her some more time.

Fratelli Fri 01-Jan-16 10:55:16

I hope people don't think I'm rude! If I didn't see them in person I only sent a quick text as our thank you cards haven't arrived yet!

AnnaMarlowe Fri 01-Jan-16 10:55:51

You have a month to send thank you letters.

Please don't chase for a thank you it's ungracious. I always write thank you letters for all our gifts (and the whole family know this) but my DH's family are known for 'chasing' a thank you after two days or so and I think it's very rude - it takes away from the gift IMO.

If you enjoyed buying girlie gifts that's super. But you shouldn't give in order to be thanked.

Although of course you should receive a thank you note.

I won't sitting down to write mine/help the children with theirs until this weekend.

Caprinihahahaha Fri 01-Jan-16 10:57:24

Several years ago I got my sons DD a beautiful clutch bag. Apparently it made her feel really awkward.

soyvanillalatte Fri 01-Jan-16 10:57:52

TBH I never expected a note. Just a message through DSS that she liked them would be nice. I suppose its not a "thank you" but rather knowing someone enjoyed the gift. I will be more patient.

Penfold007 Fri 01-Jan-16 11:00:55

Are you sure he said they were from you? She may think it was a gift from him

Ditsy4 Fri 01-Jan-16 11:01:28

Did he remember to give it to her? I agree a bit more time I haven't started writing my thank you letters yet but I have been ill. I usually start tomorrow and have a session. I write them to the children at school so they don't have to be ready till the 5th. Most others I see at the time. So thank them then. If you have no word after a week I would ask if he remembered to give it to her and then did she like it might prompt.
I didn't receive any acknowledgement from my niece for her five children's presents two years running...I've stopped sending them. Feel sorry for the children but it cost a lot in time, money and postage even my sister didn't say anything. Niece sister always sends a thank you even if text.

AnnaMarlowe Fri 01-Jan-16 11:02:08

In that case soy wait until all the festivities have passed and very casually ask DSS next time you see him if his gf liked them.

Quiero Fri 01-Jan-16 11:03:06

Maybe she said to DSS, please thank soy for me (and he forgot) and she intends to thank you in person when she sees you.

Otherwise, no, it isn't unreasonable to expect a thank you. I'm sure it is an oversight though.

soyvanillalatte Fri 01-Jan-16 11:03:34

That's what I will do AnnaMarlowe

GabiSolis Fri 01-Jan-16 11:04:08

She may be waiting until the next time she sees you to say thank you. That's probably what I would do tbh. Although I quite agree if she doesn't say thank you at all then she is absolutely being rude.

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