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To think she stole more than i realised

(62 Posts)
Teenagecrisisagain Sat 19-Dec-15 22:19:17

A few months ago we had a cleaner. A really good very thorough cleaner who started to organise EVERYTHING for us and often sent texts like
"If you can't find something keep looking! I may have put it in wrong place!"

She was totally and utterly believable. Seemed nice and made our life a lot easier

I did start to notice I couldn't find things and put it down to me being disorganised or like she had said she may have put it in wrong place....
Couple of cardigans
Hair oil
Make up
Frozen dress
Etc etc

I went out one day and saw her. Wearing MY clothes. The ones I had 'lost'
Sacked her and as she refused to return key we changed locks.

This was months ago and over the last two weeks it has come to light that a couple of other items are also missing. A dress and another cardigan. I'm so upset and much did she actually take from us and how could I have been so stupid ?

It was dh work party last night and it was my go to dress for occasions. I don't go out much so hadn't looked in the wardrobe it's in for a while and not for that dress anyway but I went to the side it's always in and it's gone sad

AIBU to still feel upset about this and to think she must have been taking stuff and quite a lot for a while

pookamoo Sat 19-Dec-15 22:21:55

Did you report the thefts?

TheWitTank Sat 19-Dec-15 22:22:57

Why didn't you contact the police?

Pippidoeswhatshewants Sat 19-Dec-15 22:24:08

You need to report her to the police now. Why haven't you done that yet?

AfroPuffs Sat 19-Dec-15 22:25:13

As soon as she refused to hand the keys back you should have called the police and had her arrested. Why didnt you?

Teenagecrisisagain Sat 19-Dec-15 22:25:32

Yes but absolutely nothing came of it. Took me a good while to pluck up the courage to as well as googled her and she has serious form for this and worse
I had to wait to change locks as well first as was terrified as she knew where we lived and had access

Can I now go back and say I've noticed more missing or is it too late and items of too little value ? I don't want to open a can of worms is nothing comes of it again and she knows I'm persistent?
Tbh I'm not sure why more couldn't be done.

I also spoke to the person who recommended her to me

I am just fuming that still, months later I'm discovering that other things were taken.

Creampastry Sat 19-Dec-15 22:25:35

Go to the police ffs

KP86 Sat 19-Dec-15 22:27:57

What did the person who recommended her say?

TheWitTank Sat 19-Dec-15 22:28:03

Absolutely yes, go back.

Teenagecrisisagain Sat 19-Dec-15 22:28:23

I showed my texts to the police so I could prove she had worked for us (she was not through an agency)
Described all items I knew were missing
Mentioned about the keys

Nothing came of it. I was very unhappy. Especially given her history.
It was earlier this year April/may time

Can I contact the police again and tell them there were other items I'm only just discovering?

shutupandshop Sat 19-Dec-15 22:29:44

Thats awful.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 19-Dec-15 22:32:10

Did you tell the police that you'd seen her wearing the clothes?

I'd absolutely go back and update them on the new missing items, as well as asking if they are planning to talk to her or try to recover the items.

Teenagecrisisagain Sat 19-Dec-15 22:32:15

Lady who recommended her was apologetic she had recommended to a lot of elderly people she knew so that was why in the end I did it as I wanted her to warn them as I have no doubt she would be doing it to others

The lady who recommended her then told me she volunteers in a women's prison and that's how she had met her and had wanted to help her find work as she believed she had changed !
Now, I'm all for giving people a second chance but I wish I'd known this as I have dcs. It wouldn't necessarily stopped me hiring someone with a criminal record but I would like to have known.
She was very apologetic though and did promise to pass on the information
I also have her details to the police as thought they may be able to speak to the other people she did cleaning for. I'm assuming she either didn't steal from them or they hadn't noticed as I'm sure if they had she would have been properly dealt with

goodnightdarthvader1 Sat 19-Dec-15 22:32:20

sad How awful. I'd contact the police again. flowers

GloriaHotcakes Sat 19-Dec-15 22:32:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teenagecrisisagain Sat 19-Dec-15 22:34:11

Yes. One item was something I had customised so very very incriminating that she was wearing it

I told the police this. I don't know if they looked for it ? In assuming not as there's no way she could have had one herself as I customised it and I described in detail
I felt I'd got over it and now discovering more was taken than I thought I feel hurt all over again

Puffpastry1 Sat 19-Dec-15 22:34:59

You must feel totally violated OP and Im not surprised you're angry, she was in a position of trust and in your home (Ive been broken into twice, which is not the same but I know what it feels like to have things taken). Not sure how you could prove it though as her stealing was done bit by bit over a period of time and it's your word against hers.

Teenagecrisisagain Sat 19-Dec-15 22:36:12

Yes I did post about it

I've even had a look at her fb page (well what I can see) in the hopes there's a pic with her wearing something of mine so I could screen shot it as evidence (there wasn't unfortunately but I keep checking)
That makes me feel a bit stalker is but I'm just so angry

Teenagecrisisagain Sat 19-Dec-15 22:37:21

That's pretty much what I was told. I think the day I saw her wearing my stuff she probably got rid of it all and the key

I'll still be checking fb though just in case

Rosa Sat 19-Dec-15 22:38:22

I would also take the list of people that the friend suggested to the police - especiLly the elderly -

pookamoo Sat 19-Dec-15 22:39:53

This is definitely one to hand to the police. Not a 999 situation, but still.

Puffpastry1 Sat 19-Dec-15 22:40:23

Even checking on FB won't bring any benefit other than you remaining angry. It's hard OP but maybe you are just going to have to put it down to experience so you can move on.

Teenagecrisisagain Sat 19-Dec-15 22:44:13

It just really really upset me. At the time and again now that someone can do that

Looking back the texts about maybe not putting things in correct place and to keep looking etc were all obviously her being very clever and covering her tracks

I feel so stupid. Realising something else had gone just brought it all back

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Sat 19-Dec-15 22:57:51

I'm not surprised you're so upset OP flowers I remember your other post.

I think you need to go back to the police, even if nothing comes of it, you'll at least (maybe?) be able to draw more of a line under it.

3littlefrogs Sat 19-Dec-15 22:59:24

An awful lot of this goes on, and the perpetrators seem to get away with it.

My dad's carer stole a lot of his money. We discovered she had been in court for doing this to other people, but she was still able to work in a position of trust. She had persuaded him to give her his PIN, so nothing we could do about it.

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