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Mum alone for Christmas

(64 Posts)
Carseat123 Mon 21-Dec-15 17:46:10

My mum will be alone on Christmas Day evening. We have a little girl born a couple of months ago and this year we had said we would have a Christmas just me, LG and OH. This was before I realised that all of my other close family would be going away and due to pet/financial commitments, my mum wouldn't be going with them.
My mum has offered to come and cook us Christmas Dinner as I will be busy with LG, I have gratefully accepted.
I would very much like my mum and herpet to stay the night so that she doesn't have to drive home (1 hour away) and if she wants she can have a drink.

My OH was unhappy that my mum was coming over at all, despite her being there to help. He is also frustrated that my other family have gone away without consideration that she would be alone - they did invite her but she declined as couldn't afford/get anyone to look after her pet.

I have asked OH of she can spend the night and he has said no.
I'm feeling even more frustrated as we are having his whole family for over a week at New Year and when I have said a couple of days would be fine but over a week is too long, he has refused to explain this to his family.

AIBU to want my mum at mine for one night? I always thought Christmas was a time to be together with your loved ones.

FadedRed Mon 21-Dec-15 17:52:16

Who died and made him God?
Tell him to fuck off to his family over Christmas and New Year and not come back

Nanofone Mon 21-Dec-15 17:54:04

Your OH is being very unkind. Ask him how he'd feel in years to come if his DDs partner didn't want him to come for Christmas.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 21-Dec-15 17:54:27

Your poor mum.

Tell your OH to sod off; you want your mum to stay for a night (Christmas night no less) and that's that.

theycallmemellojello Mon 21-Dec-15 17:56:53

Gosh yes, why is your OH being so mean? Don't give in on this one, it's your house too and of course you're allowed to have your mum come and stay. Is he really going to let her cook lunch then kick her out??

theycallmemellojello Mon 21-Dec-15 17:57:59

And woah - I just saw the bit about his family coming for a week. That is very unequal, does he understand this? Is he ok otherwise?

chocomochi Mon 21-Dec-15 17:59:13

Your DH is being very unfair and very mean! If he carries on like that, I would be in the mind of contacting his relatives and telling them New Year is cancelled!

NerrSnerr Mon 21-Dec-15 18:00:46

Why does he get the final say? He's not the boss of you!

lunar1 Mon 21-Dec-15 18:02:27

Wow your husband is an absolute cunt, who would leave somebody alone at Christmas!

foxessoxes Mon 21-Dec-15 18:05:06

What an inconsiderate prick. If he refuses tolet your Mum stay, ensure you ring his and tell her its no longer convenient for them to stay.

Enjolrass Mon 21-Dec-15 18:08:08

I would tell him

'Ok I wouldn't invite people into the house against your say so. On a different subject entirely, your family aren't welcome to stay in this house either.....shall I call them or do you want to do it!

Jw35 Mon 21-Dec-15 18:13:13

He's being an arse. You shouldn't even be asking him and he has no right to say no. It's completely unfair with his family staying a whole week!

KoalaDownUnder Mon 21-Dec-15 18:13:32

What an arsehole.

Tell him she's coming, end of.

TheCuttingRdge Mon 21-Dec-15 18:17:11

So you agreed to spend it just the 3 of you, but now your Mum will be there the entire time?

She basically invited herself by offering to cook.

clam Mon 21-Dec-15 18:17:57

Why on earth are you having to "ask" him if she can stay?

I presume there's a huge back-story of controlling behaviour here?

Hullygully Mon 21-Dec-15 18:19:47

he is just a teeny bit of a shitbag

kill him

notquitehuman Mon 21-Dec-15 18:23:05

I'd be annoyed about the last minute addition, even if she is helping, but it's not really up to him whether your mother stays. Especially if you are having his family for a bloody week!

TeaFathers Mon 21-Dec-15 18:24:59

is he always so inconsiderate?
tell him to go fuck himself and invite your poor DM.

AtSea1979 Mon 21-Dec-15 18:26:53

He's being selfish. Why does he think he can tell you what to do? Does he usually?

FoxesSitOnBoxes Mon 21-Dec-15 18:29:17

grin Hully.
Seriously, ask him to either ring his family and cut short their visit or let your mum stay. he has either not realised how unfair he is being or he is a massive shit.

Leelu6 Mon 21-Dec-15 18:30:01

Are you expected to cook for his family when they stay over for a week?!

I would tell him that your mum is coming to stay whether he likes it or not and also that he can take care of his own bloody family when they come to stay.

Entitled pos.

MizK Mon 21-Dec-15 18:30:08

Why is he being so mean? I would be very tempted to leave him to entertain his family alone for the week if he's going to be so ungracious. She's your mum for gods sake, does he really expect you to send her home after she's finished cooking his Christmas dinner?

whois Mon 21-Dec-15 18:31:47

I have asked OH of she can spend the night and he has said no.

I'm feeling even more frustrated as we are having his whole family for over a week at New Year and when I have said a couple of days would be fine but over a week is too long, he has refused to explain this to his family.

Wow. How can he say 'no' to your mum staying ONE night unless there is a massive back story?!?

If you mum is otherwise a nice person and has been good to you, I would think about decamping to hers and leaving him behind!

mintoil Mon 21-Dec-15 18:31:59

What hully said.

Absolutely agree with PP that he agrees DM can stay over Christmas, or his family coming at NY is cancelled. or maybe he can fuck off to his family at Christmas as well and leave you in peace?

Is he always such a wanker?

1frenchfoodie Mon 21-Dec-15 18:32:15

Can't your wider family club together and pay for animal boarding so your mum can join them.?. I can understand your OH wanting a christmas just you and your new baby - particularly as you have family over at NY (his only but still, you wont have the occasion alone). Why do you have to be the solution to her not being alone?

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