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don't want contact with XH

(6 Posts)
bigfatpig Mon 28-Dec-15 23:23:54

WWYD? divorced 6 years, DS now 8. XH takes any opportunity to email me to complain re contact/failure of skype call with son etc. i have honestly and sincerely supported all contact thus far, even to the point of making meals in my house for them to share and WASHING HIS UNDERPANTS as he lives abroad and lives out of hotel when here. (that all stopped with a call from social services after what they described as a 'malicious anonymous complaint') He has always had access time that suited him, but this xmas (first time) i said no, brief visit from abroad/new partner in tow/over xmas, not suitable. he ignored and came anyway - agreement says should be 'mutually agreed' and this wasn't.

he was verbally quite threatening on doorstep in front of son - i kept saying 'not willing to discuss arrangements on my doorstep in the street thank you...you can't dictate to me like this', then he started to talk about taking me to court, and demanding i give him response to trips at easter and summer hols and accuses me of 'parental alienation'.

skype call disaster today - didn't work out i think for connection issues - and i get unpleasant email as result.

i am very ill at the moment, been quite housebound since mid november and it makes it more difficult to cope with everything. he only reads the emails from me when he likes what i wrote. what to do? solicitor? we are in scotland. phone line advice was 'ignore him' and not to fear his threats.

abbsismyhero Mon 28-Dec-15 23:36:00

ignore it till tomorrow send him a brief message telling him due to the weather internet will be intermittent

what kind of agreement do you have is it court ordered?

limon Mon 28-Dec-15 23:54:33

The crux of this seems to be that you prevented him from seeing your child at Xmas. I don't really understand.why you would do that on the basis it would only be a short visit. so at first glance I think yabu.

FlatOnTheHill Mon 28-Dec-15 23:55:20

How often does he come back from being abroard. And does he come back just to see his ds. Sorry you are not well. Must make this so much harder to deal with.

abbsismyhero Tue 29-Dec-15 00:53:14

if its not convenient to let him and his new partner into your home on christmas day then its really not convenient its not like you didnt say no till he got there he could have asked to take ds out for breakfast or something

personally i found it highly intrusive when my ex demanded he see our daughter in MY HOUSE its my space stop violating it! take her out act like a dad dammit! we had this discussion and he decided not to bother contact again because of me and my "expectations" (and he lived around the fucking corner)

NeedsAsockamnesty Tue 29-Dec-15 01:06:14

Do you mean he only replies when he likes what you write?

It is a fact of life when you don't live together as parents you may not see your kid on Xmas day.

I would be disinclined to welcome someone who made a malicious welfare report into my home as well. And you do not turn up unannounced with a new GF in tow.

Ignore him see what he does. Enter into no personal conversation force everything into email and only respond to arange contact (short term) don't chase it yourself use as few words as possible, when he's being less hostile keep stuff in writing but add relivant stuff.

Keep an accurate written at the time diary of events like if Skype fails and why if he turns up what happens emails he does not respond to.

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