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To chuck baby in the river (lighthearted)

(140 Posts)
FairyFluffbum Mon 21-Dec-15 07:53:41

It's a sad state of affairs I have to put lighthearted in the title but there we go.

I have been up an hour with 9 month old baby...he has not stopped crying for an hour. I've given him his bottle, attempted to give him his porridge(it's now been thrown), I've picked him up, I've put him down, I've shushed him...he's still crying!!

Surely the only thing to do now is to chuck in the river and get a new one right??

Kerberos Mon 21-Dec-15 07:57:07

I remember 9 months being a particularly tough time for mine.

Big hugs. It's a phase and it will end.

RJnomore1 Mon 21-Dec-15 07:57:40

Sounds like a defective product to me. Can you return for an exchange?

I don't think the batteries come out very easily.

In a serious tone, perhaps he's coming down with something (sorry). I remember thinking dd1 had taken colic, she was younger mind you, but it turned out to be chicken pox.

jellyjiggles Mon 21-Dec-15 08:01:59

Yep I've wanted to return my defective children on many occasion!

In reality when it gets to this point I tend to dunk them in the bath or pushchair and walk.

FairyFluffbum Mon 21-Dec-15 08:05:47

I'm going to have to go for a walk...the 2 year old has finished nursery for Christmas <wails>

He is getting over a cough and cold but he is just so miserable. He will whinge soon because he's hungry again but he doesn't want to eat food and he hates his formula now. I can't win!

ProfGrammaticus Mon 21-Dec-15 08:10:15

Have you given Calpol? If so I think you may have to ignore some whinging, sounds like there 's not much you can do right now to make him cheerful.

shiteforbrains Mon 21-Dec-15 08:15:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FairyFluffbum Mon 21-Dec-15 08:16:33

He's not had any calpol this morning, that's next on the list but yes just have to ignore it. I'm in the kitchen.....washing up! It's more relaxing that sitting down as baby can't see me and therefore is quiet

steakpunararemediumwelldone Mon 21-Dec-15 08:24:47

My best friend is trying for a baby and asked me what it was like just last night. I quite honestly replied 'It was brilliant, there were only 3 times I nearly threw her out of the window.' She is 8 now and quite unscathed.
Fingers crossed he bounces back soon.

DyslexicScientist Mon 21-Dec-15 08:26:05

Oh hun have you tried claiming under EU rules? You have 6 years warrantee.

I'd call 101 to log it just in case.

BooOzMoo Mon 21-Dec-15 08:32:14

Gumtree????

Poor bubba .... Obviously upset for a reason .... Do the usual
Food
Nappy
Cuddle
Time alone
Toys
Rock not music
Baby smack Nelsons teething powder
Calpol
Sell
Give away for free?
Sledgehammer !!!!

Hope he feels better soon!!! thanks

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Mon 21-Dec-15 08:37:18

I often think that if they handed year 9 students a tired hungry 6 month to 2 year old for the day teen pregnancy rates would hit the floor.

Newborns are cute
Babies are exasperating
Toddlers are a form of torture

Wolfiefan Mon 21-Dec-15 08:38:56

Sadly I can't find the receipt for either of my children.
fwink

FairyFluffbum Mon 21-Dec-15 08:38:57

Thanx for all the sympathies...

Alas he can't have baby smack..he's cmpa and nelsons baby powder contains milk.

He is currently quiet at the moment nomming away on some dry cereal so I'm ok for now.

Did see anti social stubborn Guinea pig popcorn for the first time today. Was lovely to see grin

FairyFluffbum Mon 21-Dec-15 08:40:14

*
I often think that if they handed year 9 students a tired hungry 6 month to 2 year old for the day teen pregnancy rates would hit the floor.

Newborns are cute
Babies are exasperating
Toddlers are a form of torture*

Aaah but that would be the day said normal nightmare is a total Angel and looks innocent at even the word tantrum

TheWildOnes Mon 21-Dec-15 08:43:33

I feel for you op, my youngest is 7 months and has been screamy and miserable on and off since birth, I've had awful back pain and sciatica down me leg for 3 months. At this point I'm ready to throw myself in the river.
My other dc were never like this!

AppleSetsSail Mon 21-Dec-15 08:46:44

Send him to me, please <glances at grumpy 13 year old>

RomComPhooey Mon 21-Dec-15 08:51:40

Aaah but that would be the day said normal nightmare is a total Angel and looks innocent at even the word tantrum

Yeah, I bet they'd be enchanting for teenagers.

HSMMaCM Mon 21-Dec-15 08:54:41

I could exchange for a 16 yr old?

livvylongpants Mon 21-Dec-15 08:58:07

Alas all 3 of mine have been faulty.. I won;t be purchasing any more!

The first one I got has just switched into whiny Brat mode after 4 years and can't appear to change the settings back

The second one malfunctioned and is stuck in autism mode

And the 3rd one, the off button only seems to work when I give it boobs.

And no-one included the instruction manuals for any of them

Andthen Mon 21-Dec-15 09:02:46

grinLivvy

GastonsPomPomWrath Mon 21-Dec-15 09:03:43

Even the rag and bone man won't take my defective children. But I'm pretty sure with the right know how and the inclination they could be broken up and used for spares if theres any takers...? <hopeful>

DoctorTwo Mon 21-Dec-15 09:05:36

Just remember, you're not allowed to put Baby in the corner...

GastonsPomPomWrath Mon 21-Dec-15 09:09:26

Just remember, you're not allowed to put Baby in the corner...

Would the cupboard be alright though? No? OK then.

Helenluvsrob Mon 21-Dec-15 09:10:46

All I can says warranty or not, returning by the original method of delivery could be a little tricky !

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