Not to want to drive forty minutes to a midwife appointment

[TheOddity]

Not sure if I'm being precious. You can judge me. I'm 36 weeks pg, had a routine midwife appt booked for Christmas Eve in our small town. Midwife just called to cancel it as she won't be coming as per usual this week to our town, I'm guessing because it's Christmas Eve! She asked if I could come in tomorrow, but our car broke down last week and we may or may not get the new one today depending on the work they need to do on it, so tomorrow will definitely be the first time I will have to drive it. We live abroad and the other drivers can be very impatient/crazy here. It's a solid forty minute drive.

DH could take another half day off tomorrow but with the car break down he has been forced to take lots of half days to sort it that out and as he doesn't get paternity leave, I'd really rather he saved his holidays for when I need him after the baby is born. Christmas Eve he is off but I'm guessing she isn't working then as she didn't offer me that.

AIBU to just wait until she comes back to our town again? I'm slightly anaemic and taking iron but other than that a healthy pregnancy. My blood tests are done for this week. Trying to weigh up if the greater risk is the long drive in a new car or not having the appointment. Sorry this is so trivial but would love to know what you would do. I can fit behind the wheel, just not keen on a long drive in a foreign country in a new car when I'm only a week from full term. Also this is our only car, so if I went into labour while there, DH wouldn't be able to get to the hospital without involving someone else.

[unimaginativename13]

Don't panic your nearly there....Are you high risk? Why would you think you would go into labour??

If it can wait then leave it, personally I found the midwife appts a bit pointless (I had consultant care too tho).

I drove up until the day I went into hospital but it's personal preference . Is there anyone else that could accompany you?

[WhoKn0wsWhereTheMistletoes]

Could you just go and get your blood pressure checked at your local surgery by a nurse instead? IIRC that's the main thing to keep an eye on in late pregnancy. Have you got notes with your previous measurements on to compare with.

[MrsBalustradeLanyard]

I would go just to keep an eye on blood pressure - mine shot up at 38 weeks both times.

[OrangeNoodle]

Can you get a cab or a bus?

[TheOddity]

I have my notes, I have an appointment at my local hospital on 23/12 for a routine check that they do here for Strep B and I can ask that the nurse there takes my blood pressure, good idea. That's kind of what I'm thinking, just seems a long, unnecessary and stressful drive for a ten minute chat and a measure of the bump. Not bothered about driving per se, just driving a new second hand car alone for the first time that is bothering me really. I think my confidence was knocked after the head gasket went on our car and I had to travel the last twenty minutes back alone crawling along the dual carriageway last week with the temperature nearly in the red, praying I made it back home because we don't have a second car to do the rescuing. The road has no hard shoulder and is full of those mountain tunnels like you get in the Alps with no stopping. I'm sure someone would help me but I have had to stop just after the mouth of a tunnel before and it is quite frightening because the cars go so fast and don't see the broken down car right until the last second as they exit the tunnels.

[Junosmum]

I've found my midwife appointments a bit useless so I'd skip it- tell her you've got other things planned which can't be rearranged.

[unimaginativename13]

You have a hospital appt tomorrow? But the midwife wants to see you tomorrow too??

How are you getting to the hospital?

[TheOddity]

Cabs don't exist here (I.e. It would be more than a hundred pounds) and the bus takes over an hour and a half and I have never done it before so the prospect of finding my way to the hospital that way is pretty much just as scary as the new car! What a wimp I am!

[TheOddity]

The hospital is a 5 min walk from my house. The midwife visits this hospital once a week for the pregnant people in our town but as we live in a remote area, we don't have a midwife based here, or any childbirth facilities, they were all removed due to cut backs. But the hospital here does all the blood tests, swabs etc. There is a gynaecologist here once a week too, but I'm guessing he isn't working Christmas Eve either otherwise midwife would have suggested that as she is very nice and does try to help.

[Phineyj]

Keep it local - the journey you describe sounds rather likely to raise your blood pressure!

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

You sound stressed about it so for that reason alone, I wouldn't go. tbh if the midwife was overly concerned she would come to you as she usually does. Ask the midwife to ask the hospital to do any checks she considers necessary.

