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AIBU not to take her

(69 Posts)
frenchie12 Sun 27-Dec-15 19:36:51

DH, DD and I often head down the country for the day for a certain type of sporting event. Now DF's DD keeps pushing to come and she is very insistent saying how much she loves the type of event we go to. She has been asking non-stop if she can come next year. She is 20 years old.

Basically I don't know how to refuse and am wondering if AIBU. I love my family time and would prefer not to take her or anyone else for that matter.

DartmoorDoughnut Sun 27-Dec-15 19:38:24

YANBU at all, if she loves it that much I'm sure she'll find a meet to go along to. Enjoy your day out with your family.

UndramaticPause Sun 27-Dec-15 19:38:55

Suggest she goes with friends and say you're happy to meet for a hotdog and a cup of tea if you have time then turn the phone off.

theycallmemellojello Sun 27-Dec-15 19:39:37

Is this a reverse? How is it not family time if it's your DH's DD? And if you go often it's not like this is your one opportunity to spend one on one quality time with your DD. And why do you get the final say on the guestlist rather than your DH? YABVU.

SolsburyHell Sun 27-Dec-15 19:40:57

I think it's her friends daughter.

theycallmemellojello Sun 27-Dec-15 19:40:57

Ohh sorry I misread this - it's your DF's DD - ie your half sister. Sorry, that changes things. YANBU, but it would be kind to take her.

NickNacks Sun 27-Dec-15 19:41:13

It's a friend's child not her husband's if I'm reading currently?!

UndramaticPause Sun 27-Dec-15 19:41:20

I read df to be a friends daughter

DartmoorDoughnut Sun 27-Dec-15 19:42:04

Ditto, DF=friend I assume!

CakeNinja Sun 27-Dec-15 19:42:05

Is it just a day? How old is your own dd?

theycallmemellojello Sun 27-Dec-15 19:43:28

Ahh ok, yes, that makes more sense of the family only comment. Ignore me.

frenchie12 Sun 27-Dec-15 19:43:34

Yes, it's an old school friend's DD. DD is 12. Yes, it's just a day, about 3 times a year.

DoomGloomAndKaboom Sun 27-Dec-15 19:44:58

Is DF a dear friend?

Say you love your family time and it's something you, dh and dd do together and you never take other people along.

the 20 year old needs to find someone else to go with or go on her own (if it's that sort of thing)

I don't think your reason is unreasonable but you'll continue to be pestered until you either give in or tell the 20 yo it's not going to happen and why.

pinkyredrose Sun 27-Dec-15 19:48:15

I can't see why you wouldn't take her, pretty unfriendly not to. Do you not spend time as a family any other time?

Branleuse Sun 27-Dec-15 19:49:04

DF - is that darling fiancé, darling father or darling friend??

frenchie12 Sun 27-Dec-15 19:50:10

It is not a close friend. I think I'm probably BU but I really don't know her DD all that well as we have only got in contact again recently. Maybe I'm just a stickler for family time as DH can be away for four days a week with his job

YouBastardSockBalls Sun 27-Dec-15 19:50:38

Is it Olympia? <curious>

Shutthatdoor Sun 27-Dec-15 19:50:55

I can't see why you wouldn't take her, pretty unfriendly not to. Do you not spend time as a family any other time?

I agree tbh. It isn't as if it is every week

SolsburyHell Sun 27-Dec-15 19:54:12

Could you say you're not sure what your plans are for the next event and then in a few months time just go ahead with your own plans, it's a bit sneaky but maybe less likely to cause offence than a rejection.
Either that or have a quiet word with her mum.
Or just be honest and say sorry, it's a special thing for just the three of you.
Or you could be kind and take her (but you run the risk of then always having to do it).

LikeADivil Sun 27-Dec-15 19:55:02

Enough of the DF shit!
Just spell the word!

I'm sick of trying to decipher posts with all these DSID DSAIOSD ADPIOU SADFJDBU SHIT!

And - yes - you are being unreasonable. 'Family' time irritates me. What is wrong with other people?

Family time my arse - you just don't want to take the girl with you. Just say that! Don't try to cover up your arseholery by disguising it as a desire for 'family' time.

SolsburyHell Sun 27-Dec-15 19:56:19

And breathe...

Yourface Sun 27-Dec-15 19:56:38

Fox hunting?

SolsburyHell Sun 27-Dec-15 19:57:27

I thought fox hunting.

BastardGoDarkly Sun 27-Dec-15 19:58:26

Bloody hell divil chill!

Op, YANBU at all, just tell her.

BastardGoDarkly Sun 27-Dec-15 19:59:09

Oh it's not fox hunting is it?!

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