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So I've just been told to bugger off but who's unreasonable

(41 Posts)
NaughtToThreeSadOnions Fri 18-Dec-15 13:58:06

I have just back to the UK after seeing my goddaughter Christmas show last night that's not strictly that relivent but I'm tired haven't eaten since I left ireland this morning so I thought I'd pop in to my local well known pub chain for a fairly cheap lunch.
Any way the pub is fairly empty so I sat at the bearest dee booth, I prefer the booths I left my coat there, you have to have a table to order food. . Any way I go to the bar order my lunch and get a drink, when I come back there's a bloke standing he is on his own and the pub has plenty of four/6 place setting tables in case he's being joined by someone.and he says is "is there any one sitting here love?!" So I resist the temptation to go well me, and politely say "well no but I'd rather sit alone please" I don't know this man. He asks again so "I say sorry I've just ordered my lunch" as I've given them this table number for the order I can't really move. To which he replies "well if you want to eat there's plenty of other tables" yes I can see that but this the one I've chosen.
I did I'm afriad reply with "well there's plenty of other tables for you to sit at too"
he then told me to bugger off.

So Aibu for wanting to enjoy my lunch in the relative piece and quiet? Why do people feel the need to join can mole te strangers I'd understand if it was a bar or comfy seating but this booth is in what is the more seperate restraunt part of the pub the tables are set out for dining rather than social drinking. away from the bar and nearer the kitchen.

Arfarfanarf Fri 18-Dec-15 14:01:24

I hope you did not bugger off!

bigbuttons Fri 18-Dec-15 14:02:44

he's a dick.

Leelu6 Fri 18-Dec-15 14:10:24

YANBU at all. Glad you didn't back down.

DH and I were sitting at a table for 4 people in a half full Nandos the other day.

Two ladies (mum and daughter I think) asked if they could sit at our table. DH and I were bewildered but I automatically starting removing my bag and coat from the empty chair. Suddenly I inadvertently started laughing and said there are plenty of free tables.

At that point they saw a couple they knew and sat with them. I wasn't that bothered, they could have sat there, it was just weird.

BumWad Fri 18-Dec-15 14:13:14

Weird! Why would you want to have a meal with a complete stranger? YADNBU!

RudeElf Fri 18-Dec-15 14:14:13

Wow that is odd behaviour from him. I wonder if it was his "usual" table. Even so, he surely must know its not normal in an empty place to join someone else's table. Especially after they've specified they dont want you to.

Whoknewitcouldbeso Fri 18-Dec-15 14:15:03

I wonder if he is one of those people that frequents establishments and have a favourite chair or table.

Jw35 Fri 18-Dec-15 14:17:22

That's weird! When I went to Bavaria though there were long benches in a pub and people would sit next to you even with empty tables. It was nice actually in that environment in holiday.

KinkyAfro Fri 18-Dec-15 14:17:51

If there were plenty of tables available he was being a dick

ThumbWitchesAbroad Fri 18-Dec-15 14:17:53

God people are weird. YANBU, he's a dick, so he wanted the booth too, too fucking bad, should have got there earlier and bagsed it himself, shouldn't he.

A friend of mine was on the late train home the other night, carriage virtually empty, her and maybe 2 other people on it, and someone got on and sat right fucking next to her. WHY?? They didn't try to talk to her or anything, just sat there, but why? Why not sit in one of the numerous empty seats? Weird.

goodnightdarthvader1 Fri 18-Dec-15 14:17:58

Maybe he was hoping to chat you up. Which is weird and creepy. YANBU.

Hoppinggreen Fri 18-Dec-15 14:27:39

A mean lady wouldn't let me sit with her in Costa yesterday!
She had a table for 4 and I politely asked if I could share the table nd she replied that I couldn't because her husband was joining her and they didn't want anyone sitting with them ( weird).
I could have argued but I spotted another table and frankly I didn't want to sit where I wasn't welcome so I flounced off and sat with a lovely lady and her grandson instead and we had a nice chat ( told her about the meanie on the other table)
On my way out the lady was sitting with her husband and 2 blokes were sharing her table, she hd a cats bum face so I flashed her a big smile on my way past

NaughtToThreeSadOnions Fri 18-Dec-15 14:48:44

Sorry hopping why is it weird that they don't want any one else sitting with them. I would have thought that was perfectly normal for a couple to want to have a nice chat without sharing their business with complete strangers.

I'm a bit weird about personal space. partly just spending a lot of time alone partly Aspergers so after he told me to bugger off I wondered if it was just me being very picky. I try and get q seat to myself on a train and bus.

I also worry about the bagying ettoquite but it's hard when your on your own.

Like I say it's quiet there were 4 or five tables free in the bar and about 5 just opposite me in the more restaurant area. I was hoping that the mention of food would persuade him that it was normal for people not to want to have w complete stranger join them for a meal but he seemed to think I should move. I most definitely didn't:

jw that's slightly different though o think it's thecwat the tables were set out, my friend and I went to restruant in london with bench tables like that and it was just accepted that you shared a table. And on holiday it's a nice way of getting to know people on the resort I guess.
I just thought the sorry id rather be on my own woukd be enough.

theycallmemellojello Fri 18-Dec-15 14:51:18

I sometimes share tables in a café, but would never ask if there were other tables free, and also would respect someone's answer if they said no when I asked!

MontyYouTerribleCunt Fri 18-Dec-15 14:55:18

Yanbu. I don't like sharing a table with people I don't know unless it's really busy, in which case it makes sense. Why would you share when it's quiet? Strange.

InternalMonologue Fri 18-Dec-15 14:59:29

YANBU if there were plenty of other seats to sit at.

Leelu What?!?! Even on it's quietest day I've never been able to just waltz up to any old table and plonk myself down in a Nandos. How did they get past the person on the door??

Garlick Fri 18-Dec-15 15:26:44

OP, there was a thread last week about people parking next to the only other car in an empty lot. It expanded into folks doing exactly what you've described, jostling to get through two of the five open gates, and so on.

Most Some folks just seem programmed to follow others, regardless of facts, context or common sense.

confused

DeoGratias Fri 18-Dec-15 15:29:28

Most of us English people would prefer stranges not to join our table. Other cultures differ on this.

It is amazing at the beach too how if you have the whole beach to yourself some idiot will turn up and set up their towels right by you when they could have been miles away. Dreadful.

It's a Wetherspoons, right? grin

You were definitely sat in 'his' seat then. Probably spends 8hrs a day there, you could've seen his bum imprint on it if you'd looked closer...!

goodnightdarthvader1 Fri 18-Dec-15 17:53:21

Hopping, sorry, but the lady was NOT the weird one in your situation. You actually seemed to be seeking people out who you could 'have a chat' with. Not everyone wants to entertain a stranger when they're out for a coffee / lunch confused

PeteAndManu Fri 18-Dec-15 18:16:32

I assumed that there were no free tables on Costa so Hopping had to share with someone.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions Fri 18-Dec-15 18:28:42

Well that might be the case but it's the fact she called the lady who didn't want to share a table weird and she thought it was so weird in fact that she took joy in the fact completely normal lady that said no ended up sharing!

goodnightdarthvader1 Fri 18-Dec-15 18:32:33

Indeed. If I asked to share a table and someone said no, I would totally understand, not bitch to other people about what a "meanie" they were.

EponasWildDaughter Fri 18-Dec-15 18:48:50

Maybe the woman was going to talk to her husband about very serious, sad, personal or important hopping. And she didn't want an eves-dropper.

Olddear Fri 18-Dec-15 20:18:45

So, she took him to the cafe in Costco to tell him she had three months to live?

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