Hi there
I'm lying awake over analysing the behaviour of my brother and sister in law. I am an only child and this year my husband and I were blessed with a new nephew. Very exciting for us and our kids - this is my husband's only sibling and our very first cousin for our three children.
However as the first 10 months of his life have gone on, we just aren't getting to see him as much as we like.
When he was born they just wanted to bond with the baby so we used to just drop food round on the door step. We were allowed in a couple of times but that was it....we did say how we really wanted to have a part in his life.
They have moved house and we've not been invited round once. We dropped stuff off again twice but never been actually invited.......it's not just us! They do it to everyone but not sure why. ....they were like this without a baby too to be fair. .they come to ours about once a month, have a key and are told over and over again that they can come and stay whenever they want.
We sent him A little parcel for his first Halloween, an advent Callander, arranged fOr Santa letters and now lots of presents for Christmas.
They've said they want to spend every Xmas morning by themselves which again is fair enough, we are spending it with my parents and in laws......it all sounds so petty when I write this down. Our children are older and their aunt and uncle seem to have their hands full with their almost one year old and I guess the bottom line is I'm feeling bad for my kids that they don't seem to have any special relationship with this part of their family. My bil and sil don't really see anyone from our families much as don't like the baby to travel much. We have a big cousin weekend away with our cousins and they want to know all the details but have decided that they are going away by themselves and don't want to commit to a weekend with us but want to be included next year.
I'm just a bit fed up now with continually tip toeing around them, organising all get togethers, family presents from us all to older relatives....the baby will be one next year. The mother is a control freak, I see that. But I'm harbouring a growing ill feeling towards them as there's not a lot coming back. They don't ask much about our kids or what they are up to....I guess bottom line is I feel really hurt. I don't want to say anything to them as we have tried in the past and know it won't go down well and also want them to want to be in our lives because they want to not because of a sense of duty if that makes sense....!luckily we have cousins and friends who are amazing with our kids so feel so fortunate......the flip side is that almost highlights how rubbish our bil and sil are in comparison though.......any advice on how to stop these bad feelings about them and how to just move on please?
Thank you!
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Keen for your wise words of wisdom please mums netters!
29 replies
bean123 · 22/12/2015 04:59
OP posts:
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