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AIBU?

Use a flipping coaster!

47 replies

Methenyouplus4 · 23/12/2015 08:45

Maybe it's because it's what my parents did, but if I put a cup/glass down on wood I use a coaster. If I'm at someone's house and I can't see any, I would ask for one (and only put it down if they say it's fine/what they usually do).

I have solid wood fireplace/ table/ window ledges etc and despite having coasters on all of them, I find a few people just ignore them and stick glasses/cups on the wood. This really annoys me as you end up with hard/impossible to remove watermarks. That said, I want guests to feel comfortable and not awkward so don't want to seem rude picking their cup up and moving it onto a coaster. I try to do it subtly but am I being unreasonable to think if there are coasters there you should use them?

OP posts:
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DonkeyOaty · 23/12/2015 08:55

You need to place a coaster handy once you've handed over the drink. And yes pick up drink and reposition if necessary.

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Bodicea · 23/12/2015 09:19

Not everyone likes coasters and are happy for you to put your cup on their tables/ windowsills etc.
It is actually a British class divide thing. Coasters are seen as very working/ lower middle class. It's related to the fact that they have probably spent a lot of money on new furniture whereas the upper classes tend to inherit their furniture and therefore are not as bothered about protecting it or something along those lines.
Personally I find coasters a but naff and precious. I do have a nice little miniature rug I put on one table.

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Bodicea · 23/12/2015 09:19

Ps I would always use a coaster if it was there in someone else's house though. It is rude not to.

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Caboodle · 23/12/2015 09:22

Only in Britain is a coaster part of the class divide Grin
YAdefNBU ... they are rude. Reposition at will.

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OnlyHereForTheCamping · 23/12/2015 09:34

My posh friends mum was mental about coasters and actually gave us a tutorial about how to use and clean the amazingly long and expensive table in their holiday house. It is not a class thing it is just how careful you are with your stuff. Just enforce it.

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Bodicea · 23/12/2015 09:35

You should read Watching the English by Kate Fox caboodle. It's fascinating!

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theycallmemellojello · 23/12/2015 09:39

Ha, I'd never considered it part of the class divide! I have also been trained never to put stuff down on wood. But I don't consider it rude when others do - it's something a lot of people don't care about. At the same time, it had never occurred to me that it might berude or aggressive to move someone's glass of your table and onto a coaster, I do this all the time.

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SparklyTinselTits · 23/12/2015 09:39

I'm a bit mental about coasters Confused
My dad put a condensation-dripping beer bottle on my solid wood tv cabinet once, and I nearly had a heart attack. I felt genuine panic, and threw the coaster at him Grin

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Caboodle · 23/12/2015 09:45

I will Bodicea sounds good.
Sparklytinseltits I'm imagining a scene like the one out of Shaun of the Dead with the LPs.... but with coasters instead. OP you need to take this approach....use a coaster or risk being decapitated by one Grin

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scribblegirl · 23/12/2015 09:47

I used to mock my parents about their coaster obsession and am now exactly the same as an adult Grin

I've decided that the easiest way is to just go over, pick up their glass and stick a coaster underneath just totally oblivious whilst nattering on about something else. I just act like it's absolutely not a big deal to me at all, and just say 'sorry, one of my quirks'! At no point do I handwring or make a big deal out of it (only serves to embarrass people further!)

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midnightsunshine · 23/12/2015 10:02

Hmmm I never use them at home, all my wooden furniture is old and a bit marked anyway or it's coated with something that seals the wood so it doesn't mark. Personally I hate using coasters, it seems fussy and they always seem to stick to the mug then fall with a clatter when I lift mug! I'd rather my kitchen table is functional rather than pristine.
However I do use them in others houses, if provided. If not I assume the mug can go on the wood.
Having said that I used to have a small varnished rosewood table that I don't want marked (never used it for drinks). For parties I used to put a couple of bamboo mats on it.

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TheCunnyFunt · 23/12/2015 10:16

Always use coasters at home on certain surfaces. Our coasters never stick the bottom of the cup/glass though, they're made out of thick slate and they're pretty heavy.

