And how on earth do I tackle it?
It has become apparent to me that a friend, I'll call her J for the purpose of this thread, is basically latching herself onto other friends of mine, and they then become distant from me and essentially ditch me as a friend.
There have been 3 friends in the last couple of years that she has suddenly developed an intense friendship with and all 3 have then become quite distant towards me and dropped me.
She has now developed a friendship with one of my best friends, whom I was at school with. They met through J's job, she has a job where she meets a lot of customers and they return to her regularly. Sure enough ex school friend is now ignoring my texts and today I saw her at a supermarket and she could barely bring herself to say hello let alone chat to me.
J seems to like to make friends with as many people as possible. Everyone seems to like her and she is intense with someone for a while then puts them on the back burner but they all seem desperate to be her friend and happy for her to pick them up at leisure, and she makes a big deal on Facebook about tagging who she is out with/having coffee with/at the gym with/out shopping with. She has huge amounts of friends and friendship circles that she doesn't 'need' to make friends with others, and also they are not really her type of person, so it grates that she has all those friends but still can't help pinching my mates too (yes I know I sound about 5 but it has made me feel like that!).
She is nice enough to my face, but obviously I've distanced myself from her in the last couple of years. It doesn't seem to stop her targeting people that I know though.
What can I do? I'm a fairly quiet person anyway and have never had a huge social circle or huge groups of mates.
I can't avoid her easily as we live in the same village and our kids attend the same school.
AIBU?
To think this friend has set out to cause problems for me?
Sianykins · 28/12/2015 23:32
Wendy. You are being Wendied. 
No experience I'm afraid so I'm not very helpful.
I don't think you can blame her because your friends are blanking you 
The ball is firmly in their court.
If you think she's spreading lies or something about you, that's different but you'll have to think of a way to find out.
It seems a bit unlikely that someone so sociable and so well liked would have the time or inclination to put other people off of you?
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It just seems too much of a coincidence, and also like she sets out to befriend them.
Not from what you've written it doesn't...well not to me anyway.
You live in a small village/town (not sure which?)
Your kids attend the same school.
Everyone likes her.
She has 'huge amounts of friends'
You have a small social circle
And (probably most importantly) you've spent the last few years distancing yourself from her.
Far from going all out to 'steal' your friends, I'd say it's very unlikely you even cross her radar.
Why would you?
Also try to think about it in context (to hopefully stop you worrying).
She's only become friends with 4 people who happen to be friends with you too, over the last few years.
That's not really unusual if you live in a 'small town where everyone knows everyone else's business', is it?
And certainly not unusual for a very sociable person who has a wide circle of friends.
I think you're worrying over nothing 
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