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about my neighbours and their crap?

(18 Posts)
VelvetSpoon Sat 19-Dec-15 12:13:27

My neighbours have lived next door for about 6-7 years. Our houses are separated by 2 side walkways - so about 8ft apart. Theirs is a small 2 bed house, with a tiny garden.

When they moved in they had no children. They now have 4.

Their children are very noisy, especially when they all start screaming/crying. However as the older 2 are now school age this seems to have got a little better. And you expect's annoying (especially as I can hear it inside my house even with all the windows shut) but I figured eventually it would get better!"

However what is REALLY pissing me off is that for the last couple of years my garden is constantly full of their kid's toys. Now I have sons (they're now teens so don't really play in the garden) and when they were younger we had a few balls over the fence - BUT we always used to try and keep this to a minimum, tell the boys not to hoof it the length of the garden, under inflate the ball a bit so it didn't travel far, not play with small tennis balls because they'd always bounce over, etc. We weren't perfect but it was occasional rather than regular.

Their DC play very close to the fence between our houses. I'm not sure why, because the fence on the other side of their garden is much higher. And playing where they do, they chuck stuff over. Admittedly, they don't often knock to ask for it back - but that isn't the point, I don't want to have to go out and pick up kid's toys and chuck them back over. It's sometimes balls, but more often dolls, action figures, cars, all manner of plastic tat. I've not seen some of it before, and nearly broken my lawnmover when it got caught in the blades.

My garden is very large, and a mess. As such I suspect they all think it doesn't matter (like when they chopped all the overhanging branches off my tree last year and wedged them down the side of my fence - I know you're meant to offer the branches back, they didn't, just shoved them in my garden). Similarly, their refuse bin is ALWAYS overflowing, meaning the bags get ripped by foxes/other vermin and their rubbish, including their kids nappies, again ends up all over my garden.

There are many things I am prepared to pick up from my garden. A half chewed dirty nappy is not one of them.

I get their house is small, and so their children probably spend more time in the garden/ have more toys in the garden as a result. I also get that because there are so many of them, it's hard to keep an eye on all of them. Also that with 4 kids they probably generate a lot of rubbish every fortnight. But they have 2 cars and surely could take stuff to the local tip (only a mile away) rather than have their bin constantly overflowing?

There's a few other things as well - they broke the top part of my fence (the strip between our houses) which was trellis, and replaced it with crappy twig stuff, which looks shit. Oh, and they also chucked several binbags in my bin when I left it near the boundary of our properties.

Would this piss you off? Because taken as a whole it really annoys me.

howtorebuild Sat 19-Dec-15 12:22:15

I wouldn't like that either. I hope you find a diplomatic way of resolving their problems impacting you.

Sazzle41 Sat 19-Dec-15 12:39:35

Well if you think about it, the message you sending with an already messy garden is that you don't care re mess, so they probably are working on that theory and therefore think that you wont notice their crap!. If it was pristine and you kicked up a fuss re the toys I suspect they'd back off and the toys would lessen and any cutting branches etc would be asked about too. Don't leave you bin anywhere vague re boundaries and just get gloves and deposit dirty nappies/rubbish back on their doorstep/side of the fence, if they don't get that message, have a word. Toys: bin or charity shop.

VelvetSpoon Sat 19-Dec-15 12:45:54

My garden's messy in the sense that it's overgrown, lawn needs mowing, needs weeding, bushes need cutting back etc.

I don't think that's an excuse to let their bin overflow or their kids chuck stuff around!

There are no toys or rubbish in my garden other than what's come from my neighbours.

Nataleejah Sat 19-Dec-15 12:49:42

First of all, talk to them face to face

SoupDragon Sat 19-Dec-15 13:04:50

My garden is very large

And that is the reason you only had a few balls over the fence, not your supposed care and attention.

goodnightdarthvader1 Sat 19-Dec-15 13:08:58

That would all piss me off parents ndn kids did the same thing re: toys, deliberately. But they're not a nice bunch anyway.

specialsubject Sat 19-Dec-15 13:13:10

keep a large plastic bin and chuck alll toys in it. Don't worry about covering it. If they want them back they can collect from there. Don't throw them back. This might make them realise what the problem is.

the excessive rubbish is inexcusable but many people are like that. The noise is just how it is, I'm afraid.

but I'm afraid that when your garden grows into theirs, there is a case of 'do as you would be done by'.

how about a cup of tea and some adult discussion?

mmmuffins Sat 19-Dec-15 14:26:15

We had a much milder version of this and it did really annoy me so YANBU!

