In tears today over sister's nastiness yesterday.

[Scroogehaditright15]

Yesterday DD(5) & I popped over to my parents to hand out gifts to my family (mum's had a foot operation and can't won't go out. DH gave us a lift, then had to wait in the van, as he has a cold and the family don't want to catch it

My sister opened her pressies (main one a beauty gift set, with mirror and lots of goodies). I know in the past she's like this, as her friends have given her the same brand and she's told me how great they are, yet she just sniffed, air up in nose, put it down, and said nothing (no thanks or anything).

As well as lots of little bits for her from me & DD, I gave her a some home-made pearl earrings, made from our late nan's pearls (my aunts, who had all our nan's jewellery) left these, not realising they were real. I didn't to start with, but couldn't bear to throw anything of hers away). She sniffed and said "I used to borrow nan's pearls all the time, she would have given them to me". I responded she was there when we went to empty the bungalow, and she chose what she wanted, and thought what was left was junk. I thought I was nice to share them with her.

Then my nephew (14). I gave him to big (expensive) gifts this year. One was a programmable robot, the other a game based on characters he loves. I was especially pleased with his presents, thinking I'd done well.

Now here's the killer. My sister took one look at his presents, said he'd not played with anything like that in 5 years and then said "well we've got a carboot to do soon, so you may get a quid or two for them". I was shocked, numb, and now I've got that lump in my throat and tears again. Stupid I know, but I honestly thought he'd like them, and we are short of money, so to hear they are considered 'rubbish' stings.

I got nothing from my sister (she said she didn't get chance to go to the cashpoint ) and neither did DD, even though she told me what she bought her friend's dd, who is the same age, and who she didn't even see yesterday.

After we left my sister kept on slagging off my nephew's presents and my son (24) stood up for me and called her a bitch!

Incidentally she gave my son a lot of Next vouchers with his name on, then gave him some M&S ones. He phoned her when he came to mine, assuming that one lot was for me, but she said she wanted him to have them. I'm not bothered about presents, but upset that DD got nothing and apoplectic with the comments over my nephew's gifts.

DH said it was lucky that he wasn't allowed in as he'd have ripped her to shreds, and is now warning that he will have a go if she phones us.

Please assure me I'm being oversensitive as right now I'm quite despondent.

[Scroogehaditright15]

Oh and my son gave her a Dove gift set, which she gave to my nephew saying she didn't use that 'shit'

[ImperialBlether]

Why on earth do you have any contact with this piece of work? And buying her presents, too! I would avoid going anywhere near her and I certainly wouldn't spend any money on her.

[lionheart]

You and your children sound lovely, OP.

I'm not surprised you are hurt by your sister.

[gabsdot45]

I'm speechless. Definitely don't get her anything next year.

[Scroogehaditright15]

Thanks Imperial. She's always quite 'blunt' but has never been this nasty before (or at least I'd never seen it).

[Scroogehaditright15]

Aww thanks for your replies. I'm just so hurt that I spent ages (and money which we literally don't have now), to make it a special Christmas, and it's all been flattened. I definitely won't bother again. I thought I was being stupid getting upset.

[redgoat]

Awful behaviour from her. Don't bother in future. My FIL told me he didn't like the gift we got him yesterday. Really upset me. It's so rude.

[JustWantToBeDorisAgain]

Look at this as a critical moment and reevaluate your relationship with your sister.

She is a bitch ( and rude to boot). Do not engage any further, but remember next year.

Can I ask why if you are cash strapped You needed to spend ££££ on her and her children? Do you usually try and buy her approval?

If you don't want to stop buying for your dn's set a budget of £10-15 max! And nothing for your d?!sis she has created a precedent which you should welcome with both arms.

[Chorltonswheelies422]

What a very rude nasty woman! for you - look forward to a much nicer Christmas next year

[Stratter5]

That's not blunt lovely, that's rude, ill mannered ignorant bitchinness.

[MumOnTheRunCatchingUp]

Did nobody say anything? Your mum? She needs calling on this behaviour. Awful

So sorry for you op!

[timelytess]

She sounds really horrible. Stop seeing her and get some counselling to help you stop trying to please her.

[bornwithaplasticspoon]

Bless you. I don't have any sisters but I'd love one like you. She doesn't deserve you. Just buy something small for your nephew next year and sod her (or give her another dove gift set to piss her off )

[LeNouedDeViperes]

Dear me, do you still have the receipts? I'd offer to take them back off her.

[catfordbetty]

There's nothing you can do about this Christmas - next year spend the money on something nice for yourself instead.

[Scroogehaditright15]

redgoat sorry you're FIL didn't appreciate your present.

Just - yes I think I will re-evaluate. I suppose I do try to get her approval, as she's always thought me below her. I also am very close to my parents who indulge her, saying "it's just her way".

I also got my brother nice pressies, and got nothng from him either, as he had an operation on his finger two days ago, so couldn't go out (Christmas being so unexpected eh).

[Youarentkiddingme]

I thought my sister is bad!

I'm really pleased your DS stood up to her.

Next year I'd give £10 love to shop voucher to DN and nothing else to sister.

[Scroogehaditright15]

Youarent - yep think that's the way to go x

[MadameJosephine]

Honestly? I would never speak to the nasty bitch ever again, family or not.

[catsmother]

I had a sibling exactly like this - who sneered, judged and stuck their nose up at every opportunity, was devoid of all tact or sensitivity and spiteful to boot. Lied and shit stirred all the time.

Have been NC for 15 years and haven't missed being made to feel shit or that sinking sickening feeling in my stomach ahead of each family visit. What's more I didn't want my kids exposed to all that either.

YADNBU to feel upset.

[ouryve]

At least you know you can save time, money and effort over her, next year.

It must be hard work to be so unpleasant. It baffles me that people have the energy to behave like this. You're not being over-sensitive, but she is most definitely over-rude.

[5BlueHydrangea]

She sounds incredibly rude. What did your nephew think of his presents? Not excusing her behaviour but does she have anything very stressful going on which may explain her mood??

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

She is a rude, ungrateful bitch. It actually does seem a pity that your DH didn't go in and put her in her place or at least take the presents back. Next year I'd get one of those charity vouchers for a goat or some such hopes this doesn't derail thread into a goat-bashing/charity-bashing one Then at least you have something to hand to her but you know the present will get used . . . just not by her

Her nastiness is no reflection on you, your DCs or your present buying ability. It is all about her inadequacies.

[Dipankrispaneven]

In your shoes I'd be heavily tempted to let your DH have that go at her. And then go no contact with a huge sigh of relief.