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To think my house, my rules?

(85 Posts)
foxessoxes Mon 21-Dec-15 15:18:52

So- the plan up until last night was id spend Christmas alone as I didnt want to travel 150 miles to my parents to spend Christmas there.

Went for dinner last night and I invited my friend and her DD (who is also my goddaughter) round for Xmas dinner so she didnt have to worry about cooking because shes a shit cook wink and then we have decided to spend the day together- they are coming over Xmas Eve and staying over and doing presents etc here

Parents called this morning to announce that they are coming, with my brother. And SIL and nephew. Right. confused

I pointed out that I live in a 2 bed, tiny flat. Not a problem- Dad has booked them in to a local B&B.

So they think they can squeeze in to my tiny flat on Xmas day to do presents, and have Xmas dinner. I have a tiny kitchen and my oven is tiny- there is no way I can cook, and host, for 7. Not a chance- 3 will be a push.

Ive pointed thisout to DM- surely you can uninvite them? Surely family are more important? This just goes to show how selfish she can be.

Anyway. I was starting to relent- and then comes up the topic about presents.

SIL doesnt want to do the whole Santa thing with nephew. So is it OK if we tell friends 5 year old daughter, that there are no presents from santa this year? No. No its fucking not. hmm

Que a rant about how selfish I am, how im not thinking about my own nephew at Christmas. I said- my house, my rules. She then tried to trump with "we gave you £500 towards your deposit". I have to admit, the tears from the laughter are still stinging in my eyes a little bit.

Ive told them they will be welcome to come- but they wont be staying, we will celebrate on my terms and if they dont like it- they can stay home, or if they are at my place they will be shown the door.


TeenyW123 Mon 21-Dec-15 15:21:00

Absolutely not!

Skullyton Mon 21-Dec-15 15:23:08

honestly, i would tell the lot of them to sod off. You've made plans, they can't just invite themselves 4 days before christmas!

BiddyPop Mon 21-Dec-15 15:25:53


What were they going to do if you hadn't invited your friend - turn up totally unannounced or let you know today?

Anyway, just because you are not going up to them does not mean they can impose on your plans. IF it suits you to have them coming, on your terms, fine. But with an "announcement" like that, I'd be inclined to not let them over the doorstep.

LagunaBubbles Mon 21-Dec-15 15:27:56

SIL doesnt want to do the whole Santa thing with nephew. So is it OK if we tell friends 5 year old daughter, that there are no presents from santa this year?

Good god, are these people for real? Why do they want to travel 150 miles to you anyway, thats the bit I dont get! confused

Seeyounearertime Mon 21-Dec-15 15:28:34

Tell them to get to soddery and sodding well stay right sodding there. Cheeky fuckers.
I hate family.... Well, not all family, my GF and DD are OK, the rest can join yours in soddery. grin

BiddyPop Mon 21-Dec-15 15:30:15

Sorry, I meant YADDDNBU!!

WhereYouLeftIt Mon 21-Dec-15 15:33:12

I think I remember an earlier thread. You weren't being unreasonable then, and you're not being unreasonable now. I wouldn't even open the door to them.

timelytess Mon 21-Dec-15 15:33:49

Oh dear. Tell your family your arrangements are made, they can't come.

SeaCabbage Mon 21-Dec-15 15:36:52

Why would you let them come?
and how will you cook for them if your oven isn't big enough?

What will your friend think if you completely change the plans you had made with her.

Tell your DM to eff off.

foxessoxes Mon 21-Dec-15 15:37:37

They think we should all be together at Christmas, and because I couldnt go there they thought they would come here. I can barely wait to get out the fucking house when I go. You would think they would get the hint wouldnt you confused

Finola1step Mon 21-Dec-15 15:39:42

Foxes you win the trophy for the best attitude to Christmas. I will remember your words....Dmum and Dsis have just arrived!

TheSecondViola Mon 21-Dec-15 15:40:13

If anyone called me and announced they were coming, I'd just laugh, and tell them I know they are joking because I hadn't invited them and we had no plans for a visit.
Frankly, if you gave any other response and they have form for this shit, you only have yourself to blame!

Dipankrispaneven Mon 21-Dec-15 15:43:14

Parents called this morning to announce that they are coming, with my brother. And SIL and nephew. Right.

I'm really fconfused about the number of times this sort of things seems to be coming up on MN. Seriously, who the hell just announces to someone else that they are turning up mob-handed on Christmas Day, will expect to be catered for, and also expect to dictate what other guests that person will have and how they will treat them? And just four days before Christmas?

OP, just say No.

FairyFluffbum Mon 21-Dec-15 15:43:14

How old is dnephew? If your sil doesn't want to do Santa does that mean he gets no presents? confused

Either way you are nbu!

NA200712 Mon 21-Dec-15 15:44:36

"we gave you £500 towards your deposit". I have to admit, the tears from the laughter are still stinging in my eyes a little bit.

I love this grin Your totally doing the right thing!

Dipankrispaneven Mon 21-Dec-15 15:44:50

Yes, what is the deal with SiL not wanting to do Santa? Is this some sort of religious thing? What the hell is she telling her son when he comes home from school and says Santa is visiting all his classmates?

OnlyLovers Mon 21-Dec-15 15:53:35

No, YANBU, obviously.

'No, you're not invited; I have other plans. If you turn up I won't answer the door, so don't embarrass yourselves.'

Bonne chance!

Sparkletastic Mon 21-Dec-15 15:53:39

It's up to you what you do about this. Very odd that this plan has only just been announced.

momb Mon 21-Dec-15 15:54:50

So eight of you altogether?
Is there anywhere near you that does lunch on Christmas Day that will still have spaces?
Otherwise: tell them to bring their own folding chairs. beg a or borrow a second table from friends/garden whatever.
Paper tablecloths
pre-prepped veg, frozen into oven or microwave. Microwave pudding and supermarket brandy cream or butter. Lots of booze and plenty of puzzles and games to keep the kids entertained. Everyone must help, and everything must be cleared away after dinner (by everyone) so you can relax too.

Basically the DCs need to have the best day so they get first dibs on choosing activities and TV. Everyone else pitches in with the effort.

Get out for a walk at some point: your parents will want to rest so you and your friends can make a bolt for it!

OurBlanche Mon 21-Dec-15 15:55:30

Look, you had a stupid moment. Now you are over it, phone them back and say no. You are not hosting them last minute, they need to go back to their Plan A and leave you alone.

Families, who have'em, hey?

OnlyLovers Mon 21-Dec-15 15:57:16

momb, no. Really, no. Why the actual fuck should the OP spring into action and host a bunch of self-invited rude types at all?

StrictlyMumDancing Mon 21-Dec-15 16:10:35

YANBU at all. However may be best to sort something out re friends DD as if your family do show up I imagine something will be said, even if just out of spite. Good luck

ImtheChristmasCarcass Mon 21-Dec-15 16:12:44

Nope, no way. Even family knows better than to invite themselves to my house for anything other than a cup of coffee or a chat, and certainly not en masse! It's just rude.

As far as the £500, tbh, I'd scrimp and save and proudly pay that money back as soon as I could or you'll be hearing about it every time you don't do what they want.

redexpat Mon 21-Dec-15 16:18:04


Just kidding grin It's not often you get a unanimous thread on here.

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