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Aibu to not let my ( just turned ) 16 yr old ds stay at a friends house tonight?

(133 Posts)
SurferJet Thu 31-Dec-15 17:17:16

It's New Year's Eve, I don't know the friends family ( it's a school friend ) plus there's no way of knowing if he really is staying at a friends.
It's pouring with rain & I just think he's too young.
I have let him stay at friends houses before ( not often ) but I just don't want him out on New Year's Eve.
He's in the living room sulking fsad

watchingthedetectives Thu 31-Dec-15 17:19:52

Yes YABU- why don't you just ask him for the friend's parents number and check it is OK with everyone - that way there is less likely to be any funny business and he will have to actually do what he says he is doing

Me624 Thu 31-Dec-15 17:20:29

He's 16. Of course YABU.

FourFlapjacksPlease Thu 31-Dec-15 17:21:16

yep, yabu. I think at 16 you should be able to expect a social life with your friends. I wouldn't have wanted to stay in with my parents on NYE at 16.

Narp Thu 31-Dec-15 17:21:24

I agree with watching. If you can satisfy yourself about what the plan is, then he should be allowed to go

SewButtons Thu 31-Dec-15 17:21:54

Hmm, I would probably let him go, I always spent new years at a friend's when I was a teenager.
Perhaps suggest that you might feel more comfortable with it if you could speak to friends parents? Then you could confirm that they will be in all night. Shouldnt be a problem if he is actually intending to just stay at a friend's and if he does kick up a fuss then you have more reason to not let him go.

PUGaLUGS Thu 31-Dec-15 17:22:00


And yes my 16 year old is sleeping out tonight.

lighteningirl Thu 31-Dec-15 17:23:12

I would check that the parents are there but he is too old to be kept in when it's raining

Bunbaker Thu 31-Dec-15 17:23:17

YABU. One of DD's friends is here but has to go home at 7.30 because his parents can't bear to see the new year in without him. At 16 these youngsters want to be with their friends not their parents.

CwtchMeQuick Thu 31-Dec-15 17:23:27

He's 16, he should be out with friends!

Bunbaker Thu 31-Dec-15 17:24:05

And DD is going to a party tomorrow night and sleeping over. There will be a mix of 15 and 16 year olds.

secondhoneymoon Thu 31-Dec-15 17:24:48

I can understand your wanting to know where he's going and who he'll be with - but he's 16, you have to let them go some time. Maybe set some ground rules like he texts you every hour ?

BanningTheWordNaice Thu 31-Dec-15 17:25:35

WTF. Yes YABU lol.

WorraLiberty Thu 31-Dec-15 17:25:39

You could ask for the parent's number and tell him you want to ring and check it's ok, out of politeness.

Heyheyheygoodbye Thu 31-Dec-15 17:25:54

YABU. He's 16. Unless the family live outside I can't see that rain is an issue.

MaisieDotes Thu 31-Dec-15 17:26:58

there's no way of knowing if he really is staying at a friends

There is- phone the other parents. Tell your DS if he wants to go that he must get the parents' number.

DD (14) has a friend coming for a sleepover tonight. I'll be here to keep an eye on them. I don't really see the issue.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 31-Dec-15 17:28:26

YABU, to forbid it because you don't know any details, but then not even attempt to find out from the friend's parents what's what. Get a contact number for them.

Savagebeauty Thu 31-Dec-15 17:29:54

My 16 yr old DS is staying over tonight at a friends.
What's the big deal with not wanting him out on NYE???

Windingstreamswithoutends Thu 31-Dec-15 17:30:03

If they have a roof in their house to protect him from the rain then YABU.

Actually, WTF - you have a 16 year old you don't want to let see his friends on NYE because he's too young and it's raining!!!

Carry on this way and you'll be lucky if he's still living at home by his 17th birthday. Overly restrictive parenting is the quickest way to a rebellious child

ladygracie Thu 31-Dec-15 17:30:46

Sorry but YABU. My dd (15) is staying at a friends tonight. I have never met the friend & don't have her address (just street name). That's fine with me. What would make you feel okay with him staying?

Scarydinosaurs Thu 31-Dec-15 17:31:32


What does rain have to do with anything??

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Thu 31-Dec-15 17:31:40

Ynbu to worry about him and have your reservations especially as you don't know his friends parents. 6 or 16, he's still your child . Too many people in here have their little child blinkers on. Back in the olden days granted but if my mum wasn't able to get the word of the parents I wasn't allowed to stay out. End of story.
If he can give you his word that he'll text/call throughout the night. I'd let him go .

WorraLiberty Thu 31-Dec-15 17:32:29

I did wonder also about the relevance of rain blush

IvyWall Thu 31-Dec-15 17:34:51


FlatOnTheHill Thu 31-Dec-15 17:35:04

Fully understand your worry but he is 16. Get the phone number and call the mates parents. Check it all out.

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