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To lower my expectations

(5 Posts)
iwannadancewithsomebody Sun 20-Dec-15 11:00:36

Sorry, I don't normally bother sharing on here but I am utterly fed up.

Today there is a Christmas themed event that I thought the kids would love to go to. I said to two other family members and suggested their kids would like to come. All agreed that it did sound fab and that everyone would love to go.

Now the time has come to get going and no one has mentioned it so I'm busy phoning around checking the plans whilst dealing with hyper kids.

It turns out that family A are going to do some Christmas shopping and have left kids with grandparents. Family B have arranged plans with other family members and have "forgotten" about our plans.

My DC are upset they aren't going to see the other kids as they haven't seen them in several months. We are still going regardless but I can't get over that they continually disregard plans made with our family.

Other instances include cancelling plans or suggested plans.

It's always us who make arrangements but they never happen yet they constantly are doing things with others, in the same family/friendship circle but the invitation is never extended to us.

I know I can't force people/family to include us but I have reached breaking point. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I don't know why they never give us a second thought when I am the type of person to extend invites.

Should I just give up on them?

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Sun 20-Dec-15 11:02:32

I would.

Please yourself, I say.

Have a lovely time, my lazy brood wanted to come home from the Christmas market before we even saw Santa. Don't know what's wrong with the miserable buggers!

theycallmemellojello Sun 20-Dec-15 11:04:12

I think it depends when and how you made the original plans. If it was two weeks ago and all that was said was everyone agreeing that it would be nice to go together, then YABU. You need to firm up plans - if I hadn't heard anything since a conversation like that, then I would just assume that the thing wasn't happening. However, if you'd set a time and place to meet, or spoken about it just the other day, then YANBU.

iwannadancewithsomebody Sun 20-Dec-15 12:24:07

It was on Wednesday that we agreed we would go but didn't agree on a time.

I get what you're saying but it's a regular occurrence when we/I suggest something. It's agreed in principle but then when another offer comes along we are thrown by the wayside. My DC get excited about the possibility of doing something/having other kids to play and then they are disappointed when it doesn't materialise.

CwtchMeQuick Sun 20-Dec-15 12:36:04

I have a friend like this. She's my best friend and has been for 18 years. She's unreliable and I know that and accept it. But I also know she'd walk through fire to get to me if I needed her.
You just need to weigh up how much these relationships mean to you. Ive dropped other unreliable friends because I can't be bothered with it. But for my best friend I accept this is the way she is and just make steps to avoid disappointment. I don't tell DS we're seeing her until we're on the way out the door, and I remind her continuously often that we have plans. She brings enough good to my life that i don't mind.
Go and have a lovely day with your dc flowers

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