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To think MN has changed or is it me?

(51 Posts)
AtSea1979 Tue 22-Dec-15 10:50:59

MN has been a source of support since I was left holding the baby over 10 years ago. MN was my safe place, someone I could come and spill out my thoughts and not be judged. I felt reassured that others had similar experiences, done worst. I felt guided through my darkest hours. Don't get me wrong if I needed a kick up the backside I got it but in a gentle, supporting way. When I was told to LTB I did.
I used to come away feeling better, stronger, confident.
Now I typically come away feeling stupid, foolish, and wishing I hadn't opened that particular can of worms. It seems every thread I start now I'm left feeling deflated and stupid.
Has MN changed over the years or have I got more stupid with age?

goodnightdarthvader1 Tue 22-Dec-15 10:55:25

It's fucking awful. It's actually depressing me to read the horrible stupid things people are saying / piling in over / posting on a daily basis. I need to step back and look at Cute Overload, I think.

AtSea1979 Tue 22-Dec-15 10:56:05

Cute Overload?

FairyFluffbum Tue 22-Dec-15 10:59:27

It's hard to joke about things now. You have to say lighthearted in your post to indicate it's a joke otherwise everyone has a go at you

DangerMouth Tue 22-Dec-15 11:02:24

Yep, I've been here for 5 years (under different nn) and was a lifesaver with dd1 when l had no clue or any support with family on the other side of the world.

Chat used to be light hearted naturally without actually having to put it in OP and title hmm

Now everyone wants to tell you constantly what an arsehole you are see my last thread

It's a bit shit at the moment and if l weren't on maternity leave l wouldn't be so bored spending much time here l think.

PuppyMonkey Tue 22-Dec-15 11:03:11

Well the one thing that has definitely not changed is there are always threads like this every few weeks.grin

ScarlettDarling Tue 22-Dec-15 11:05:09

That's such a shame. I lurked occasionally on Mumsnet for years before becoming a more active member about 2 years ago.

I've actually found mumsnet to be a real comfort to me during some difficult times. Yes, some people will be aggressive or nit picky and sometimes threads lose their way, but a vast number of Mnetters are still interested, compassionate and supportive.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 22-Dec-15 11:07:15

The site has grown enormously over the years, think of how many people use it.

I disagree with having to put 'lighthearted' in the thread title, you'll get twattish posters posting despite the disclaimer.

It's a hugely popular site.

I've been here 5/6 years and there's always been knobs posting bollocks and ready to jump in with a snippy, nasty comment and that's not even including the trolls and goady fuckers.

QuiteLikely5 Tue 22-Dec-15 11:09:09

What is wrong with typing (light hearted) in a title?

I don't get these threads. Do you expect everyone to agree on an Internet forum? Why?

Dipankrispaneven Tue 22-Dec-15 11:11:35

I suspect that there have been threads like this virtually from the point MN started, and that the reality is that there has never been a time when everyone who posted was a sweetly reasonable lovely person. It's a large website, it will attract a very wide range of people.

InTheBox Tue 22-Dec-15 11:13:56

These types of threads are appearing at least weekly now. Of course MN has changed, it would be odd if it hadn't considering the amount of years it's been running.

Samcro Tue 22-Dec-15 11:16:36

it has changed, i think people can't cope with it not having mods now. you have to have "lighthearted" and spoilers in thread titles now

wasonthelist Tue 22-Dec-15 11:19:36

What is wrong with typing (light hearted) in a title?

It's patronising and ridiculous - it makes it look like the USA where anything you right or say is automatically assumed to be 100% taken at face value unless you include some sort of pathetic disclaimer for the hard-of-thinking.

wasonthelist Tue 22-Dec-15 11:20:22

dang! right=write of course dunno how I did that - can't even blame autocorrect.

AtSea1979 Tue 22-Dec-15 11:21:13

Sorry I wasn't aware there were lots of threads like these. You'd think after ten years I'd have worked out how to use the search option more effectively grin

suzannecaravaggio Tue 22-Dec-15 11:26:01

Internet forums are bound to change over time
I think it would make for an interesting sociological study

FairyFluffbum Tue 22-Dec-15 11:26:39

Re the lighthearted thing

I have a thread going at the moment whew I was joking about throwing ds in the river as he was being a total screaming mess. I wouldn't have done it of course, just needed a place to rant, however if I hadn't put lighthearted in the thread title you can guarantee I would loads of people telling me I was being unreasonable and should appreciate what I've got etc

As it stands everyone has joined in and has become a place to vent. It's lovely and made me smile. No one has said anything negative

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn Tue 22-Dec-15 11:31:05

I suspect that there have been threads like this virtually from the point MN started, and that the reality is that there has never been a time when everyone who posted was a sweetly reasonable lovely person. It's a large website, it will attract a very wide range of people.

Actually, when I joined in 2002 there weren't threads like this and there weren't bun-fights.

The flipside is that, at that point, there wasn't as much hilarity either. It was a far more level headed site back then with far less extremes. I've seen it go through that level headedness, through a point where there was the "right" amount of people for good discussion and the feeling of companionship up to now when it is so big that there are bound to be fights breaking out and many misunderstandings. I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all, it's just how things go as a site gets more popular. The influx of trolls that comes with popularity and publicity hasn't helped at all.

All the "lighthearted" disclaimers drive me bonkers though. Are people really so dense or argumentative that they think the OP is really going to do whatever unlikely thing they've posted??

goodnightdarthvader1 Tue 22-Dec-15 11:33:55

As I'm pregnant I originally joined MN for support. Unfortunately most boards except AIBU or Chat are dead, and the opinions you get on these boards can be very unreasonable indeed.

PuppyMonkey Tue 22-Dec-15 11:35:48

On the last thread like this (about 2 weeks ago), sure somebody linked to a thread like this from about 2002.

AtSea1979 Tue 22-Dec-15 11:37:05

It would seem so.
I find with my threads nowadays if there is a hint of wrong decision making people jump on it and twist words and make me feel like a bad parent and often call me stupid.
I guess I find it hard as I don't have people in RL to turn to and I don't have confidence/thick skin to brush if off. Also learning the more I try to fight my corner the worse it gets.
Last year there was a lovely Christmas gift giving thread, not the secret Santa one but one where you bought for the person above and so on. It seemed to work well.
There's not one this year.

AtSea1979 Tue 22-Dec-15 11:38:45

I think MN has only been running since about 2002 so they can't have had a thread asking if it had changed over ten years smile

PuppyMonkey Tue 22-Dec-15 11:41:50

Well no- but you get my point. smile

The one thing that has changed is that Twitter etc are here now and lots spend more time having a larf there than here.

suzannecaravaggio Tue 22-Dec-15 12:12:51

plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

Arfarfanarf Tue 22-Dec-15 12:18:12

That was me, puppy.
I linked to about 5 threads going as far back as 2002 all saying mn has changed and its not as good as it used to be, its unsupportive and people are mean.

Makes me wonder if in reality its ever been supportive and friendly or if weve got our rose tinted glasses on grin

Joking aside it is and always has been a mass of contradictions. Fun and humourless. Supportive and destructive. Kind and cruel. Clever and, well, you get the point grin

And thats because mn is not an entity. Its just a shedload of people with different views and different personalities so 'mn' will be on each thread nothing more than the sum of the individuals who happened across that thread.

Thats never changed

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