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To be shocked that I have not been given prior warning about my son's truely awful report

(54 Posts)
ReallyTired Fri 18-Dec-15 22:36:26

My son is extremely clumsy, uncoordinated and disorganised. He is also sweet natured, well behaved, tries hard and most his teachers had positive comments. Even his PE teacher found something nice to say inspite of the fact that performs at key stage 1 standard in year 9. His PE teacher appreciates that he really struggles, but does his best. Sometimes chikdren cannot help being low ablity.

His school report is very brief and there are too columns one for aspects worthy of praise and one fir cause for concern. His food tech and geography teacher left the praise column blank and gave him awful marks for attitude to learning and attainment. They had no problem with writing negative comments.

I feel shocked that my child is really so awful that there is nothing praiseworthy about him. I am upset that I have not been told sooner.
What I don't understand is why these teachers have not used the school's consequence system to displine him or contacted me if my son is so vile.

A school report should not contain nasty surprises.

Savagebeauty Fri 18-Dec-15 22:38:34

Have you had a parents evening this term?
What was his report like last time?

pasbeaucoupdegendarme Fri 18-Dec-15 22:40:37

You are right that a school report should not contain nasty surprises.

It's pretty shocking that those teachers left those columns blank - I'd contact them/his tutor/ other appropriate teacher in the new year, not to go in all guns blazing but just to ask them to explain what the problems are.

rednsparkley Fri 18-Dec-15 22:44:25

YANBU - I would expect to already know that my child was having difficulties that resulted in such a report. Is there a section of the report that allows you to ask for a feedback meeting? Even if there isn´t I would be requesting one as soon as possible.

I am sure your DS is not vile, the teachers involved should have tried harder to find something to praise (even the most awful child - which I am sure your DS is not - has some redeeming feature surely)

FWIW, my DS1 was given a report in Y4 that stated he was sullen and unco-operative, difficult and obstructive. He and the teacher just did not get on and also DS1 is now being assessed for ASD which may have presented as some of the traits they didn´t like.

mygrandchildrenrock Fri 18-Dec-15 22:44:31

Oh dear, but you are quite right that a school report should not contain any nasty surprises. My youngest son sounds similar to yours with physical difficulties and always got an A for effort in PE even if his actual level/grade was low.
Try not to be too upset about it and contact school in the New Year to ask what support they are putting in place to help your son with his difficulties.

WorraLiberty Fri 18-Dec-15 22:45:18

Leaving columns blank is a really shitty thing to do.

But if my son is so vile is a complete over reaction and I hope your DS hasn't picked up on you thinking that way?

I'm surprised kids would be sent home with reports of any kind right before Christmas.

I'd make an appointment in the new year as soon as the kids go back, and try to put it out of your mind for now (easier said than done, I know).

starburst1979 Fri 18-Dec-15 22:46:19

We've just had the same subject reports for my year 9 DS. He's dyslexic (recently diagnosed) so works at around a year 5 level. Got good effort grades but his attainment was as low as expected. But his home ec teacher gave him the lowest score in both. He's said for some time that him and the teacher don't get on, but I've never had a call, and at parents evening, nothing was mentioned. I have contacted the teacher and I'm still waiting for a call back a week later. So frustrating.

ReallyTired Fri 18-Dec-15 22:47:11

Parents evening is not until February. I don't think it's acceptable to wait half a term to discuss a report.

His report last time was much better. He won't be doing food tech again this year (or ever) because he is moving on to woodwork with a different teacher. He will have the same geography teacher.

I am planning to contact his head of year in the new year to ask what I can do to support his teachers.

cardibach Fri 18-Dec-15 22:47:47

It's not a 'truly awful' report - two subjects are poor. I'd agree you should broadly know what the report will say as serious issues should be raised with you early on (although it is quite early in the year). However I disagree about 'no surprises'. If it's all stuff you already know, what on earth is the point of the teachers spending hours writing the thing?
I do agree that there is something positive to say about all pupils if you look hard enough.

Hatethis22 Fri 18-Dec-15 22:49:15

That's ridiculous. I'd follow pasbeaucoupdegendarme's advice but I'd be fuming. How are you supposed work with the school to support his education when they don't bother to communicate with you?

ladygracie Fri 18-Dec-15 22:51:32

My son just got his report and it was a new format with glitches in. Could that be the case here? The report should have been checked by at least one person (if not more) before it came home and so the missing section should have been picked up.

cardibach Fri 18-Dec-15 22:52:28

ReallyTired as a teacher I'd prefer parents evening not to be a discussion of the report. If they are timetabled a long way apart it's to give two separate opportunities to report in progress etc. If you need to discuss a report, make an appointment.

