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to ask how the hell people do it all ?!

(12 Posts)
SeptemberFlowers Sun 27-Dec-15 23:52:18

Before dcs I worked fulltime, had pets, house was kept reasonably tidy lived in but I had time for things.

Now I feel I've been treading on water since the dcs arrived. I worked 32 hrs a week with DH doing a lot of help too.

But by the time I have finished work, played taxi with their afterschool activities 4 nights a week, to then be faced with dinner, shopping and more house shit from living in a house with 4 people, 2 dogs and a rabbit. More often than not I have been relying on ping meals some nights for us all.

DH does do tidying up and cleaning, he also will take dcs to school on his way to work, often he'll do the pick ups as well. Only thing he doesn't get involved in is cooking, but he'll collect milk/bread etc out if he sees we are low so he is not lazy at all.

Those who work full time - how the fuck do you it all ?! Is it all down to routine ? I need help !

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Mon 28-Dec-15 00:00:55

To be honest I rely on my teens/older DC to help out. I leave a chores list on the fridge and just hope they take pity on me! They are good kids tho so I can't complain

IcecreamBus Mon 28-Dec-15 00:10:06

I'm a SAHM and I can't manage to do it all either. I think the key is prioritising what's most important. If DC's are old enough, give them little jobs. First one to do a great job wins!

I tend to clean as I go, but meals have been a prob at times, both preparing and clearing up. Some days you just have to say fuck it and give in to the oven meals or a takeaway.

ohtheholidays Mon 28-Dec-15 00:15:05

For me it was all down to routine Flowers,without I honestly would have been buggered!

I worked part time and went to college part time and I was vice chair of our local Surestart so it all added up to the same amount of hours as a full time job.I was a single Mum to 4DC at the time as well so I had to be organized or it would have all gone tits up for all of us.

Things I did that helped me.
Every night before the children went to bed I would get everyone's clothes and underwear out ready for the next morning and once the children were in bed asleep I'd iron it all for the next day.
I stopped spending 2 hours twice a week ironing,instead I'd wash and dry everyone's clothes then hang them up/put them away and I'd iron what we needed the night before we needed it.
Before the children went to bed I'd make sure any homework was done(only oldest 2)and they're bags were all ready so any P.E kits changes of clothes for the youngest 2 for at Nursery and wipes and nappies for the youngest.
Once a week I'd try to batch cook a few days worth of dinners that could be stuck into the freezer.I'd either wait till the 4DC were in bed or some weeks if I finished college early,I'd come home and get some batch cooking done whilst the older 2 were at they're after school club and the youngest 2 were at they're private nursery.

Every morning I'd get up at 7,wake the children up,turn the lights of,air they're bedrooms and beds,bring the baby downstairs,stick the kettle on,put the tv on for the LO's then I'd ask them what they wanted for breakfast and I'd stick that and the washing machine on.
They'd have they're breakfast then I'd get the oldest 2 to get ready whilst I washed and dressed the youngest 2 and brushed they're teeth.Then I'd go into the bathroom get washed and dressed,teeth brushed whilst the older 2 watched the younger 2 for me(I only took 5 minutes)then I'd get the washing out of the machine stick the next load on,wash up from breakfast and tidy the kitchen up,do my make up and hair,go and feed the rabbit and give him fresh water.
Then shoes and coats on grab the childrens bags and out of the door for 8.15,I'd walk the boys to school and then drop my 2 youngest of at nursery then catch 2 buses to college to be in for just gone 9 am.

If the morning was going really well then sometimes I could hoover and dust downstairs before we left the house,if not I'd do it when I got home.

Days I wasn't at college I'd get the whole of the house cleaned and every weekend I'd spend an hour getting the grass and hedge cut,do the weeding and watering and any planting in the gardens.

Dollymixtureyumyum Mon 28-Dec-15 00:17:13

It the tidy house thing that I can't seem to crack. I spend ages tiding it and then it just goes back to a dump within 5 minutes of Ds entering the room. Doest help I have a hopeless DH when it comes to tidying.

OvertiredandConfused Mon 28-Dec-15 00:18:20

I work a 40 hour week and spend another three hours every day commuting (1.5 hours each way). My DC are 12 and 14 now. I do have an au pair to help with driving DC (public transport not an option where we are) plus some chores and cooking. However, I still have to do a lot and all the planning is down to me. I don't expect the au pair to do everything!

Often I don't get to be in the same place for more than 15 minutes until 9pm and then I need to eat. Routine and a detailed weekly plan (for every member of the family) including a meal plan and shopping list on the fridge is essential.

I'm permanently exhausted and DH does very little, but I make it work and most of the time I'm fine. Every so often I loose it and make some changes but it soon creeps back. 2016 will need to be different as I've recently been diagnosed with MS but I don't actually know how to change it. DH won't change and I know I can't change other people, only how I react to them!

If you find a solution, do let me know!

Philoslothy Mon 28-Dec-15 00:18:22

I survived on a maximum of 5 hours of sleep a night - as did my DH. I am now a SAHM, our lives have been transformed

WorraLiberty Mon 28-Dec-15 00:18:49

If your DH gets involved in eating, then he should get involved in cooking.

Especially if you're finding it a struggle.

5BlueHydrangea Mon 28-Dec-15 00:32:14

Ohtheholidays I feel worn out reading all that!
Have joined thread for help, really not good at coping with it all. Only have 2 dc, work part time but still struggle to sort everything adequately, my brain won't get organised!

thelaundryfairy Mon 28-Dec-15 00:40:23

Routine, and outside help. We have a part-time nanny/housekeeper. I love to spend my non-working time playing with my children, or helping them with homework, or doing things together like cooking and cycling. So even though our incomes are both moderate, we pay for someone to help us with cleaning and other housework. It does leave us with less disposable income than other families we know, but, as our children are young, we find we can entertain them relatively cheaply (trips to the library, the park, museums that are free, watching films, playing board games). No doubt we will have to re-assess when they are older and their leisure activities and general needs become more expensive; also they will be able to help with chores as they grow older. Each to their own, I guess.

Other posters have given very wise advice, such as routine, prioritising, and assigning specific chores to each family member.

GiddyOnZackHunt Mon 28-Dec-15 00:49:22

We work full-time and getting on for full time. I do meals that last two nights (or freeze to be ping dinners), have several sets of school clothes including PE kits and expect DH to step up so I can keep the show on the road. I do the shopping online which takes far less effort. Washing can go into the machine but not put on until home time. A tumble dryer is essential.

MerryInthechelseahotel Mon 28-Dec-15 00:50:14

A slow cooker would be so helpful for you. Just place in ingredients and switch on. So nice to come home to.

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