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To think this is being unnecessarily nitpicking?

(18 Posts)
Tindel Thu 24-Dec-15 11:06:31

We are currently getting a flurry of texts from MIL about a package one of her friends sent to us for DS (now almost 4 months) as a gift after he was born. Apparently we haven't acknowledged receiving this gift so MIL is demanding to find out what happened.

We sent announcement cards to everyone who sent us a card or gift. I did ones from people I knew and the mutual friends and DH did his. We honestly can't remember exactly who sent us what, but we did send this woman a card.

I took the time to write a little message in each card, referencing any gift. Not sure if DH did the same if I'm being honest, but I'm sure he said thank you at least. Quite frankly, we did send out cards fairly promptly for a baby born at 35 weeks. We got lots of cards, even from people we either haven't seen in years or don't really know. DS is lovely, but it's been a lot to deal with having our first child and we are quite distracted and exhausted.

Aibu to expect a pass that we possibly didn't precisely acknowledge every single gift in our cards, but did say thank you more generally? It doesn't help that MIL was demanding DH call her last night as we were trying to get DS to sleep to "get to the bottom of it" and is still texting this morning?

MaxPepsi Thu 24-Dec-15 11:11:09

Just tell her you have acknowledged all gifrs, cards were written and posted.

If the one for MIL's friend has gone astray, you can't be held accountable for the failings of Royal Mail.

If she keeps on wittering, then ask for the number of said friend and call her yourself when you have a moment.

MotherOfMinions Thu 24-Dec-15 11:49:21

She sounds unhinged. I think you need to keep passing this back to your DH to sort out. After all, she's his nightmare mother.

Dickbumdick Thu 24-Dec-15 11:51:50

Tell her to get a grip, silly mare

DoreenLethal Thu 24-Dec-15 11:55:50

so MIL is demanding to find out what happened

'MIL - it Probably got lost in the post. Get over it.'

WhatamessIgotinto Thu 24-Dec-15 11:59:20

FFS it's Christmas Eve, your first Christmas with your new baby, you really don't need this shit.

Tell her all gifts were acknowledged, thanks sent and how unfortunate theirs went missing in the post. Then don't give it another thought and enjoy your Christmas.

Optimist1 Thu 24-Dec-15 12:00:57

It sounds as though MIL's friends is one of those passive-aggressive types who doesn't enquire direct with the person responsible but involves a third party with an innocuous-sounding "Did Tindel and MrT receive the gift I sent? I do hope it didn't get lost in the post, but I haven't heard anything."

I used to be at the mercy of such types in my family until I developed the habit of replying "Why don't you ask them?" and changing the subject. If my DM has an issue with my DIL (for example) it's really not fair for me to be drawn into the argument.

Queenbean Thu 24-Dec-15 12:02:00

MaxPepsi has it in one

Happy first Christmas with your lo

Arfarfanarf Thu 24-Dec-15 12:02:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clam Thu 24-Dec-15 12:18:09

Tell her there's nothing to "get to the bottom of." You received a lively gift from her friend, dh sent thanks. End of.

BathshebaDarkstone Thu 24-Dec-15 12:21:20

Yy just tell her that all gifts have been acknowledged.

rosy71 Thu 24-Dec-15 12:23:00

After ds1 was born, I posted thank you cards to everyone who had sent us gifts. Unfortunately, someone tried to set the post box on fire so some people received charred cards with a note of apology from Royal Mail & some people received nothing.

Just tell her you sent a card; you can't help what happened to it after!

Moopsboopsmum Thu 24-Dec-15 15:29:40

My bitch MIL did this to me, turns out we had an old address for her friend. Who I had never met. Friend finally acknowledged that she had received the thank you card. I have never forgiven MIL for the fuss she made. Fucking bitch. Merry fucking Christmas. And this was years ago.

MrsGradyOldLady Thu 24-Dec-15 15:33:42

To be honest the hassle of sending out thank you cards negates the pleasure of receiving a gift in the first place. Personally, I'd rather buy my own shit.

You've done far more than I would have done to be honest.

Leelu6 Thu 24-Dec-15 16:45:54

This reminds me of that episode in Everybody Loves Raymond when Marie hounds Amy to send thank you letters for wedding presents. It turned out she only wanted to look good to her friends grin

Tindel Thu 24-Dec-15 16:49:08

Vague update, what we think happened is the friend sent a card and then a gift a few weeks after we had sent her a card. I think we were expected to send a second thank you card. I think she sent us a thank you card for the thank you cards we sent after our wedding.

I don't really know the woman, but I suspect she made a vague comment and MIL has gone over the top and decided to make a big thing about it - she does love creating drama. Have left DH to deal with it, although as we are spending Christmas Day with her, am expecting to get badgered about it. Am going to use DS as a distraction, particularly as she has decided her brother will feel uncomfortable about me bf'ing tomorrow, so I might just use the excuse to disappear for ages.

NerrSnerr Thu 24-Dec-15 16:53:44

We had exactly the same with my mil, she also sent a text this year saying that she has added our names to family cards as we are usually too busy to send them. We always send cards and had already sent them out.

Perniciousness Fri 25-Dec-15 01:36:16

I'd have replied
Thanks for the text, I've forwarded it to DH as he was dealt with the thank you cards for your side of the family.

Then I'd block her I wouldn't really but I'd feel like it wink

I deal with my family and my DH deals with this. I don't get this MILs texting DIL stuff.

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