JenniferYellowHat1980 Fri 18-Dec-15 22:52:45

That is very bad form. Apart from in the cases of students with an exceptionally poor attitude to learning, I always find twice as much to praise as to set as a target improvement - and even in the most difficult cases, the two are always evenly balanced.

JenniferYellowHat1980 Fri 18-Dec-15 22:53:29

for improvement.

Hatethis22 Fri 18-Dec-15 22:53:44

Does he have dyspraxia?

NomNomDePlum Fri 18-Dec-15 22:56:49

was his report okay last time? is he behaving poorly or just not managing in class? do you think his confidence has been knocked by being uncooordinated and disorganised and he is reacting to this?

my dd is currently being assessed and we are sort of expecting a dyspraxia diagnosis - she has poor fine motor skills and is very disorganised. i don't know if you have thought about things in this way. i am hoping that the occupational therapy that would come with a diagnosis will help her to cope, but also that understanding that there are particular things she finds difficult as opposed to cannot be bothered with will help us, her and school and hopefully prevent impacts on her confidence. obviously i don't know if this would be relevant for your son, but just in case you don't know about dyspraxia, it can impact co-ordination, organisational skills, memory.

ReallyTired Fri 18-Dec-15 23:02:51

I believe my son is dyspraxic, but when he was assessed as a tot the community paediatrician thought his speech and social skills were too good to be dyspraxic. He struggled with development of gross and fine motor skills to the extent of having occupational therapy and physio to help him learn to walk. My son has refused a second assessment for dyspraxia. There is little I can do as at the age of 13 he is gillick competent.

ReallyTired Fri 18-Dec-15 23:06:18

I sometimes wonder if my son has very mild brain damage from a 33 hour labour.

NomNomDePlum Fri 18-Dec-15 23:09:43

i'm really sorry, that totally sounds like the paediatrician was just wrong. there's huge variation in dyspraxia presentation as far as i can work out, ludicrous to dismiss it where there are clear impairments to motor functions.

ReallyTired Fri 18-Dec-15 23:14:15

The paedriatrian never made a diagnosis. There is a tiny possibility that my son had extremely mild cerabral palsy. He has never had an mri scan, but he did have 18 months of physio and orthotics as a toddler. Recently he had adult physio who has given exercises to stretch tendons and improve balance.

Mmmmcake123 Fri 18-Dec-15 23:15:45

I find it annoying that a diagnosis is sometimes needed and that without a categorisation a teacher would simply assume there is nothing good to say. I know it is only 1 term in but teachers should be looking for positives in each student in order to engage with them IMO
I think by high school they really don't realise how upsetting it is for a parent to receive a report like this and by year 11 often wonder why parents are no longer engaged.
flowers and cake
Sorry to rant, contact them individually and tell them what he needs to work well. I would include 'a bit of encouragement', it's obvious but clearly they are not getting that.

Damselindestress Fri 18-Dec-15 23:18:36

Dyspraxia was my first thought too. Being clumsy, uncoordinated and disorganised are all symptoms. I have Dyspraxia and really struggled at school before it was diagnosed. I had a dreadful teacher who was convinced that I couldn't complete work because I wasn't trying, when in fact I was desperately struggling with organisation, handwriting and hand eye co-ordination. My work massively improved the following year with a diagnosis, accommodations and a different teacher. It is difficult to get a diagnosis if your DS won't co-operate though. I really feel for him, at that age you just don't want to be different from your peers. The teachers were wrong to leave the praise column of the report blank, that doesn't sound constructive. It's also worrying that you weren't informed about their concerns before. If your son has an issue that is being dismissed by his teachers I can understand why he would feel frustrated and disengage, which could be interpreted by them as a poor attitude to learning. I would definitely discuss the report with them and see what support can be put in place.

Mmmmcake123 Fri 18-Dec-15 23:20:40

Was labour at the same hospital as subsequent investigation into issues when he was younger?
I too have wondered whether poor decisions during labour can lead to neurodevelopmental delays.

LyndaNotLinda Fri 18-Dec-15 23:28:09

My son has exceptional language skills and his social skills aren't too bad but he is severely dyspraxic.

Schools can put children on the SEN register even without a diagnosis. In any event, teachers should try and find something positive to say about every single student. I would make appointments with both of them. And the head of year. I think that's massively unacceptable.

Aeroflotgirl Fri 18-Dec-15 23:54:11

reall, if your ds is in year 9, and doing ks1, he needs an Ehcp, that is a big gap, e needs a lot of support. What support has te school got in place for him? Are they applying for an Ehcp! You need a meeting with the senco and head of year. The school are failing him, sound awful, what a nasty thing to do, nt listing any positive.

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