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To have a music video channel on during the daytime when babysitting a 3 & 1yo

(91 Posts)
DyslexicScientist Sat 19-Dec-15 08:54:26

Just that really, I know music videos aren't perfect but my sister was pretty pissed off when she came back and the three year old was dancing to Ariana grande. It wasn't a slutty video, but did have short skirts, suggestive looks I guess, pretty mild compared with what is out there. Wasn't a r and b type video or rianna, would of turned it off if it was.

Obviously I won't do it again as she didn't like it. But was I u to do it in the first place?

Ohbehave1 Sat 19-Dec-15 09:07:03

Yanbu. My 3 under 4's love dancing to music. They don't understand the lyrics or the video. They just like the tune

thecatsarecrazy Sat 19-Dec-15 09:14:51

We always had music channel on when mine were young. Was cute to see them dancing.

Greenzoe14 Sat 19-Dec-15 09:15:51

yes, YABU, music videos are not suitable for children of this age. Also, depending on the length of time it was on for, and the volume, back ground noise like this interferes with children learning to talk. One off or occasional, not a big deal, but it isn't ideal

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sat 19-Dec-15 09:17:28

Defo not unreasonable, kids that age have no concept of what's "slutty" so I wouldn't worry about turning it off!

TimeToMuskUp Sat 19-Dec-15 09:19:00

People can be funny about stuff like this. I let the DCs watch music channels because they love prancing about to the music (and DS1, 10 likes learning the words, using the sky remote he can rewind to learn all the lyrics, like a modern day version of taping the charts off the radio). However, he has a friend the same age whose Mum went batshit when she realised her DS had been watching music at ours because she didn't want him exposed to that sort of thing. There's no right or wrong but I don't think you were BU. You would BU to do it again after she's asked you not to.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sat 19-Dec-15 09:19:17

I give it 5 mins before the pearl clutchers come along and tell you how tv and music videos rot children's minds and turns them into juvenile delinquents grin

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sat 19-Dec-15 09:19:59

Oh, cross posted, green is already here! smile

CastaDiva Sat 19-Dec-15 09:22:02

Yabu. Both because of the content -does a three year old really need to encounter the idea that dancing for women involves sexual behaviour? - and because having TV on in the background longterm, rather than actively watching a specific programme, is a really bad habit.

Quodlibet Sat 19-Dec-15 09:22:15

I wouldn't be particularly happy about it, but you were doing her a favour. I am really really careful about what imagery my toddler sees and wouldn't want her watching music videos.

Quodlibet Sat 19-Dec-15 09:23:44

Also not a fan of having the tv on in the background.

BrandNewAndImproved Sat 19-Dec-15 09:24:07

Bullshit on this having an impact on the dc learning to talk.

Op some people get funny about this sort of thing. I imagine they never have the radio on in the car either. It's just one more thing in parenting small dc that smug people can feel superior about but in the long run it doesn't matter one bit or have an affect on the dcs outcome.

Some countries have music blasting in every shop, every house, street corner and even busses. It's a wonder any of them grew up being able to talk.

ouryve Sat 19-Dec-15 09:28:24

I'd just put radio 3 on next time. Nowt like a bit of Stravinsky or free jazz to expand tiny minds.

VocationalGoat Sat 19-Dec-15 09:39:18

I grew up the youngest of 3. There was a 10 year age gap between my eldest and I. That I knew the words to every Marvin Gaye, Tina Turner, OJs, Supremes song by 5 is something I am proud of. At the same time my dad, a real Eastern European 'music scholar' type had me on the violin at 6. Irish mum hoped I'd become an unofficial member of the Chieftains while dad thought I'd give Yascha Heifetz a run for his money. By age 11, I discovered the brand new phenomenon that is MTV and big brother got me into Led Zeppelin while I nursed a heavy crush on Simon LeBon. Madonna was our 'inappropriate Sl*t' at the time and I couldn't get enough of her unsuitable videos. She hit me like lightning!
So my point is, I'm looking at my violin case now... I still play at 43! I've got everything in my music collection... Carol King, NWA, Snoop Dogg, Nils Frahm, Joy Division, Beethoven, Liszt, Duran Duran, The Smiths, Alicia Keys, Erykah Badu, Brahms, Dvorak... you name it, if it's a stellar tune, I'll listen to it.

