Compared to some of the other posts on here this is a real non problem I'm sure!
For background: My parents are disabled and I have spent this year spiralling into chronic illness. DH has a hoarding problem which lead to me kicking him out for a while until he realised his problems and got some help (he did, and things are majorly improved), but this means relationships with ILs have been strained.
For the first time in 3 years, Christmas wasn't cancelled due to hospitalisation at the last minute and we went to my parents. We knew this meant the DC would be largely trapped inside for 2 days, but my parents are very accepting of kids being kids and for all their boisterousness the extended time meant my DF got to spend a lot of one on one time with them - which he's been desperate for since their birth. Sounds great, except DH came down with a cold and was a complete non social arse and very angry and shouty at the DC.
We left yesterday and MIL had invited us round for dinner at theirs which DH accepted even though we're seeing his larger family today. So we're now into 3 days with the kids trapped in a car/house. Dinner was late. Fine DH said, as long as you don't mind the kids being up late. Fine they said. But it wasn't. Clearly we weren't welcome at all, let alone late. BIL and FIL spent all evening flinging them about and having fun but it made them all the more boisterous. MIL was awful about me and the kids after dinner. She's very good to us normally but has always preferred SIL to me anyway. SIL clearly didn't want us around either. Both them and BIL were bitching about us before we even left the house.
I can't get DH to realise that sometimes we're invited out of politeness, that maybe he needs to think about the DCs and their behaviour and that late meals are not appropriate. He just wants to spend time with his family and doesn't think it through. TBH I just want to tell my MIL not to bloody bother inviting us when she doesn't want us there because she knows DH will accept.
This should have been a nice Christmas without the stress of a near death for a family member. But in fact its been anything but. And I'm exhausted. I can't stop crying. I don't have the energy to go to the wider family today and paint a smile on, I can't deal with a 4th late night/trapped inside day with the DC.
Can we just not do Christmas next year? Can someone tell me to put my big girl pants on?
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AIBU?
to not bother with extended family again at Christmas
18 replies
StrictlyMumDancing · 27/12/2015 08:45
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