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PIL's smells make me ill

(37 Posts)
BluecasioTG58 Thu 24-Dec-15 12:32:11

I like them, though they are set in their ways. Also MIL is very elderly and has some mental health issues. They are visiting for 5 days and I am already feeling ill with a horrible headache and runny nose. This is a reaction to fil's aftershave and mil's perfume, they use soooo much of it, first thing upon waking and the house is drenched with the smells. It's not that it smells bad but i am very sensitive to it (not sure why, but I have been since i was pregnant with dc1). I hate to be inhospitable or appear rude but I literally feel ill, nauseous too.

Would I be UR to ask dh to raise it? How do you think they might take it?

MatildaTheCat Thu 24-Dec-15 12:34:14

Of course you should say something.

Otherwise ask your dh to take them out for an hour and hide the offending items fsmile.

rosebiggs Thu 24-Dec-15 12:36:56

Will opening the windows help? When they get cold and ask you to close them you could say that your pg has made you very sensitive to perfumes etc and would they mind not wearing any?

Perniciousness Thu 24-Dec-15 12:38:34

Not much help but I can totally relate to your OP. My DMIL started wearing a super strong sickly smelling perfume. It was awful and made me feel nauseous. I'm really nit a special snowflake and can deal with unpleasant smells but this pursue was hideous. I dealt with it by telling her that her perfume was very strong. I wasn't rude and I didn't say I liked it or disliked it but she stopped wearing it. We get on very well so I hope she took it ok. I think she did.

Would it be possible that they just don't realise how strong it is? Could you just ask them to wear less as you are sensitive to it?

Perniciousness Thu 24-Dec-15 12:39:28

Sorry for typos

BluecasioTG58 Thu 24-Dec-15 12:40:26

all windows are open! it feels like an assault on the senses

BluecasioTG58 Thu 24-Dec-15 12:45:05

its tricky. MIL has some mental he alt problems so i think her perfume is a routine thing and dil is a bit authoritarian. not the easiest people to ask to change a habit even if only for few days. Also I don't like to come across as intolerant or fussy but i can't hep how my body reacts.

TheHouseOnTheLane Thu 24-Dec-15 12:46:23

My DH's Aunt does this OP and it's to mask the smell of her leaky bladder. Don't say anything...it could be to cover up other smells. Open windows.

Bupcake Thu 24-Dec-15 12:49:30

I'd ask DH to have a quiet word, just saying that you are hyper-sensitive to smells at the moment, and would they mind toning it down a bit. However, it may be that they're using it to mask other smells, as House says; in that case I don't know that there's much you can do really, other than keep the windows open.

londonrach Thu 24-Dec-15 12:51:50

Can i suggest vicks under the nose. Certainly got me through some smells you wouldnt want to know about. Otherwise open window, own perfume and long walks outside, limit time close t o them. Not sure how you can tactfully mention it.

clam Thu 24-Dec-15 12:53:39

YANBU, but you have the perfect excuse, being pregnant, to blame that and ask them to lighten up.

This thread has just reminded me why I cannot tolerate the smell of honeysuckle. My mother used to drench herself in Avon Honeysuckle perfume just before every lengthy car journey we undertook when I was a child. <boak>

WitchWay Thu 24-Dec-15 12:54:25

My PILs smell strongly of damp as does everything that they bring or send hmm

DH is allergic to his own parents - the damp smell makes him sneeze & sets off his asthma grin - he has told them this & they think he is "being silly"

We have tried to discuss it but they become angry & offended confused

They are hoarders who never open any windows, or heat rooms that are too stuffed to use

ElfOnTheBoozeShelf Thu 24-Dec-15 13:08:11

Discuss it gently.

OP have you considered this might be migraine related? I get different strains of migraines, and some of them are impacted by certain smells. Perfumes are a typical one, along with air freshener, artificial fruit flavours and some make up.

hefzi Thu 24-Dec-15 13:12:35

Another vote for Vicks here: strong perfumes tend to give me migraines, but Vicks, though it's strong, doesn't, and blocks the worst of smells out.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Thu 24-Dec-15 13:16:05

MiL smokes and then covers hersekf in JPG Classique. Not a good combo.

Then she wants hugs and kisses. Why? Why inflict that on people?

knobblyknee Thu 24-Dec-15 13:23:51

As people get older their sense of smell becomes dull, and they dont always realise how much perfume they are wearing. If it were me I'd gently ask them to wear less, saying I am hyper sensitive to smells at the moment.

GarlicCake Thu 24-Dec-15 13:30:55

I think you can say something, as long as you take the "It's not you, it's me" approach.

Would it be an idea to give them something else to use that doesn't overwhelm you? Baby cologne, 4711, something like that?

NanaNina Thu 24-Dec-15 13:38:06

It could be that the PILs are using perfume and after shave to mask problems with their toileting. This is very embarrassing and if this is the reason, asking them to stop using it could make them feel worse.

TheHouseOnTheLane Thu 24-Dec-15 13:40:07

Nana that's exactly what I said upthread and it;s a common thing...my DH's Aunt does exactly that. I would never say a thing.

anotherbloomingusername Thu 24-Dec-15 13:48:18

OP, the runny nose and headache sound like they could possibly be an allergic reaction. If it happens to you around other triggers, it's definitely worth getting an allergy test.

In the meantime, vicks under the nose, paracetemol for the headache and maybe try some benadryl / clarityn if you have it?

Boomingmarvellous Thu 24-Dec-15 14:01:22

I have chronic rhinitis and perfume makes my throat sore and nose run. Ask DH to say this to them. It's an allergy so they should be cooperative.

ImtheChristmasCarcass Thu 24-Dec-15 14:04:40

As people age, the sense of smell starts to go. My mum started dousing herself in this one very strong 'old lady-ish' perfume. I finally told her that 'I must be allergic' as it 'brought out my asthma'. We went to the shop together and picked her out a 'lighter' one. She still wore a bit too much, but it was a lighter, more 'floral' scent and was easier to deal with.

Do you think you could find them ones that aren't so heavy on your nose?

BluecasioTG58 Thu 24-Dec-15 14:04:44

it always happens with perfume, so maybe it is an allergy and worth investigating. When my dad is visiting I ask him to were less, but its easy he is my dad so i feel comfortable skiing him.

I'll try the vicks, interestingly i really like the smell of vicks and don't react to it. so dh did mention it to fil, he looked surprised but said the'd reduce it whilst here smile. just need to wait for the headache to lift now.

thanks for being a supportive ainu bunch fwink

BluecasioTG58 Thu 24-Dec-15 14:05:11

* wear less blush

BluecasioTG58 Thu 24-Dec-15 14:05:49

* asking - not sure what skiing is.

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