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To have posted this reply to colleague

(75 Posts)
loopsylala Wed 30-Dec-15 09:20:54

My colleague is on facebook posting about how lucky 'some' people are to have their DPs "doing all the childcare, housework, shopping" for them while some other people (ie her) have had to move away from home and have no one to help them (she's a single mum too)

Due to health problems, which she knows about but I won't go into for fear of outing myself, I have a lot of help with my child and around the house. Been in and out of hospital too.

Was I unreasonable to reply that she's actually lucky NOT to need any help?

Think the first day back at work might be awkward now...

Jackie0 Wed 30-Dec-15 09:22:42

Woe is me fb updates are always asking for trouble wink

ammature Wed 30-Dec-15 09:23:12

If she's a single mum I'm sure she does need help with running the house, childcare etc.

TheHouseOnTheLane Wed 30-Dec-15 09:23:42


Take the high road and ignore.

Arfarfanarf Wed 30-Dec-15 09:23:56

Did you think that her post was a dig at you?

BatsUpMyNightie Wed 30-Dec-15 09:24:34

Do you think she's aiming her comments at you then? I'd just leave it tbh - it's how she feels. You feel how you feel. Everything doesn't need a response - especially on FB.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark Wed 30-Dec-15 09:28:17


RiverTam Wed 30-Dec-15 09:28:41

Thst was pretty bitchy if you, tbh. I very much doubt she had anyone in particular in mind, she was having a moan. And how do you know she doesn't need any help? She may not need the same help as you but I can imagine being a single working mum isn't a walk in the park.

You've responded as though she were having a personal dig- was she? She was probably just down in the dumps about her own situation. I think you responded quite touchily, guess you are down in the dumps too? It's not a competition though.

loopsylala Wed 30-Dec-15 09:29:10

Its not the first time she's said something. So yes I think she's aiming this at me.

madmother1 Wed 30-Dec-15 09:29:56

Oh dear.......I stupidly broke my rule of not having work colleagues on my fb and now I bearly look at it. I've taken fb off my phone too. It really changed my view of people. I believe your private life and work should be separate. Just learn from it and maybe take all your work mates off of your friends list. I now can ask the question, "what did you do at the weekend," instead of thinking. ...Oh, I've seen it on fb, so I won't ask! At the end of the day, you were expressing your view if she mentions it!

Enjolrass Wed 30-Dec-15 09:33:38


Just because you have no one to help , doesn't mean you don't need help.

I get that her post annoyed you and you feel it was directed at you. But she isn't lucky to not need help. She just doesn't have it. So your post means nothing.

I don't need help. I have dh and we are both in good health. I have aspergers but don't need help from outside our household. I am like lucky, that so far, nothing has meant I need outside help.

HortonWho Wed 30-Dec-15 09:41:02

If you moaned about your health issues, would you be happy with someone replying at least you're not terminally ill?

antimatter Wed 30-Dec-15 09:45:31

why are you getting drawn in into public exchange of views about your health

leave it, remove her from your FB - wouldn't that be better for everyone?

insancerre Wed 30-Dec-15 09:45:47

I would have posted that its not 'luck' that some people have a partner and some don't
Not if she was a widow, obviously
Actually, I lie. I would have typed it but then deleted it

iloveeverykindofcat Wed 30-Dec-15 09:46:32

I understand it's upsetting to feel that people are having a go, but honestly I think with this social media stuff the best thing to do is ignore. It can all escalate too quickly, whether or not she intended it as a dig. Don't engage.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 30-Dec-15 09:48:25

Ignore from now on, there's no point getting into a tit for tat exchange.

If the atmosphere is frosty you'll have to work through it.

Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning Wed 30-Dec-15 09:49:17

Ywbu. She didn't aim it at you did she?

saoirse31 Wed 30-Dec-15 09:49:28

Yabu and have made yourself look a bit silly and uncaring too I think.

Sallyingforth Wed 30-Dec-15 09:49:54

YABU to take anything seriously on FB.
Ignore it and move on.

ClashCityRocker Wed 30-Dec-15 09:50:48

I also think YAB a little u.

She's clearly feeling stressed and is entitled to have a rant, although fb is not the medium I would have chosen. It sounds like you're just playing at competitive misery, to be honest.

And, of course, maybe she actually does need help and is struggling.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn Wed 30-Dec-15 09:52:49


Just because you have no one to help , doesn't mean you don't need help

If you moaned about your health issues, would you be happy with someone replying at least you're not terminally ill?

I think you need to take a deep breath and get over it.

I have no one to help. I have to do every single tiny thing and make every single decision. It is exhausting. Yes, I can do it with no help but I would kill for someone to share the burden of day to day life.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn Wed 30-Dec-15 09:53:38

Meant to say that I completely agree with the quotes I italicised.

Nydj Wed 30-Dec-15 10:00:06

I don't really understand why her making similar comments in the past makes you think she was having a dig at you by making a fairly generic comment. Could you explain please?

MagicalMrsMistoffelees Wed 30-Dec-15 10:04:22

Facebook is pathetic! Get off and don't look back.

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