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AnUtterIdiot · 23/12/2015 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catgirl1976 · 23/12/2015 10:21

Coasters are vair naff.

But if you are in a house where they exist, then yes you should use them.

So YABU for having coasters, but YANBU for expecting your guests to use them.

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TimeToMuskUp · 23/12/2015 10:27

I don't like coasters one little bit and was raised in a house without them. DH loves them and puts them everywhere. It's like a silent battle between us; I hide them from view, he finds them and puts them back, buys more at Christmas, plops them about like little wooden devils and I hide them some more.

We need to get out more, admittedly. But I don't really care where people put stuff. We have lovely furniture but it's there to be used so I don't mind where drinks go. The only rule I do have is no Ribena in the lounge because that stuff is the bloody devils own drink to get out.

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ephemeralfairy · 23/12/2015 10:29

I love coasters and placemats, the more kitsch the better!! Our furniture is old and doesn't need protecting but I always use coasters. My current ones are made of cork and shaped like pieces of toast Smile

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Crinkle77 · 23/12/2015 10:30

Ha ha you remind me of my mum. When we were kids it was drummed in to us that we use a coaster if we were putting drinks down as we had a wooden mantle piece. To this day I won't put any drinks down on a surface without using one. Failing that I will use a magazine or something to put my drink down on. Well classy me.

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CastaDiva · 23/12/2015 10:39

I can't believe people are surprised coasters are a class marker! It's not in the least a 'Mn thing', it's a widely-recognised shibboleth like what you call the loo/the piece of upholstered furniture in your house that several people can sit on/your evening meal/what you say when you didn't hear someone say something etc etc.

Though personally I am from the deeply non-U side of things, and, despite having a lot of wooden furniture, including the kitchen table and work surfaces, and I find coasters prissy and impractical, and don't own any. Why would you deliberately go out and buy wooden furniture if you're bothered by ordinary marks to the extent that you have to hover with coasters any time anyone is in your house with a cup or glass? Doesn't it ruin ordinary social occasions that are supposed to be pleasant as you get increasingly frustrated by people putting things down wrongly?

Of course you should use coasters in someone else's house if they supply them and clearly want you to use them - that's basic manners - but I'd be a bit tickled by the prissiness of someone anxiously looking about for coasters for fear of marking a table.

Honestly, OP, wouldn't you be happier with a nice wipe-clean glass table and some paint on your mantelpiece and windowsills, so you could relax when you have company?

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OnlyHereForTheCamping · 23/12/2015 11:01

Honestly the bollocks people shite on about on mumsnet about class.

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wasonthelist · 23/12/2015 11:29

Personally I find coasters a but naff and precious. I do have a nice little miniature rug I put on one table

That's a classic right there!

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OnlyHereForTheCamping · 23/12/2015 12:00

I wonder is it middle class or upper middle class to use old penguin classics as coasters?

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Bodicea · 23/12/2015 12:09

Ha yes probably "was on the list" but my background is lower middle class anyways and the rug is something I have had forever and is a compromise with dh as he is a coaster fan. I wouldn't have them allover the place. People can feel to put their cups wherever they like.

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Bonxie · 23/12/2015 12:26

It's a bit misleading, this class-related coaster business. In grand houses of old, a steaming mug or dripping bottle of beer would never have found it's way out of the kitchen. Drinks would have been served from trays by staff, hot things with saucers.

I suspect it's not that people don't care about their priceless antiques, it's that they can affect not to care because they are rarely faced with a situation where such a thing is tested.

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Caboodle · 23/12/2015 12:51

And I don't see why we should aspire to the behaviour of the 'upper' classes anyway. Grin

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troubleinstore · 23/12/2015 12:59

Who knew it was a thing? I don't understand the people who say 'its an old / marked table anyway' .. why would you want to make it look more marked? Perhaps it's just the disposable throw away society we have .. it its broken/marked just replace it.
I have coasters, lots of them all different types .. I BLOODY LOVE THEM!!!!
(am I common?)

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