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help me get rid of visitor

(49 Posts)
ncforthe1000thtime Thu 31-Dec-15 23:07:23

popped in for glass of wine 7 hours ago, no sign of leaving, despite having wife and poorly child waiting for him at home. Want him to leave now, any tips?

RNBrie Thu 31-Dec-15 23:09:28

Go to bed?

memyselfandaye Thu 31-Dec-15 23:10:10

Tell him hes a selfish arse for leaving his wife to care for his sick child for 7 hours while he goes out socialising.

janethegirl2 Thu 31-Dec-15 23:10:23

Text a mate who needs you to go pick him up

TowerRavenSeven Thu 31-Dec-15 23:11:15

Tell him you don't feel well and you hate to cut it short (!!) but you need to lie down (alone!)

GingerIvy Thu 31-Dec-15 23:11:27

Tell him to go home. Sometimes blunt is the best way to go.

pinkyredrose Thu 31-Dec-15 23:11:50

Tell him in a cheery voice that it's time to fuck off home now, you need to wax your armpits, or something.

FlatOnTheHill Thu 31-Dec-15 23:12:39

Tell him you have headache and need to go to bed.

LadyB49 Thu 31-Dec-15 23:12:56

Tell him it's time to go home to his wife!

JarethTheGoblinKing Thu 31-Dec-15 23:14:27

"we're off to bed in a minute, not bothered about NYE. can you head home?"

Diggum Thu 31-Dec-15 23:14:57

Nip upstairs and change into pyjamas and fluffy slippers. Return down yawning and winding an alarm clock (or miming that action, as who the bloody hell has a wind-up alarm clock these days?).

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard Thu 31-Dec-15 23:15:10

Call him a taxi and persuade him he ordered it.
Would work so long as he doesn't live in your street.

YouTheCat Thu 31-Dec-15 23:16:00

Be very direct because no normal person would outstay their welcome this spectacularly.

Tell him to fuck off.

I once had a neighbour turn up at 10pm on NYE (my only night off work) who turned the tv on to a fucking western and drank all my whisky.

BathshebaDarkstone Thu 31-Dec-15 23:16:38

Explain that you have norovirus.

Mmmmcake123 Thu 31-Dec-15 23:18:42

Bathsheba pipped me to it. Splash water on your face and tell him you've just bee really sick

pinkyredrose Thu 31-Dec-15 23:19:05

Just tell him it's time to go otherwise his wife might think you're having an affair.

MrsBobDylan Thu 31-Dec-15 23:28:27

What the fuck? 7 hours? Just thinking about it is bring on a cold sweat.

Tell him to go home. Don't smile as you say it, don't give a reason. Just guide him to the door and lock it once he's firmly on the other side.

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf Thu 31-Dec-15 23:31:12

What am I missing? Just tell him to leave? I'm befuddled as to why you didn't tell him to go 4 or 5 hours ago? confused

StillStayingClassySanDiego Thu 31-Dec-15 23:31:39

Is he still there?

Arfarfanarf Thu 31-Dec-15 23:32:31

Tell him that he has to leave now.
Stand up.
Say well its been nice to see you but its time for us to settle down now. Happy new year. Say hi to x for us. I'll get you your coat.
Then remain standing.
If he tries to say anything say thats nice but no, its time to head off. I'll see you out.

You have to be firm.

Or you could say ffs X do you not have a home to go to? Will you please bugger off now. Its been 7 hours!!

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 31-Dec-15 23:32:46

I had a guest like this once. He ignored me getting changed and ready for bed, and then ignored me getting into bed - originally carried on talking to me through the closed door, then opened the bedroom door and stood in the doorway talking.

He text me the next day to day he'd left after I'd fallen asleep but had taken some peanuts from the cupboard because he was hungry and he hoped that was okay

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight Thu 31-Dec-15 23:34:23

Go to bed.

Mutter something about him being welcome to sleep on the sofa if he likes. Produce a mangy old cushion/blanket, sniff it and mutter some vague apology about the damn cat.

Offer him a Horlicks.

MooseTrap Thu 31-Dec-15 23:35:46

This could never happen with me. I'm not rude but I'd ave asked him to leave ages ago.

'I'm sorry but I've got to do something so I'm going to have to ask you to leave now' stand up, collect the glasses and motion him towards the door, if they mess around I just get firmer and more direct. I'm polite and I smile but it doesn't bother me if its a wee bit embarrassing fo them.

UnGoogleable Thu 31-Dec-15 23:43:00

He's clearly hoping to see the New Year in with you OP.....

Unless you've got rid of him by now?

fuctifino Thu 31-Dec-15 23:46:45

Tell him you need to pop to your neighbour/mum's house and go through the motions of getting ready to go.

Is there a neighbour you can seek refuge with for a bit whilst he goes?

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