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AIBU to want to give my DS coal for Christmas?

(109 Posts)
LolaCrapola Sun 20-Dec-15 22:34:02

DS - age 6 - is currently misbehaving lots at bedtime- no amount of consequences or threats that Santa doesn't bring presents for naughty boys seems to be working.

He is up and down the stairs for up to an hour, to the point that we all end up going to bed at about 9pm because it's easier!

I'm seriously thinking of doing something with regard to presents to ensure he gets the message that his behaviour is unacceptable, such as not having any presents that are marked 'from Santa', or not having anything in his stocking (yes I am that angry) or just not giving him all the stuff I have bought for him (his main present is a £30 Lego set for which I still have the receipt).

He will obviously have stuff from other people and his brother will have presents.

Has anyone else ever made the threat and followed it through???

(The reference to coal for anyone that isn't sure is because I live in Wales...and Santa brings naughty children coal)

lastqueenofscotland Sun 20-Dec-15 22:37:01

My mum did once when my sister was 15 or so after she had been utterly poisonous for a few months. She would make threats and never carry them through but this was an utter shock. I think mum even took her to the shop to return all the things on Boxing Day.

Obviously she was 15 not 6 though so not sure about the other way round.

teacher54321 Sun 20-Dec-15 22:37:58

I couldn't not give my child anything for Christmas because of messing around at bedtime. I don't like using Father Christmas as a threat anyway, as I don't think it works.

Wolfiefan Sun 20-Dec-15 22:40:09

I wouldn't expect Father Christmas to dish out consequences for my kids.
My DD is nearly 6 and bloody hard work at the moment. She's tired from a long term at school and soooo bloody excited.
We are keeping to her routine. Trying to keep things calm and issuing normal consequences for bad behaviour.
It's a hard time of year but if you use FC as a threat now what do you do for the rest of the year!

ghnocci Sun 20-Dec-15 22:41:13

Yabu. It's the sort of thing he would never forget and could irreparably damage your relationship in the future.

katienana Sun 20-Dec-15 22:41:24

I wouldn't I think it will make behaviour worse. Try to find out why he's doing it, then use an incentive to get him to stay in his room. Something he gets the next day if he's behaved eg a sweet at breakfast.

WhispersOfWickedness Sun 20-Dec-15 22:41:33

Nope, I don't use Father Christmas as a threat as I know I couldn't follow through with it!

Iggi999 Sun 20-Dec-15 22:43:36

Yabu. I know it must be awful, but the discipline needs to come from you not from Santa. Try to get to the bottom of what's going on. May be just super-excited of course. It's not really in the spirit of Christmas is it (well you're all pretty evil so I won't send you my son after all).

fatbottomgirl67 Sun 20-Dec-15 22:44:03

We did something similar when ds was about that age. Told him that every time he was naughty or rude Father Christmas took out a present and replaced it with a potato. On the day we put 5 spuds in his stocking along with toys. He was quite shocked on and did wonder what toys had been removed. Made him stop and think. He laughs about it now he's 16 so didn't scar him for life

0christmastree5 Sun 20-Dec-15 22:44:07

My aunt dropped off some gifts for me when I was young, they were left in the kitchen..... This is relevant.

Wrap up a "fake" gift. Warn him enough that if he misbehaves or doesn't listen it's going in the bin. You must follow it through and don't tell him it was empty...for at least 15 years . It worked for me.

OwlinaTree Sun 20-Dec-15 22:47:06

You can't give him an empty stocking.

WittgensteinsBunny Sun 20-Dec-15 22:47:10

I have a 2 yo & 8 mo - no experience of a 6 yo - but no present from Santa at Xmas sounds very mean to me. Will you still give him a gift? He will remember this forever if you decide to go ahead. And how much longer will he believe in Santa for? Do you really want the upset on Xmas morning? What will you do as a punishment next year if he doesn't believe in Santa anymore? Why do you think he's messing around? Could this just be excitement? Sorry you're having a hard time with him wine

whatdoIget Sun 20-Dec-15 22:47:13

I wouldn't do it. It's so hard for them at this time of year. They're just children and very very excited. I have every sympathy for them. I can't sleep when I'm excited either

PinkHairExtension Sun 20-Dec-15 22:49:08

Yabu. It does read like you are pissed off and want to upset him rather than actually teach him anything. You should think of something actually related to his behaviour rather than trying to shock him.

VoldysGoneMouldy Sun 20-Dec-15 22:49:10

Unreasonable and mean.

And I hate this whole "Santa won't bring you presents if you're naughty". If you want to have magic in Christmas, don't use magic as a threat. They only believe in magic for so long, why ruin it?

Chattycatty Sun 20-Dec-15 22:50:23

What about a warning letter from Santa saying he's had a message he's being naughty and he's in danger of going on the naughty list

prettywhiteguitar Sun 20-Dec-15 22:52:37

I think if you did it, you would probably regret it when you see his face.

I remember stuff my mum did to me like that. We don't have a great relationship though.

My advice it to mumble through Christmas and then operation kick arse in Janurary. I have a difficult 7/8 year old at the moment. He will be 8 in jam and he is just showing all sorts of annoying behaviour at the moment. After the holiday I will be going back to naughty step and star charts cause what we are doing at the moment doesn't work. I'm hoping that he sees how immature the behaviour is and starts acting more his age as the punishment is so childish.

wherehavealltheflowersgone Sun 20-Dec-15 22:56:16

Use portable North Pole to get him a personalised message that he's currently on the naughty list ... But don't give him coal!!

HarrietSchulenberg Sun 20-Dec-15 22:57:36

I wouldn't give nothing but coal to a 6 year old, but I might make sure that there were a few wrapped coals in his stocking along with everything else.
I did give ds3 a smiley-faced onion in a hat for his 7th birthday because I'd told him that's what would happen if he was naughty. The first present was the onion, followed by the Anakin/Darth Vader he'd been hoping for. He actually really liked the onion and wanted to keep it grin.

bettyberry Sun 20-Dec-15 23:04:31

I still haven't put my tree up because my 8yo has been an utter brat since Nov. I calmly told him without a tree there isn't anywhere for presents to go. He has realised today's date and that the tree is still not up and spent all afternoon cleaning his room and even hoovered my stairs grin

my mother has said I'm cruel but the message has sunk in. The tree will go up tomorrow night.

kelper Sun 20-Dec-15 23:04:45

I bought ds chocolate coal once.....

ClityClityBangBang Sun 20-Dec-15 23:06:00

I've also put a potato in the stocking!

I didn't remove any though so dc don't know what may have been removed or what they may have received if their behaviour had been better wink

goodnightdarthvader1 Sun 20-Dec-15 23:07:13

So how is that going to work the rest of the year?

Rapid return, end of.

Nanny0gg Sun 20-Dec-15 23:08:27

I think that's horrible.

I do find that some children (especially over-tired (from school) over-excited ones do not respond to sticks.
Maybe there is a better way of finding a carrot (reward) completely separate to Christmas, to aim for.

Or, alternatively, if this is new behaviour, cut him some slack.

Mmmmcake123 Sun 20-Dec-15 23:18:55

I view the whole naughty list as a bit tongue in cheek but my Dd was never in danger of being on it. My DS possibly in the future. It's a horrid idea to have him wake up to that on Xmas day, sorry. I wouldn't be against telling him he can't have advent calendar gifts the following morning but it's a little bit late for that now. You could try it now tho and if it works, following the big day remind him you all know he is capable of going to bed and Santa will be noting it down for next year

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