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if someone is driving somewhere do you give them petrol money?

(49 Posts)
kittypaws Mon 28-Dec-15 20:13:16

my friend invited me to lakeside shopping mall tomorrow, we live in north london and i said i'l come, she is driving. Do i give her petrol money since i'm coming along?
I was thinking of maybe buying lunch but its her and her dd.
What do you do in these types of situations?

witsender Mon 28-Dec-15 20:14:23

Pay for parking?

arethereanyleftatall Mon 28-Dec-15 20:14:33

Always offer it.
Then see.

ImperialBlether Mon 28-Dec-15 20:15:14

How far is it?

AutumnLeavesArePretty Mon 28-Dec-15 20:15:26

I'd buy coffee.

Hopefully she invited you as she enjoys your company rather than save on petrol costs.

Postitblue Mon 28-Dec-15 20:18:20

Offer a coffee by way of thanks. If she asks for petrol money it won't be much from n London (40 miles round trip?). Parking is free X

absolutelynotfabulous Mon 28-Dec-15 20:18:34

I'd insist on making a contribution if it were me. Even if it's not far. She's doing you a favour, even if she's going anyway.

TwatTheNinja Mon 28-Dec-15 20:18:49

I would offer, if she refuses, offer lunch or a coffee

Grilledaubergines Mon 28-Dec-15 20:18:49

Whoever is the passenger pays for parking or coffee and cake etc.

Unless it's a trip to the other end of the country when we go halves and the driver gets a bunch of flowers too for getting us there in one piece

ProcrastinatorGeneral Mon 28-Dec-15 20:56:28

When my friend had a car I'd periodically race her to the till pay for a tank full of petrol and always shout lunch or some such. That's just how it worked with us though, I was always grateful that she didn't mind having company in some shopping jaunts smile

TheWitTank Mon 28-Dec-15 20:58:29

I do, yes. A few of my friends refuse, but I will then pay for the parking/lunch/drinks.

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 28-Dec-15 21:06:42

I tend not to do petrol costs. I tend to make sure it all evens out. Like I gave a lift to my friend without a car a few times but her DH works in McDs and hooks us up with the toys! So it all works out. I alternate lifts with most friends.

lanbro Mon 28-Dec-15 21:09:57

Never taken petrol money from anyone since I was a poor student but a coffee is always appreciated!

Gliblet Mon 28-Dec-15 21:13:01

I don't drive so am always pathetically grateful to be given a lift somewhere out of town/unusual/fun! I usually say 'so am I chipping in for petrol, or buying lunch then?' Or something along those lines.

Alicewasinwonderland Mon 28-Dec-15 21:13:28

I always offer, pretty much everybody refuses, so I then offer coffee or something similar.

Piffpaffpoff Mon 28-Dec-15 21:14:03

Depends. If it's someone I go out with regularly, we tend to just take turn about driving. If I was going somewhere far away that was more of a one-off, I would offer money and if it was turned down, I would pay for lunch or something.

Clutterbugsmum Mon 28-Dec-15 22:16:01

I go our regularly with my friend who always drives, but won't take money for fuel so I buy her a drink or dinner if go out.

BMW6 Mon 28-Dec-15 22:24:50

Always offer, if refused buy the coffee and lunch.

Aeroflotgirl Mon 28-Dec-15 22:26:29

Offer, if she refuses, get her a tea/coffee/hot choc

expatinscotland Mon 28-Dec-15 22:29:00

Offer and if she refuses then buy her a coffee.

HarryDresdensLeatherDuster Mon 28-Dec-15 22:41:07

If I take someone with me somewhere that I am already going, I would be gobsmacked to be offered petrol money!

If I invited someone somewhere and offered to pick them up, I would be gobsmacked to be offered petrol money!

If someone then offered coffee/drinks etc, i would see that as the start of a reciprocal thing and would expect to buy the next round.

Windingstreamswithoutends Mon 28-Dec-15 22:44:58

No, if you are two reasonably well off earning adults I wouldn't offer petrol money. That's something students do. Offer to buy lunch or something though - it's the kind offer to take you that you're repaying for not financial loss

Arfarfanarf Mon 28-Dec-15 23:08:41

I will always offer.
It is the social convention.
People often do not want the money but the act of offering is significant.
It is another of the beffling social dances.
Failure to do it is considered by mamy to be rude.
So it goes
heres a fiver/ tenner for petrol
no put your money away
no please take it
dont be daft
ok fair enough but im going to get coffee

I observe this shit and people go like those exotic birds with their complex dances

If you dont do the dance right, you've screwed up.

Arfarfanarf Mon 28-Dec-15 23:09:44

Sorry for typing. Figners have been affected by too many whiskys :D

manyaroad Mon 28-Dec-15 23:17:17

No, I used to but it was always turned down and feels embarrassing for both of us. I'd rather pay for lunch or coffee. Although as a Londoner I often find being offered a lift more hassle than just taking public transport on my own, which wouldn't cost anything more for me anyway, so I usually refuse to accept.

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