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to wish my friend would for once just say 'yeah that sounds shit'.

(8 Posts)
Junosmum Thu 17-Dec-15 22:46:01

I have a friend, she considers herself a good friend. She lives a long way away (several hours by car or PT) so we rarely see each other.

I rarely hear from her unless she's had some catastrophe or alternatively some amazing news, she never calls/ texts just to see how I am (I call and text her to ask). When she does call I always sympathize/ commiserate/ congratulate/ support/ offer help as required etc - I've given relationship advice, written CVs for her, done interview prep etc etc.

She's recently given birth- she got HELPP, it was horrid, she was in hospital for 9 days. She and baby are doing well now, 12 or so weeks later.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant, I have a UTI, a tooth abscess and generally feel a bit crap. She text me asking how I was and telling me her partner had got a promotion (she often gloats about how much he earns etc), I texted back 'congratulations to blah blah, sounds like a good move for him. I feel crap, got a UTI and abscess'. She responded with 'well that's better than HELPP'.

She does this all the time, constantly one upping - if my DH has got a new job, her DP earns more (the fact that we have a better combined income and share finances more equally and own our own house don't enter her head), if I have a cold she has flu, if DH and I have had a row, she and DP had a bigger one. DH's gran passed away, she couldn't even say 'oh, how sad', just yeah, my mum is ill (with a cold).

I should ditch her shouldn't I? Right now I can't think of a redeeming feature of this friendship.

CocktailQueen Thu 17-Dec-15 22:47:20

Yep, I'd ditch her. She doesn't add anything positive to your life.

cailindana Thu 17-Dec-15 22:48:13

Yup, ditch.

VenusRising Thu 17-Dec-15 22:51:20

Juno, that sounds shit!
I hope you are feeling much better soon, and have an easy and pleasant birth, and speedy recovery.

I'd not be much interested in keeping up the relationship with that competative woman TBH. It sounds you put a lot of work in for little return.
I hope it all works out for you.
Look after yourself!

overwhelmed34 Thu 17-Dec-15 22:51:21

Yes ditch her. Or at least don't chase her to see how she's doing..
And it does sound shit. Poor you. Have some chocolatecakebrew and feel better soon.xx

SanityClause Thu 17-Dec-15 22:52:50

And if you go to Tenerife, she's been to Elevenerife...

Do the texting equivalent of nodding and smiling. If she tells you about her DH's promotion, send a smiley. If she tells you about her mother's cold, send a sad face. Tell her nothing about yourself. She'll soon get bored.

Morecheesegrommet Thu 17-Dec-15 22:55:47

Ditch - no one needs a friend like this.

TeaFathers Thu 17-Dec-15 22:55:51

Elevenerife grin
yeah - ditch her. she sounds like a tool.

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