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To ask ds to wear a pull up this Xmas

(68 Posts)
RedHead80 Sun 20-Dec-15 09:18:41

We are staying with my SIL this Xmas (24 to the 27th).

My 12 yo ds still wets the bed most nights but has stopped wearing pull ups because he is embarrassed by them. I perfectly understand so just use a mattress protector and tolerate wet bedding.

However I think it's unfair on my SIL and her husband if he doesn't wear a pull up. I also think it would be more embarrassing for him to wet someone else's bed.

I'm worried that just by asking him he will get upset.

PresidentUnderwood Sun 20-Dec-15 09:21:32

I think it's perfectly reasonable. I wet the bed till 11 and hated staying elsewhere.

Talk to him in adult way, sit and have a coffee and discuss in kind, objective way.

Make sure you think about how he can get rid of nappy in the morning - scented bag into a pre-agreed bag.

MrsLeighHalfpenny Sun 20-Dec-15 09:25:03

Would he wet the bed in someone else's house?

We've had bed wetting friends of DCs to stay and never once have any of them done it here. Same when we go away with Brownies. It's often a psychological thing.

youcanbeanything Sun 20-Dec-15 09:27:56

hmm

Yes, do OP.

Savagebeauty Sun 20-Dec-15 09:29:51

What has the doctor said about the bed wetting?

SatsukiKusakabe Sun 20-Dec-15 09:29:53

Poor lad. No experience, but maybe instead of directly asking him to wear a pull up, discuss the situation with him, put it the choice to him and see what he thinks. He might agree it's the least worst option, after all, no one need know.

Or, can you take a mattress protector with you and your own spare sheets and put those on, so you can deal with it if it does occur? Tricky though as more than one night.

Aeroflotgirl Sun 20-Dec-15 09:30:58

youcan not very helpful!

Pranmasghost Sun 20-Dec-15 09:31:39

I think he would be OK as long as he had a discreet way of disposing of it, maybe he could change in the bathroom, get into the shower and hand the wet one, in a bag , to you then only the two of you would know.
The last time my ds wet the bed he was 13 and he was staying with my bil and sil he was mortified, we weren't there and they were less than sympathetic.

youcanbeanything Sun 20-Dec-15 09:31:49

I agreed with the OP that a pull up would be best; I am obviously apologetic if that's not very helpful but I fail to see why it isn't!

Hairyfairy01 Sun 20-Dec-15 09:33:19

I would ask him what he thinks. I bet he's very anxious about it already.

SatsukiKusakabe Sun 20-Dec-15 09:34:15

It was the little sarcy emoticon that caused the doubt as to your helpfulness, youcanbeanything smile

youcanbeanything Sun 20-Dec-15 09:35:23

The hmm? That was aimed at the poster above who stated that no child wet the bed at her home as it was clearly a psychological issue causing it at their own!

Toffeelatteplease Sun 20-Dec-15 09:35:33

Have you considered using an incontinence pad? You will have trouble with getting a pull up to fit and be effective on a twelve years old

Put it over the bed sheet not under and take your own duvet. if necessary a regular waterproof matress protector under the sheet if you are really worried. But it should do the trick especially if you ate careful on evening drinks and toilet last thing before bed.

I would be doing this at home too. Reduces the amount of washing considerably. Also get a hospital style zip round cover much better protection for the mattress.

The washable one is nicer to sleep on, but the disposable ones easier to manage in a hotel or different environment. Get ones with a sticky back (disposable) or wings (washable).

Take it at 12 this is either SN related he has seen a doctor about this? There is often stuff they can do to help.

youcanbeanything Sun 20-Dec-15 09:37:02

Something else you could try, is puppy training pads under his bum! smile It works, honestly!

SatsukiKusakabe Sun 20-Dec-15 09:37:30

Oh, I see, it was a but ambiguous, looked as if it was directed at OP, which is probably where aeroflotgirl was coming from. Withdrawing my beak grin

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Sun 20-Dec-15 09:45:36

Yanbu to ask. Or even suggest.

List the pros/cons of wearing vs wet bed in auntie/uncle house.

Make sure he knows you will remove the used one from his room while he showers (or whatever)

Nobody else needs to know

Does he wet every night?
Most nights?
Some nights?
In a strange bed...?

Even bribe him with a fiver, if you think it really is the best option!

Ywbu to physically wrestle him in and duck-tape it on!

But by pointing out he benefits and getting him to agree, fine.

Toffeelatteplease Sun 20-Dec-15 09:46:02

I'm really not convinced a pull up is best. They are often ineffective especially as you get larger, even if I used a pull up I would be still using a pad just in case

Fluffyears Sun 20-Dec-15 09:52:38

Tena do actual pants they might be better as they are big enough for adults.

ClashCityRocker Sun 20-Dec-15 09:53:48

Dh had illness related issues with incontinence for a period of six months (various bladder issues) he found the pads much better - I'm guessing he would need actual incontinence pants rather than pull ups, and they can be uncomfortable to sleep in and seemed to be very leaky.

Hackedabove Sun 20-Dec-15 09:54:37

The Dr can give a spray of desmopressin to prevent wetting and can be used as a one off.

We've just taken our 7YO to the enuresis clinic and have a bed alarm, to try and teach him to wake when his bladder is full. 2nd night DH and I awake from alarm, DS slept through it for ages.

We're away at new year and he'll have a pull up on. Huggies make teenager pyjama pants.

I think YANBU to ask.

SummerNights1986 Sun 20-Dec-15 09:55:54

The hmm? That was aimed at the poster above who stated that no child wet the bed at her home as it was clearly a psychological issue causing it at their own!

That's a fair point though and could well be the case.

I was a frequent bedwetter until about age 14. I used to go for weekly sleepovers at a friends house and never wet the bed there. Not sure why.

Ledkr Sun 20-Dec-15 09:57:14

Use a bed mat or two then dispose discretely.
I'm surprised he's too embarrassed to wear a pull up but not too embarrassed to have wet bedding and pjs which is surely far less discreet.
Poor boy tho, what a trial for him.

TeaFathers Sun 20-Dec-15 09:58:40

as above - what has the doctor said?

RedHead80 Sun 20-Dec-15 09:59:38

I should say that he has been to the doctor about it and is seeing a specialist clinic. But nothing they have suggested so far has worked.

Toffeelatteplease Sun 20-Dec-15 10:00:47

DS8 was until very recently in the Huggies 8-15 year old. Don't get me wrong they are about the best you can in a standard shop without going into tena.

But even for my large 9-10 year old size DS, they didn't hold enough liquid to reliably prevent leaks.

Washable bed pads are the cheapest solution in the long run and easiest to do a dash to the toilet in if you sleep uncovered on the bottom half

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