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AIBU?

Is this odd?

18 replies

TowerRavenSeven · 26/12/2015 16:52

I sent my friend a homemade scarf for Christmas. It was in a color she likes and was a traditional style. I had also sent one for my brother and sister in law. They were labor intensive but came out really nicely and my brother and sister in law were thrilled with them.

I sent them late-ish and was worried they wouldn't make it in time. I hadn't heard anything that anyone received a package (didn't want thanks just wanted to know if they received them), so I called my brother who hadn't gotten theirs yet. A few days later he called me to tell me he got them and they were waiting for Christmas to open them, all fine. I still hadn't heard from my friend so I rang her and asked if she got a package and she said she had as well and was waiting too, again fine.

I still haven't heard from my friend to acknowledge the gift. We talk every day or text. How hard would it be to quickly text just to say she liked it or if she didn't like it a generic 'it's nice, thank you'. I guess it's more poignant because I struggled so much learning how to do this scarf and my friend encouraged me , told me to not give up, and frankly it came out really nicely. So is it odd I haven't heard anything about it yet? We texted last night to wish each other Merry Christmas so we have been in touch.

Or maybe I'm just too sensitive because I knew how much I struggled with learning how to make it? By the way when she encouraged me she had no idea I was making one for her.

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Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 26/12/2015 16:54

Did she get you a gift? Have you said thanks?

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theycallmemellojello · 26/12/2015 16:55

YABU, it's Boxing Day. The day after Christmas day is way too early to think that thank yous are late! I'd say she's got a week or two actually.

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EponasWildDaughter · 26/12/2015 16:57

didn't want thanks just wanted to know if they received them

How hard would it be to quickly text just to say she liked it or if she didn't like it a generic 'it's nice, thank you'.

Slight contradiction in your OP there :)

But YANBU to expect a thanks. Maybe she will thank you in person or next time you're in touch. Maybe she hasn't opened all her presents yet? We sometimes keep some over for boxing day.

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SisterMoonshine · 26/12/2015 16:59

I too think she's got a week or 2.
Boxing Day is still in the thick Christmas for a lot of people.
Although maybe odd that you've had conversations and it's not been mentined - have you had conversations, or just those generic 'merry xmas' texts?

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SisterMoonshine · 26/12/2015 17:02

Oh, and if she saw how much of a struggle it was for you, it might be more difficult for her to know what to say than if it'd just been a pleasure for you.

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NerrSnerr · 26/12/2015 17:04

It's only Boxing Day. I will thank most people for gifts when I see them.

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Witchend · 26/12/2015 17:04

Well we don't open all presents on Christmas day, so probably wouldn't have opened it yet.
Plus I would either text and thank or send a card later, not both. If she recognises it was an effort to make then she may want to show that by a handwritten card.

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TowerRavenSeven · 26/12/2015 17:05

She did not but we are sporadic on our gifts. We will sometimes surprise each other on birthdays, sometimes not. Sometimes we'll send a little something for no reason at all and it goes both ways so usually we just say thank you and don't worry about not getting/giving as we reciprocate but not at the same time.

But, and I just thought of this, when she said she got it she acted all weirded out about having something for me and not being able to find it in the Christmas chaos. I laughed and just told her, whatever, it was on a whim not to think twice. But by saying that I didn't mean forget I gave it to you. Is she embarrassed even though we do the sporadic gift thing do you think?

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ElfOnTheBoozeShelf · 26/12/2015 17:06

Completely understand. When it comes to handmade gifts, it's an emotional connection.

That said, it is only Boxing Day.

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theycallmemellojello · 26/12/2015 17:10

I think you're overthinking this. I'm sure she'll thank you when she sees you or over the next few days. Personally I still have family staying and haven't even begun to think about thank you cards yet!

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HackerFucker22 · 26/12/2015 17:13

I managed to thank everyone for their kind gifts yesterday and today.

Just saying... (I either thanked in person or by message) This includes both sets of parents, my siblings, DP siblings and a few friends.

I'd have expected some acknowledgment by now to be honest.

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TowerRavenSeven · 26/12/2015 17:14

I guess I am thinking too much like what I would do. I'm very reactive and if I opened a gift that was posted (we live clear across the country) I'd pick up the phone and call right then. We never have so many gifts we don't open them all on Christmas but I know others do for that and other reasons.

I suppose my brother is the same as I am because he sent me a text of him and my sil wearing theirs Christmas morning! Thanks, I'll chill out about it. I was BU that everyone reacts like I do.

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TowerRavenSeven · 26/12/2015 17:20

Thanks elf and hacker. It was emotional - it sounds very silly for me to say crochet 'saved' me but it did. I was having a rough patch and when I finally learned I could use my creative energy. But I could not expect for her to know that.

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Perniciousness · 26/12/2015 17:44

I think you are over thinking it too. im surprised you even noticed.

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vvviola · 26/12/2015 17:49

I have to say, it is the reason that I don't give gifts of knitted things until I am 100% sure someone is knit-worthy. So far, other than the occasional baby present, and other knitters, the only truly knitworthy person in my life is DM.

When you put that much of your heart into a gift, it can be hard to get a lacklustre or no response.

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xmasseason · 26/12/2015 18:38

I think it's fine to write thank you notes up to 3 weeks or so after Christmas, so I'd say be patient and I'm sure you will hear before too long.

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Madeyemoodysmum · 26/12/2015 21:56

I think you are over reacting. She could have run out of charge or left phone somewhere. I don't look at phone when I'm socialising as its rude so don't look till evening or later. I'm sure she will be in touch in due course.

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cariadlet · 26/12/2015 22:54

If I've been given a gift in person, then I have thanked the giver at the time. But dd and myself have both been sent a couple of gifts in the post. I'm putting aside a bit of time tomorrow for us to write our thank you cards. I've always allowed dd up to a week to write birthday or Christmas thank you letters. I think that Boxing Day is far to early to feel that you've been ignored.

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