Music...never harmed a soul! Is there anything more gorgeous than tots bouncing around to crappy pop music? It's great, uplifting, positive energy inducing stuff. I still listen to Hey ya! because I once had a 3 year old who used to bounce off the walls with me to that song. That was 10 years ago. He just hides in his room now. grin

I always had MTV on when I was a teenager babysitting. And you've got common sense. As long as you're not exposing them to overtly and overly sexualised stuff or aggressive, hard music, you're good.

LovelyFriend Sat 19-Dec-15 09:45:36

I've never played music videos on the tv since I've had dc - now 8 & 4. We do play the odd one on YouTube though.

It's not about the music at all. Women are largely portrayed in a T&A way in most videos. More often that not they are visually cliched decorations and/or are hyper sexualised and I don't want my dc to receive that powerful visual message over and over via the medium of music videos thanks.

My sister thinks I'm bonkers though. and I don't think she thinks about the issue at all.

Music can easily be accessed without the tv video channels - not necessary to play them at all to young children.

Kcat78 Sat 19-Dec-15 09:49:16

I always had the music channels on when DD was little - she was brilliant at guess the intro and I was very proud that she could name a band within 3 seconds of hearing the start!My mum doubted Kerrang was the best choice when she babysat once when DD was about 3 and dd began designing tattoos on the drawing paper she was given and stated she wanted her lip pierced....! (She soon rebelled against my musical taste opting for the delights of 1D and JLS!)

PonyoLovesHam Sat 19-Dec-15 09:55:35

I agree with lovely, it's not about the music, it's about the subtle messages about women and girls that these videos send.
I'm definitely not a pearl clutching type, but I never have music videos on for 4 yo dd.
She loves the little mix black magic song (because we do have the radio on in the car!) so I looked up the video for her. I thought it was depressing, the little mix girls are 'geeks' because they're not wearing much make up and glasses hmm then they end up bullying the popular girl with magic confused and probably get a make over and get the guy at the end, I dunno I didn't watch to the end.
It's just so subtle, but the messages are that you should be skinny, scantily dressed so boys like you. Imho anyway grin

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow Sat 19-Dec-15 09:56:59

In an ideal world one would be able to turn the TV on and let kids bop about to their hearts' content without having to worry about the women being portrayed as T&A. Because of course the toddlers don't understand now but they soon will.

So to answer your question neither of you ABU.

RebootYourEngine Sat 19-Dec-15 09:57:40

Seriously. It is only music.

saoirse31 Sat 19-Dec-15 09:58:55

How do you 'really really' control the imagery your toddler sees? Will you homeschool her? Are you also v controlling over what she hears and how do you manage that now and what happens in the future when she experiences things without you, or will that not happen?

Doublebubblebubble Sat 19-Dec-15 09:59:09

Yabu (a bit) my best friend had music videos on constantly and certainly from when Her eldest dd9 was apparently too young to understand... Anyway that DD9 (my goddaughter!!) was grinding against people dancing provocatively. I called her out on it - best friend now sticks the radio on! Obviously you cant protect them from everything they see and hear x

Ohbehave1 Sat 19-Dec-15 10:03:45

Of course, you could always let the kids watch them and explain why it's wrong - because they are going to want to know why mummy or daddy won't let them watch what their friends watch.

In my experience saying they can't only makes them want to more.

But I guess, as with everything in life, people would rather ban/ stop something than educate against it.

poocatcherchampion Sat 19-Dec-15 10:08:37

Its easy yo control images toddlers see. They aren't at school. It gets harder at pre school and then school - sadly!!

What is t&a?
I m in the yabu camp

rageagainsttheBIL Sat 19-Dec-15 10:10:42

I wouldn't do it as I'm not a fan of 99% of music vids or the music played on MTV most of the time, but I think YANBU.

Yes maybe something more age appropriate or even no tv at all would have been more wholesome but we're talking a one off here and the children were enjoying it.

Whoever suggested (sarcastically) Radio 3, whenever I try to put pop music on in the car my toddler says "I don't like this one, I want classical music"!

LovelyFriend Sat 19-Dec-15 11:05:15

Tits and Arse.

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