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New baby sex and gender

(140 Posts)
Iliketoparrty Tue 29-Dec-15 18:13:48

My SIL is pregnant and texted folk yesterday about finding out the sex of the baby.

Text said something like - SIL and DH are expecting a male child in ...2016.

So DH texted back congratulations on having a baby boy ... Etc. MIL also phoned them to congratulate them as it will be the first grandchild for MIL.

SIL responded we don't know if baby is a boy, need to wait and see. Baby sex isnt important, it doesnt mean anything. Hopefully its a girl. This was also reiterated to MIL and other family.

MIL has been on the phone asking DH (he is a doctor) what does that mean, is the baby ok? DH tried to explain the sex/gender difference but MIL is still worried.

In the last hour we have had 4 family members phone us about this as they don't want to call SIL in case she gets upset.

Aibu to think there was no need to tell folk about the sex of the baby if she doesn't think its important?

eurochick Tue 29-Dec-15 18:15:42

You're sil is being a twat. But she's pregnant so I'd be inclined to roll my eyes and let it go.

eurochick Tue 29-Dec-15 18:16:08

Your not you're. Bloody autocorrect!

ExBallerina Tue 29-Dec-15 18:16:17

I'm confused. I can only imagine you are too. confused

FithColumnist Tue 29-Dec-15 18:17:23

YANBU. She sounds like she's being quite precious about it, tbh. And who the hell hopes that their male baby is going to be a girl? (Or vice versa!) If she's that liberated, right-on and non-gender-binary, surely she shouldnt be "hoping" for anything beyond the child to be healthy and happy.

Coldlightofday Tue 29-Dec-15 18:20:04

Does she mean in case the child doesn't align with its biologically determined sex?

Which is fine, but yeah, why find out?

Does she have personal reasons for this being a priority for her? I mean, it's important, for sure, but I was more bothered about my DC having all the bits he needed to be alive. In between vomiting.

MyGastIsFlabbered Tue 29-Dec-15 18:20:06

I'm confused.

catfordbetty Tue 29-Dec-15 18:20:08

I don't really get what's going on 😖

VimFuego101 Tue 29-Dec-15 18:21:06

I'm confused too. Did they or did they not have a scan to confirm the sex of the baby?

ElfOnTheBoozeShelf Tue 29-Dec-15 18:21:16

Is this more likely to be gender non-binary thought processes that she's having to back track to, or gender disappointment?

Cornelialovett Tue 29-Dec-15 18:22:05

Eh?

MyGastIsFlabbered Tue 29-Dec-15 18:22:40

I don't really understand the sex/gender difference, but I'm a bit hungover today so could someone explain in very simple terms for me?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 29-Dec-15 18:23:05

Now I could be wildly wrong but what I'm reading from it is.
She found out shes having a boy and thrown her rattle out the pram because she wants a girl. If that is the case she shouldn't have gone in for a baby

Leelu6 Tue 29-Dec-15 18:23:35

Is that now the PC word for a baby boy - male child? hmm

Text SIL saying 'I hope your first child will be a masculine child'.*

*The Godfather reference grin

ElfOnTheBoozeShelf Tue 29-Dec-15 18:23:49

Sex: biological characteristics.
Gender: psychological.

Scan will tell you the sex, but not the gender. So she's either being open the possibility of these not being the same, or is hoping the scan was wrong but sent the text before.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Tue 29-Dec-15 18:24:03

Are they being all hip and non gender binary?

Pipbin Tue 29-Dec-15 18:24:27

I agree with her about it not mattering and they will treat the baby the same etc, so then why find out, or if you do want to find out then why tell people?

She has told people that her baby will have a penis. Why bother telling people if you don't want them to know.

Cornelialovett Tue 29-Dec-15 18:24:47

I understand the difference but is she saying the baby is male as has a penis. But that he might not identify as male and actually they are hoping he's a girl so transgender?
That would be v odd!!!

WorraLiberty Tue 29-Dec-15 18:25:02

She has to be a Mumsnetter grin

JohnLuther Tue 29-Dec-15 18:25:11

My brain hurts.

Enjolrass Tue 29-Dec-15 18:25:37

So her child has a penis but she hopes it will grow up to be a girl?

Cornelialovett Tue 29-Dec-15 18:25:58

I mean odd in the way that why would you actively hope for a transgender child.

EmpressOfTheVulvaCupcakes Tue 29-Dec-15 18:26:26

Gender identity is a frankly ridiculous concept that plays to sex stereotypes. Eg if the little boy grows up to like pink sparkly stuff and playing with dolls, SIL will decide her child has a "female brain" and is actually a girl.

January87 Tue 29-Dec-15 18:26:34

My sis was a bit like this on her first child, was convinced she was having a boy. Convinced. Came the gender scan and was told she was having a girl, 90% chance.

Well she sobbed for hours, and said throughout the rest of the pregnancy that there was still a 10% chance it could be a boy. Nutso.

AuntieStella Tue 29-Dec-15 18:27:34

She's being really odd.

If you have said you're having a male child, it really is going too far to be ruffled if people refer to that male child as a boy.

If she did not want to reveal the sex, she didn't have to. Or perhaps she didn't, and it's a gremlin in the text?

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