I know its AIBU but please be gentle as I am feeling really upset by this, maybe overreacting but if I am its probably becuase we have been having some marriage counselling.
I live 4 hours from my family and live in my dh home town where he runs a retail business, so as he works up to xmas eve every year we always have xmas here and never with my folks.
This is fine, no problem with that. But he has 3 brothers, all married, two of the brothers have young kids (five kids under 8) and they were all home for christmas staying with PILs. We went to visit them this morning, (they live 5 mins away) only meant to stay an hour or so but it ended up being 3 hours, which knackered my xmas lunch plans a bit, and we ended up eating a lot later, which meant my kids (have 5 dc between 15 and 7) were all a bit tired and grumpy by the time we ate.
I didnt really mind cos I was just happy that we were all back in our own house and was looking forward to clearing up dinner and sitting down with qulaity street and xmas tv, with dh and kids. (it had been really hectic at the in laws, kids and toys and pressies and tantrums everywhere, and all great fun gor the kids but a bit manic for the adults, not that relaxing. Dh was happy to get home.
But then he said would i mind if he went back round to his folks tonight as he wanted t spend more time with his brothers when the little ones had gone to bed, like heading out around 8.30. I was a bit taken aback and a bit disappointed becuase i was looking forward to us all spending the eveining together, also felt we had sort of "done" our 3 hours earlier and didnt see any real need for him to go back. But i didnt want to stop him from seeing his brothers so asked him to go out whilest i watched the Downton special with my girls and be home by time it finished at 10.45 so we could sit up for an hour or so after it and have a drink and a chat about the day. He was totally happy with this and headed out 8.40 to be home by 10.45.
He texted me at 11 to say he was still there and would come home soon. He finally arrived home 11.40, having been out of house 3 hours. Kids were all away to bed and i had been sitting waiting on him since 10.45.
Im really upset, disappointed and a bit fed up. I didnt really want him heading out in the first place but was happy to compromise but just feel that the compromise was all by me and he just headed home when it suited him. Its kind of spoiled the end of the day for me, hes kind of acting like im making a fuss about nothing, (i did cry a bit, probably as much tired as upset) and hes all like its not the end of the world that he is a bit late etc, but AIBU to think 3 hours round at his folks when we were already there for 3 hours earlier is a bit much and that he should have done what he said he would and just make sure he was in the door when he himself said he would be.
Part of me thinks i shouldnt even have to have this chat with him. If he would rather be over there than with us then why on earth should i care and i shouldnt let it hurt me or get t me, just ignore it and get on with things.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
AIBU to be upset my dh headed out for 3 hours this evening?
50 replies
Lilifer · 26/12/2015 01:09
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.