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If you want the kids pressies in time for Xmas day come and get them?

(20 Posts)
Alfieisnoisy Mon 21-Dec-15 20:53:38

I am not being unreasonable am I? I'm pretty confident I am not.

Got a friend who has health issues....I inow life is hard for her but currently I have no working car and she does.

I bought presents for both her children for Xmas and don't expect her to reciprocate because I know she can't and that's fine. DS has a large family and gets plenty for Xmas.

So I have no working car and nobody to get the presents over. ExH has arrived today as we are going to his parents for Xmas (we maintain an amicable relationship for DS). His car is now full of cases and we need to add pressies tomorrow....we've both just had a glass of wine as well.

So I get a message earlier from my friend "did we arrange to meet up today as I can't remember".

I replied that we hadn't but that if she wanted to pop over she could do so.....I was right in the middle of washing, packing, cleaning, sorting etc as we leave really early tomorrow due to a very long journey.

Then I get a message asking if we could go over there....and I said no as I was up to my eyes in stuff (didn't add...and she has a car and coukd come to me).

Now just had another message asking if we could drop the pressies round in the morning as she's bought bits to go with the present I have bought one of her children.

I've said no again as we are off by 6am so it isn't practical.

Now I am feeling guilty....argh......wtf is wrong with me? I couldn't get the pressies to her and just assumed we would meet up after Xmas and I'd give the pressies then.

She's right across the other side of town and I can't get there without two bus journeys so was sort of assuming she would come and collect or I would get them to her after I got back.

My fault as perhaps I should have made definite arrangements but honestly,...she has a car. She could nip over this evening still but won't or can't.

Alfieisnoisy Mon 21-Dec-15 20:54:52

Feeling bad now.

Wigglebummunch31 Mon 21-Dec-15 20:56:18

She sounds bloody cheeky, how does she know what you've got them?

whois Mon 21-Dec-15 20:57:08

Don't feel bad. It's a shame but if you've not got a car and it's not on the way to drop them tomorrow then you can't.

ButterflyUpSoHigh Mon 21-Dec-15 20:57:40

I think YABU why should she pick up presents you have bought. You should have arranged to meet her before. Especially if she has health issues.

Alfieisnoisy Mon 21-Dec-15 20:59:08

Yes that's my niggle too...I should have made definite plans. I've got my own issues too though.,.not least a disabled child and no car at the moment.

Buttercup27 Mon 21-Dec-15 20:59:28

But if she doesn't know you don't have a car, how would she know you couldn't drop them off ?

dementedpixie Mon 21-Dec-15 20:59:44

She'll just have to wait for them then. Don't feel guilty

Alfieisnoisy Mon 21-Dec-15 21:00:04

She knows I've got them as I told her what I'd bought the youngest child...in fact asked her before I bought it if it was suitable,

VimFuego101 Mon 21-Dec-15 21:00:12

She has a car, why on earth would she expect you to drop them off?

Alfieisnoisy Mon 21-Dec-15 21:01:11

Yes she does know my car is off the road...needs a big repair that I can't afford. I've spoken to her lots about this as I often do stuff for her when my car is working.

Alfieisnoisy Mon 21-Dec-15 21:03:10

If we were leaving later tomorrow I would definitely do a detour to drop them off. As we are off so early though it isn't practical as nobody there will be awake and I don't feel comfortable leaving them in the bin store area.

Mum and Dad have just got their car back on the road so I might ask them if they'd mind running them over to her,

Buttercup27 Mon 21-Dec-15 21:03:11

In that case don't feel guilty and get the presents to her when it's convenient for you.

Alfieisnoisy Mon 21-Dec-15 21:05:53

Right....all sorted, just spoken to my Mum and they will take them over. Phew!

Ignore my AIBU.....all solved and everyone happy.

VintageDresses Mon 21-Dec-15 21:06:21

Ordinarily I'd say Yanbu and she can have the present late but if you agreed to buy something that goes with what the child's mother has bought, I can see why she'd want it now.

Usually, it is the givers responsibility to get the gift to the recipient and whilst she shouldn't be demanding (or even expecting) it, it does sound like you've discussed it which makes things a bit different imo.

Arfarfanarf Mon 21-Dec-15 21:07:25

Perhaps be very blunt? My car is off the road and it would take me 2 buses and x amount of time. Since you have a working car i hoped you would help me out here and fetch them. If you arent able to do that then sorry but they will have to wait.

Arfarfanarf Mon 21-Dec-15 21:08:47

Xpost. Thats very kind of your mum. I hope your friend appreciates that.

Alfieisnoisy Mon 21-Dec-15 21:12:07

I honestly didn't realise she had bought stuff to go with my gift. If I had known that I would have made arrangements beforehand to get everything to her.

Anyway...it's all sorted :-)

Orda1 Mon 21-Dec-15 21:17:46

I know it's solved but in general I think it's the givers responsibility to get the gift out.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Mon 21-Dec-15 21:23:22

I'm glad it's all sorted OP.

I understand why your friend wants the present for Christmas Day, but it's a bit much to expect you to deliver on a certain day when you're not even in the area!

Never mind now, I hope you all have a lovely Christmas.

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