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To be really quite fucked off about the fact that I am currently miscarrying an having to look after DSD

(165 Posts)
Emmawemmawoowah Mon 21-Dec-15 10:15:41

I'm fuming, livid in fact.

I'm bleeding heavily, have thrown up twice this morning in front of DD and DSD and am having cramps.

DSD (7) hasn't let DP get close to me all weekend. She can't stand anyone else having his attention but herself, it usually doesn't bother me so much but at the moment I'm in need of that affection and struggling to bite my tongue.

They are both currently fighting as I'm writing on here, I'm trying to put my feet up, DP is out at work and I'm pretty mad that I've been left with both of them if I'm really honest. DSD has pushed DD (2) on to a table, she's caught her eye and bruised it so she's been crying hysterically an as a result DSD had a screaming fit because DD was getting attention off me.

I'm really struggling today, I just want to be on my own with DD. Is that understandable?

I usually look after DSD for most of the time he's here and she's usually always pretty demanding but my mood is low and I'm really hurting and struggling today.

PolterGoose Mon 21-Dec-15 10:19:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

M48294Y Mon 21-Dec-15 10:20:04

I'm sorry. I really think your dp should come home from work.

BeakyMinder Mon 21-Dec-15 10:20:10

Shit - what a terrible situation. Of course YANBU. Why isn't your DP helping, isn't there someone who can have DCs today?

Dinobab Mon 21-Dec-15 10:20:44

Any chance DP could come home from work and help? How do you get on with DSD's mum would she be willing to help out if you say you're too sick to have her? Grandparents?

CrohnicallyAspie Mon 21-Dec-15 10:21:09

You poor thing. Is DSD's mum in a position to come and collect her? Any other family/friends/neighbours nearby you can palm one or both children off onto?

Duckdeamon Mon 21-Dec-15 10:22:39

Sorry you're going through a mc. Your DP shouldn't be at work. Have you asked him to come home? If he won't then you could contact DsD's mum and ask her to collect DsD because you're not well enough to look after her.

Why do you usually do most of the looking after DsD?

Doublebubblebubble Mon 21-Dec-15 10:23:09

Could you ring dsd's mum and explain the situation? Sympathies op flowers x

justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Mon 21-Dec-15 10:24:36

Completely understandable OP. You're a mother yes but you're still human. Sending you some cyber love at this difficult time.

as polter said can he not come home? Or have you a family member or friend who is around to help?

If you can't get any help I'd put them in separate rooms (or together if they behave) with favourite films and chocolate so you can have some peace.

Emmawemmawoowah Mon 21-Dec-15 10:24:42

I've told him they are misbehaving but he's currently waiting for the vet to arrive as he's having problems with a cow that's on calving.

I'm fucked off that he knew I was miscarrying on Saturday and neglected to take me to an
EPU because 'ohh I have to pick DD up on time.' I just knew that I would be the one doing the brunt of the childcare and didn't think it was particularly suitable that she came here whilst I was in this state. Fair enough if DP was able to look after her but he isn't. I've rang MIL and told her I'm struggling and she's basically just turned around and said that if I had two kids then I would just have to cope which is true, but they would be my own kids, DSD isn't and at present I'm finding her behaviour very challenging.

Great support network I have!

theycallmemellojello Mon 21-Dec-15 10:25:19

You poor thing, I agree that your DP should come home and support you flowers. But remember it's not DSD's fault, she's a part of your family too.

mamas12 Mon 21-Dec-15 10:28:17

This is unacceptable for so many reasons
Please phone your dh and tell him you need him home asap and if he can't or won't then you are going to contact dsd mum and your mum and a friend or neighbour in fact name anyone who can come over to yours and take. It's dcs off your hands and look after you.
You really need to concentrate on you NOW.
THIS IS IMPORTANT AND THIS IS URGENT.
Your health cannot be compromised here

ASAS Mon 21-Dec-15 10:29:37

Your MIL did not just say that did she? Jeezo, send the kids to me. Seriously though, call either DSDs mum or your husband

Emmawemmawoowah Mon 21-Dec-15 10:30:28

I know it's not DSD's fault but I don't see why I should be having to cope with her difficult behaviour at this time.

DP has been fucking useless if I'm honest. I was told to come home and rest but I desperately needed to do some washing etc so I started to sort it all out and DP told me to stop, funnily enough he didn't offer to do it him self and 5 minutes later was asking me what I was going to cook him for tea (which he then let me cook whilst he sat on his arse) as well as this I'm in a freezing cold house, I have no logs to light the fire with and don't feel strong enough to be carrying bags of logs down from the shed

Doublebubblebubble Mon 21-Dec-15 10:32:09

I agree with mamas12 as well... Not to be over dramatic but miscarriages can go... bad and leaving a woman with two children in her care is just irresponsible. Please call someone to come and help you x

OnlyLovers Mon 21-Dec-15 10:32:21

Oh, OP, I'm sorry.

Your DH is being a cunt, excuse my language. So was MIL.

Call your husband and tell him, don't ask him, to come home.

Do you have a friend or friendly neighbour to keep you company in the meantime? Whereabouts are you?

OnlyLovers Mon 21-Dec-15 10:33:01

Just read your latest post, OP, and he is even more of a cunt than I thought.

Emmawemmawoowah Mon 21-Dec-15 10:33:37

ASAS my MIL is an absolute cunt. My mum lives away and I really don't know who else I can ask. I don't have any contact details for DSDs mum and I don't think DP will
Take kindly to me requesting that she goes home until I'm well again.

To be fair he did take them out briefly yesterday and peeled some
veg but that was literally all he did!

SilverDragonfly1 Mon 21-Dec-15 10:33:45

I'm afraid I think your DP has behaved really badly. 100% his fault here. I feel very sorry for you and for your DD/DSD. What a traumatic experience for all 3 of you!

Shakirasma Mon 21-Dec-15 10:34:12

That is awful OP. Your DP is a cunt.

SilverDragonfly1 Mon 21-Dec-15 10:35:13

I'd come and help you out like a shot, but I suspect your reference to log fires and cows means you are a long way from me (also MN would tell me off!).

juneau Mon 21-Dec-15 10:36:33

No YANBU. I'd be fucked off too. Why are you responsible for your DSD anyway? We only ever stayed at my dad's when he was actually off work and able to look after us (i.e. EO weekend). I think its really unreasonable that SMs are expected to care for other people's DC days for on end. If you DP is busy can she go back to her DM's?

AtSea1979 Mon 21-Dec-15 10:38:06

OP I'm so sorry you are going through this but please don't single out DSD. You need help with both DC, your DP needs to come home or someone needs to come and take them for a few hours.

calzone Mon 21-Dec-15 10:38:28

Where are you Emma......I am free to help if you are near me.

Sparkletastic Mon 21-Dec-15 10:38:39

Do you have a friend that you can call?

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