[WiIdfire]

I would go to the hospital, get a nurse to do your blood pressure and do a urine dipstick. Then phone the midwife with the results and have a phone consultation. Then you wont need to see her in person. If you are feeling keen you could measure your own bump!

[TheOddity]

Thanks for the messages. I know lots of you would probably just go and on a normal week I would be rolling my eyes at myself. I'm not normally this wimpy.

[Footle]

You said 'a week before full term' - haven't you still got a month ?

[unimaginativename13]

Full term is 37 weeks ( or 36?)

Yes I would explain the difficulties and asked for usual checks at hospital.

I always ask when people have issues with antenatal apps, if you went into labour and the maternity services are so challenging and your husbands at work, what would you do?

I treated every late appt almost as a a WWID, where was my husband, do I have everything ready and how am I getting there !

[honeylulu]

Full term is 37 weeks.Both mine were born at 37 weeks - very suddenly!
I second Wildfire's advice above if only to keep your stress levels down.

[Lightbulbon]

Sitting in a car for that long isn't a good idea when you are so heavily pregnant due to the risk of dvt.

But it is important that your urine and bp is checked ESP if this is a 1st pg because of the risk of pre eclampsia.

[Footle]

Thanks, I'm old, full term meant 40 weeks in the olden days.

[YouBastardSockBalls]

All my midwife appointments were 40 mins away, so yes I'd say YABU.

[Runningupthathill82]

As someone who is also 36 weeks, I think YABU. 40 mins isn't a long drive, really, is it?
I'll be driving that distance most days over Christmas - though admittedly around the motorways of the North, which I know pretty well, rather than in a different country.

[aurynne]

"Sitting in a car for that long isn't a good idea when you are so heavily pregnant due to the risk of dvt."

Erm... this comment surely wins the "drama of the year" award.

Midwives drive for hours every day to get to women's houses for visits, in emergencies and in labour, in the middle of the night, in Christmas Eve, Christmas and any other public holiday. Compared too that, you surely can drive 40 min for an appointment. If you are having a very normal pregnancy, you can definitely choose not to go, but then please call her with time so she can fill the gap and enjoy an early day herself. Don't do as some of my women do and call me 5 minutes before the appointment to tell me they are not coming (or worse, just leave me waiting for a non-attendance).

[MatildaTheCat]

I'm a midwife and IF your pregnancy has been low risk and fine I would be quite relaxed about leaving it for a week especially if you can get your BP checked at the hospital and, ideally get your urine dipped, too. If there were any concerns you would need to be prepared to get yourself in to be seen.

If you feel well, your baby is moving as usual and you have no other concerns then I would be fine with the short delay. In reality it isn't always possible to follow a strict schedule of appointments but they should be regular and become more frequent towards the end of the pregnancy.

[LaLaLaaaa]

My hospital is 45 mins away so I was driving myself there and back for appointments all the way up to day of induction at 42 weeks.

I really don't see the problem I'm afraid YABU

[TheOddity]

Hi guys, thanks for the advice especially the midwives.

I wasn't so worried about the driving 40 mins, I've done the drive lots of times through the year for antenatal classes, it's more that I had to do it in a car I have never driven before and is ten years old, new to us but could have problems so was feeling a bit nervous about going it alone the very first time so far away, especially having nearly broken down on that road last week already. I just feel a bit more vulnerable at this stage I think, especially in a foreign country when I'm not shit hot at the language yet. If it was an urgent thing now, DH is 5 mins down the road at work and can drive me to hospital. Thank god we have a car again! This is not a place to be without a car!

I went to hospital today, got my urine results back that were done on Monday, as well as bloods including toxoplasmosis, got my blood pressure taken (all normal) check for for strep b done and have left a message for my midwife with all the info as she didn't answer her phone. Will try again later. I didn't have an appointment to miss as I said no to her on the phone about travelling that distance in a new (to me) car the day after we bought it. I'm classed as low risk, second baby so I think I'm probably fine for another week now! Baby is moving like a mad thing as usual. Must be getting excited listening to all these Christmas carols I've been playing.