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Do I need to apologise to foaf?

(21 Posts)
HighwayDragon1 Tue 22-Dec-15 19:26:15

One of my 'friends' (for context we met up for coffee in town, a group of us, she was there as a foaf) asked me what my dds man present was. I told her, she looked at me like this fshock and proceeded to rant about how children didn't need electronics how it leads to obesity evils of screens etc etc, she was really condescending. My friend looked very embarrassed by her behaviour. Anyway I snapped back, how dare she talk to me like that, I didn't boast about what I was buying that she'd asked me and if she didn't like the answer she should keep her opinions to herself.

Foaf stormed out, leaving my friend really red faced and apologising, and the others just goldfish mouthing.

Now I wasn't the nicest to her when I responded, and it was childish to snap at her, but I didn't actually do anything wrong, right? Should I message foaf to apologise? Or just leave it?

Lweji Tue 22-Dec-15 19:29:24

Well done. smile

Just leave it.

I bet not many stand up to her like that. It's good that someone did.

Enjolrass Tue 22-Dec-15 19:30:27

It depends on how far you went.

Standing up for yourself is fine, if you went of the deep end you may want to apologise.

Even if it's just for going to far.

It doesn't sound like you went off on one though as mutual friend apologised to you too.

Personally I would leave it she sounds like a knobber.

Bubbletree4 Tue 22-Dec-15 19:30:30

No I'd leave it. She was outrageously rude and I expect most people just let her gob off like it (I would have done, would have been to scared/embarrassed). But your reply was fine and she deserved it. No way would I apologise to her.

TheBoysMamma Tue 22-Dec-15 19:30:35

I wouldn't, she should apologise to you

GarlicCake Tue 22-Dec-15 19:33:20

Great. Good for you. Leave it!

I'm sure you'll get slightly awed feedback from the other friends grin

wigglesrock Tue 22-Dec-15 19:34:22

Nope you're grand, I would have been a bit more succinct and told her to piss away off but you sound much nicer grin. Why would you apologise? she was the one being a dick.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease Tue 22-Dec-15 19:37:01

Leave it. What right did she have to comment so horribly?

Jackie0 Tue 22-Dec-15 19:41:34

You don't even know her ,leave it.

icelollycraving Tue 22-Dec-15 19:42:23

If you apologise,it'll undermine you calling her on being a twat. So don't.

CasualJersey Tue 22-Dec-15 19:44:01

Don't spologise!
People who do that (rant after asking) deserve nothing more
Than a curt response!
Well done you!
You actual friends response gives you the answer!
FOAF was in the wrong

Jw35 Tue 22-Dec-15 19:47:07

No way! Well done!

Arfarfanarf Tue 22-Dec-15 19:49:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsWembley Tue 22-Dec-15 20:00:25

Of course you don't!

In fact, you asking and wondering about it shows that you are actually the more polite and thoughtful of the two of you, so stop worrying.grin

building2015 Tue 22-Dec-15 20:07:07

God, your good.

Faced with dickishness like that I would have been open mouthed and stuck for words.

You did well. Thank you on behalf of all the people she has to interact with in future. She might think twice.

pictish Tue 22-Dec-15 20:07:59

Ywnbu. It was rude of her to ask then slate your reply. She can think it all she likes, but in that instance she most certainly wasn't allowed to say it.

CherryPits Tue 22-Dec-15 20:09:13

YANBU she was being an opinionated dick head and should never have had a go at you like that. Well done for standing up for yourself and scaring her off.

catfordbetty Tue 22-Dec-15 20:11:13

Now I wasn't the nicest to her when I responded

Does that mean, in fact, that your reaction was completely disproportionate?

zen1 Tue 22-Dec-15 20:41:07


A similar thing happened to me at a friend's birthday meal. One of her (gobshite) friends who I'd never met before was a practitioner in some New Age psychotherapy treatment she had devised involving crystals (non mainstream, non evidence-based) and asked me if I wanted her number as she could 'treat' my son who has autism. Everyone else round the table looked uncomfortable. She was spewing so much crap that eventually I left early. Received a message the next day from my friend hoping that the foaf "hadn't offended me". I wished afterwards I had challenged her more.

Trills Tue 22-Dec-15 20:57:39

You may have to apologise for calling her a foaf - it sounds like a euphemism for genitals.

WhereYouLeftIt Tue 22-Dec-15 21:10:08

You do not owe this woman an apology - she owes you one.

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