Next door neighbour had grandkids over every day after school for a few hours, and often all weekend. They were always in the garden shouting. Would scream from the garden continually for their grandma if they wanted her. Lots of toys ended up on our side of the fence. They played football a lot, and would just drop kick the ball into the air over and over right next to the fence confused. We'd get up to five balls kicked into our garden in an evening. I got tired of throwing stuff back so started ignoring it. The grandmother then pointedly commented one day that if I found toys I should throw them back over...the kids were also mean to my cats and tried to hit them with a broom when they wandered over the fence. Basically the children were a bit disrespectful and it did lower our quality of life when we lived at that house.

We were house shopping at the time, and not having an overlooked garden became one of the main requirements! We've moved and are much happier now.

VelvetSpoon Sat 19-Dec-15 14:39:33

I think I will start putting everything in a bin. I have a large (empty) black bin I could use. Still annoys me though that I'll be having to clear up after them, I already have a FT job and could do without having to pick up because they can't tell their kids not to chuck stuff in my garden!

If it was just balls, or a Frisbee, or something else that gets thrown or kicked, then the odd one or two I wouldn't mind. But balls probably make up 10% of it at best.

I am having my garden cleared in the next couple of months, and a summerhouse/games room built. If budget permits, I'll also try and increase the height of the fence, as that may stop them peering over and throwing stuff.

I keep hoping they will move, as I am here for another 5 years at least.

I am lucky in that my other neighbour is lovely. However she is very elderly and housebound, and I suspect in another year or two we'll have a new neighbour that side as well.

specialsubject Sat 19-Dec-15 15:08:39

the people you can't choose...

unless you are the owner of St james' park, it really won't take long to pick up the toys. Eventually they will all be on your side and that will solve the problem.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sat 19-Dec-15 15:37:44

Ask if you can go into their garden to cut back the overhanging branches. (I'd be dubious about someone hacking at my trees in case they damage them TBH)

They might say "Oh no we can't let you, the garden is a health hazard/too messy" in which case you say "I've been meaning to mention about the rubbish"

Though if I was getting half mangled nappies in my garden, I'd put rubber gloves on and lob them right back over . Foxes have carried them, obviously.......

I have a CM next door so invariably we get balls in the garden, I just put them back over the fence.

VelvetSpoon Sat 19-Dec-15 17:36:27

There are no overhanging branches now - they hacked everything completely back in the summer. I didn't know they were doing it til I came home and saw all my trees were massively lopsided. I then only realised they'd wedged all the branches and leaves between trees and fence a few weeks later. Which left rather a sour taste.

If it was just balls I wouldn't mind. Or the noise. It's the nappies and all the other rubbish. I've been out there just and there were sweet wrappers and crisp packets, plus at least 20 different toys, a couple of balls, several hairbands and 3 odd shoes.

missymayhemsmum Sat 19-Dec-15 19:00:27

I have a large overgrown garden. We have a hole in the fence so the kids next door can collect anything that ends up in the wrong garden and enjoy the extra space. Seems to work. Why don't your neighbours use a dustbin if bin bags attract foxes?

VelvetSpoon Sat 19-Dec-15 19:15:48

They have a wheely bin (we all do here, they're supplied by the council). Problem is, theirs is full to overflowing in a week - we only have a fortnightly collection - so instead of just taking their crap to the tip if they've got too much, they either balance a bag on top of the bin lid, or leave it open with all the bin bags exposed - either way it's easy prey for foxes, cats, birds or any other wildlife.

DontMindMe1 Sat 19-Dec-15 20:43:23

sweep all rubbish back into their garden and bin all the toys

AHobbyaweek Sat 19-Dec-15 23:27:22

Tell them that some councils will allow a second rubbish bin if you have more than one child in nappies.

VelvetSpoon Sat 19-Dec-15 23:45:13

I'm fairly sure that our council don't that - and in any event I'm not certain that they have 2 in nappies, as the 3rd child is at least 2.5, so may well be mostly or fully toilet trained.

I also don't really chat to them- I'm usually far too annoyed about all their crap everywhere to want to start a conversation.

My garden is clear of their stuff for now. I don't expect it to last long because the Xmas hols means a) the children will be around more - and because it's decent weather I expect they'll be out in the garden and b) our bin collection is going to be a few days later due to Xmas break.

Maybe they could use one of their 2 cars to go to the tip with rubbish? Or just let it end up in my garden, or halfway down the street. Grr.

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