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Should i say anything?

(11 Posts)
Somethingisntactuallyanything Wed 23-Dec-15 20:25:57

I know I know first world prob, etc but this is really playing on my mind.

Ds classmates mum and I had a fair few playdates together and then the boys started falling out a lot and it became obvious to me that my ds was being pushed about by this boy. I didn't particularly encourage the friendship as a result, nor particularly pull away but we both made less arrangements to see eachother. This boys mum is now really quite mean to me whenever I see her- makes comments about my ds, seems to laugh and mock me, I can't put my finger on it, but when I'm talking she will give long meaningful looks at the other person there with raised eyebrows, as though I'm absolutely crackers, makes comments about my house, my reliability, my parenting- not that it matters but I'm a gp and have a reputation for being absolutely professional and reliable, so I'm not quite sure where she's coming from except I do make light of myself quite alot in a self deprecating sort of way. I have no idea if I've offended her, if I should ask her directly if there's a problem or if I should ask a mutual friend from school. It's a small school and I don't want awkwardness but her constant comments really do upset me.

Chillyegg Wed 23-Dec-15 20:30:22

Just ignore the silly cow she's doing all of the crap behaviour to get a reaction.

Some people are odd just ignore her and back away. However if she's bordering on the slanderous ie taking your proffessional judgment into disregard then I'd do something.

emsyj Wed 23-Dec-15 20:30:46

I would challenge her politely and directly to her face next time she is rude to you. If she is raising eyebrows at another person while you're speaking, you could simply fall silent for a moment and then smile and ask, 'Sorry, am I missing something?' and wait for her response. Expect her to pretend that nothing is wrong. Keep challenging her, asking 'Is there a problem that I'm not aware of?' or if she makes a rude comment, that old Mumsnet classic, 'That sounded a bit rude, I'm sure you didn't mean it to'. She will never be your friend again but you can stop the snidey rudeness as soon as she realises that you won't tolerate it.

Chopz Wed 23-Dec-15 20:32:40

Can you challenge her as she says things 'what do you mean exactly?' or 'have I said something to offend you?'

Somethingisntactuallyanything Wed 23-Dec-15 20:33:46

Thank you, good advice. I'd really like to stop the snidey rudeness- I guess I can only go about it in such a way that the whole notion of friendship is out the window. I really don't understand why she's doing it though, it's so horrible

Somethingisntactuallyanything Wed 23-Dec-15 20:34:49

I could try. I'm not very assertive in personal relationships, it is a bit of problem

emsyj Wed 23-Dec-15 20:37:42

I have actually just today sent an email to a work colleague who has been giving me the cold shoulder for a while. It has stressed me out wondering whether to say anything but eventually I crafted a very non-confrontational (I hope!) email to raise it. This stuff is hard OP! I know very few (if any) people who are good at it or find it easy. Also, this sort of advice is much easier to give than to follow IMO!

MontyYouTerribleCunt Wed 23-Dec-15 20:49:36

Good advice from pps saying to very politely and not aggressively confront her if she keeps doing it.

As for why? Who knows? Probably because she's petty, childish and hasn't got a very interesting life I would guess grin. It doesn't really matter why tbh. She sounds like an arsehole.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 23-Dec-15 20:53:05

I'd just ask her out right, politely yet assertively what her problem was.

Pippidoeswhatshewants Wed 23-Dec-15 20:57:02

If that woman has no way of harming your ds or you and your reputation I would just ignore her and not engage in her attention seeking behaviour. Actually, I would just ignore her, full stop. There are a lot of bitchy weirdos around, don't feed into their deluded scheming.

Supermanspants Wed 23-Dec-15 21:08:51

Absolutely challenge her on her behaviour in a non confrontational way. ...'Is there a problem" while smiling and looking directly at her.

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