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To do a 10 mile round trip to drop off DS' forgotten schoolwork?

(52 Posts)
ChipsandGuac Fri 18-Dec-15 16:48:12

DS is 11 and not the most organised child on the planet. Imagine a bit of a mad professor type in an 11yo body.

Anyway, this morning he left his folder containing all his schoolwork in DHs car after DH gave him a ride to the bus stop. DH didn't see it until he arrived at the station and parked his car.

DH called me at home and I drove over to the station with the spare key, picked it up and went onto the school to drop it off and went home, a 10 mile round trip in all.

I kind of thought it was the kind thing to do but when I mentioned it to my friend, she suggested I was bonkers and that DS should have had to suffer the consequences of his lack of organization. That hadn't occurred to me.

So I figured I'd ask you lot.

NickiFury Fri 18-Dec-15 16:49:27

I would, but you'll get loads of "he's got to learn!" responses.

NickNacks Fri 18-Dec-15 16:50:12

I have done the same for mine in the past. The round trip is about the same.

AlbertaWildRose Fri 18-Dec-15 16:50:44

I'm afraid I agree with your friend. It's definitely hard to watch our children fail due to lack of organization, but it's the only way for them to learn. If parents constantly bail our their children, kids will never learn to take care of themselves and be responsible.

AlbertaWildRose Fri 18-Dec-15 16:52:56

Oops. Bail 'out'.

Potterwolfie Fri 18-Dec-15 16:53:25

As a parent, it's our job to help them until they can help themselves; you did a lovely thing and hopefully your son appreciates you!

If he's a repeat offender then maybe he does need to learn by suffering the consequences, but not for a one off. Worth talking to him about being more organised though.

originalmavis Fri 18-Dec-15 16:54:54

I've done it with shinpads for a fixture.

BathshebaDarkstone Fri 18-Dec-15 16:54:56

I would have because it would have been nagging at me all day otherwise. DD's like that at 8 and I can't see her improving. She has a notice on the back of her bedroom door:
Monday: PE kit
Friday: Homework

NickiFury Fri 18-Dec-15 16:55:31

To my mind, there's kinder ways to teach that lesson to your child. For example it wouldn't happen again because I would remember and drum into him "have you got everything?" every time he left the car, till he was sick of hearing it, he'd learn to remember over time. If I would do it for a friend or partner then I will do it for my child. They're still developing organisational and practical planning skills at that age. I think it's just a bit mean to not help your child in the described situation.

SoupDragon Fri 18-Dec-15 16:57:25

It depends. I tend to bail mine out occasionally, but not every time they forget something. That way they know that I will be there if they really need me.

SoupDragon Fri 18-Dec-15 16:58:01

If they keep doing it, I refuse though.

Goingtobeawesome Fri 18-Dec-15 16:59:44

I'd do it. I run around after mine far too much but it's my job. Now that school have said let DS get into trouble, don't go home, we know you are a good mum, I would think twice but probably do it the majority of the time.

patterkiller Fri 18-Dec-15 17:00:18

I have done it but they know not to expect it or for it to be a given. Depends what I'm doing, how busy I am how grumpy I am

WorraLiberty Fri 18-Dec-15 17:10:24

I would have done it as a one-off as he's still only 11 and as long as he really appreciated it.

Be careful not to make excuses for him though, with the 'mad professor' type of comments.

He needs to learn just like we all had to.

ChipsandGuac Fri 18-Dec-15 17:11:36

This is no good! This is my first AIBU and I was expecting a roasting! grin

It's good to know others would do the same. It contained everything he needed for the day, except for Spanish, so without it his day would have been useless. We did try him having 3 separate binders but he kept losing them in the nuclear waste hazard that is his locker, so stuck with one.

timeforabrewnow Fri 18-Dec-15 17:11:46

A 10 mile round trip? No way. Unless it was GCSE coursework! I'm quite harsh though -after having had a forgetful and disorganised DS2 for many years. He is 15 now, and pretty much remembers everything.

Don't start it as a precedent, but it's probably okay if it's a one-off.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Fri 18-Dec-15 17:13:02


He's 11, he needs to take responsibility

ChipsandGuac Fri 18-Dec-15 17:14:11

He definitely appreciated it. He sent me a text to tell me how much. To which I replied, "I see you didn't forget your phone" hmm

BlackeyedSusan Fri 18-Dec-15 17:15:41

possibly at 11 but not by 13. I would not make a habit of it though.

biscuitkumquat Fri 18-Dec-15 17:18:48

I would have & have done exactly the same.

Now, I make him get ready for bed 10 minutes early, make sure he's got his full uniform ready & bring me his homework book & go through what he needs for the next day.

He really doesn't like giving up his 10 minutes before bed, but I've explained the reason why. I'm hoping that in the next few months it will have become a habit & he won't forget important stuff.

BUT, none of us are perfect, and we all forget things.

daisychain01 Fri 18-Dec-15 17:21:02

We've operated a "2 strikes and you're out" policy.

First time, fair enough
second time, come on this is not good enough but OK we'll let you off,even th this is the 2nd time you've wasted our time chasing around the county because you insist on not preparing your stuff at night.
3rd time, nope not bailing you out anymore, suffer the consequences

Tough love. It works but it huuuuurts sad

noblegiraffe Fri 18-Dec-15 17:25:24

Bonkers. I'm a secondary teacher and it drives me mad when students say 'I've forgotten my homework but if you just let me text my mum she'll bring it in for you'. No you bloody won't, your mum undoubtedly has better things to do than run around after you and I will be marking it as a late homework regardless so she might as well stay at home.

noblegiraffe Fri 18-Dec-15 17:29:42

It's never "I'll text my dad" either, it's always poor old mum who has to jump to it.

ChipsandGuac Fri 18-Dec-15 17:33:14

noble I'm not how sure how far lying in bed, shouting at Donald Trump on the tv constitutes as better things to do grin

landrover Fri 18-Dec-15 17:33:42

Im a big softee, but I suspect very few high schools today had their kids doing any work! So I certainly wouldn't have done it today! smile

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