Bit of back story here but I'll be as concise as I can.
Older bro hasn't spoken to my Mum in a few years. He has 4 DC, the youngest 2 of which my Mum has never seen- I haven't seen the very youngest who is 6mo. My parents divorced when we were very young and my Mum brought us up- Dad died just over a year ago.
My bro is very judgmental, holds grudges and punishes people (by people I mean my Mum and me). His withholding contact from my Mum is punishment for perceived wrongdoings. I missed his 2nd youngest dc's 2nd birthday this year- it was my 30th a week later, a milestone birthday and the first birthday I've had since our Dad died- I heard nothing from him, not even a text. I know he didn't forget as I invited him and his DP to a get together I was having and my Mum sent him a message to remind him. He was punishing me. He wants us to make an effort for his dc but we never hear from him when we do, and he never reciprocates.
Case in point- Christmas. My Mum hasn't heard from them at all, no cards from bro or his DC. I spent a small fortune and a lot of time and care choosing and buying presents for them, wrapped them all and posted them up to where he lives- probably spent about £130 which is a lot, for me. Got a text from his DP yesterday informing me that they'd arrived. Today- nothing. Not a phone call, not a thank you message. 2 of his dc live with his ex so I didn't even know if they'd got their presents. Sent a message to his DP to ask if they'd all got their presents today or if they were waiting til tomorrow, she said they've all got them, thanks. That was it.
I just get so fed up of making an effort and getting less than fuck all in return. We're damned if we do and damned if we don't. He gets angry with us if we don't make an effort, and doesn't bother to get in touch when we do. I know that when I have DC of my own he's not suddenly going to morph into the worlds best uncle and live up to the expectations he has of us.
I want to just give up but I feel like I'd be punishing his DC for his actions. WWYD?
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AIBU?
To be so angry, hurt and disappointed by my brother?
61 replies
WanderingNotLost · 26/12/2015 00:04
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