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AIBU?

Aibu to think there is no going back from this?!

20 replies

RememberRioAndGetDown · 17/12/2015 19:16

Had pretty awkward second date. Went out for sober dinner (so no Dutch courage to ease things along!) then back to his to watch programme we both like. We were both tired and hungover from previous night Xmas party. Was quite awkward as just sat on his bed, bright lights on, sipping our hot drinks together (he's staying in a hotel) when we don't know each other that well yet. He cuddled up but I just couldn't, I'm not a prude or generally awkward but it just felt too weird and contrived and the atmosphere was all wrong Finally when he walked me back to my car and went in for the kiss I misunderstood/panicked and fucking pecked him on both cheeks twice The continental way.

There's no going back from this is there!!

Irony is I do like him, I just think the circumstances were all wrong.

Aib to chalk it up to you live and you learn?! Also does the fact conversation was a bit stilted mean anything? It flowed better when we had had a few drinks the previous night, plus I think had a lot to do with the fact we saw each other two nights in a row (not something I would normally do, exceptional circumstances)...

He implied a lot that he wanted to see me again but is pretty shy! I have texted to suggest we do something "soon" but he has agreed whilst being noncommittal - this isn't going to go anywhere is it!

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SquareRootOfPie · 17/12/2015 19:21

No advice but I find second dates more stressful! I breeze in to the first date. SEcond, there seems more at stake.

I'd text him in a few days. Did you enjoy the sober dinner though? were you relaxed in his company?

I can understand why watching a mundane tv show in his hotel room felt awkward though.

RememberRioAndGetDown · 17/12/2015 19:41

SquareRoot - hmm not sure!! I was nervous so wittering away and he was quite quiet but laughing politely at the right times etc. He mentioned that he's enjoyed my company but I don't know if he genuinely thought that. I would like to see him in a more relaxed setting if poss once more just to see if we can both loosen up a bit. I think neither of us was on form, he admitted tipsily on first date that he's shy around girls and I was def nervous too both times

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RememberRioAndGetDown · 17/12/2015 19:43

Hmm thing is I have texted twice now - once to say we should do something again (he replied to this), second to specify dates (he hasn't replied to this)! Don't feel like there's much more that can be done

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InTheBox · 17/12/2015 19:47

From what you've written I can't see what there is exactly that you "can't go back to". Don't text him again until he replies and perhaps calm down a bit - you're overthinking it.

RememberRioAndGetDown · 17/12/2015 19:50

Ok thanks inthebox - I just meant that things are a bit awkward now! I wish second date hadn't unfolded in that way really!

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InTheBox · 17/12/2015 19:56

FWIW I think you might be in with some luck with Xmas and New Year round the corner - there's a brilliant excuse to text to test the waters.

Think of it like this; if it all goes well then in years to come you might very well find yourselves looking back at the awkward second date with lots of laughter and nostalgia. In the mean time just play it cool and calm, keep a level head and don't get too heavily invested too soon.

CarlaJones · 17/12/2015 20:04

I don't think there's no going back. Wait for him to reply though. Don't send any more texts.
Loved your description of how you "fucking pecked him on both cheeks" though.

Andylion · 17/12/2015 20:09

He implied a lot that he wanted to see me again but is pretty shy! I have texted to suggest we do something "soon" but he has agreed whilst being noncommittal -
Ok, maybe he saw your first text as a kind, brush-off, because you used the word "soon" instead of suggesting something specific, hence his non-committal reply. Wait to see if he replied to your second text which was more specific.

RememberRioAndGetDown · 17/12/2015 20:10

Carla - I felt like a parody of myself!! You know when you can just imagine how it looks to someone else, and you just think ohhhh god this is so awkward as you're doing it At least I didn't handshake I guess. small mercies

I have a feeling he won't reply! Not the biggest thing in the world but it's a shame as the first date was pretty good I think but then again there weren't huuge amounts of chemistry - lesson learnt

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RememberRioAndGetDown · 17/12/2015 20:12

Andy - yeah good point. I just said I'd be in his city in early Jan so to let me know his plans. His cue I guess to read between the lines and ask about specific dates? Ha this is all so awkward. Why can't these things be easy and seamless

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poocatcherchampion · 17/12/2015 20:15

Reminds me of my early dates with dh. Very polite activity.

We are now eating a random collection of leftovers while our children muck around in our beds.

I vote yay!

RememberRioAndGetDown · 17/12/2015 20:19

Haha sounds amazing poocatcher

Yeah polite is so the watchword of my little saga!! We're both so polite It makes me really really want something weird to happen so the ice can be broken!

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Goingtobeawesome · 17/12/2015 20:48

Why the two separate threads about this?

RememberRioAndGetDown · 17/12/2015 21:07

Sorry, I wanted to tell the whole story, embarrassing deets and all! In fairness I'm off sick from work and so MNning in between watching reruns of peep show living the dream

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poocatcherchampion · 17/12/2015 21:11

Ha! He is really. We are no longer polite

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 17/12/2015 21:21

Would have been easier to add to the original thread...

Want2bSupermum · 17/12/2015 21:42

The set up of the date is what was wrong. I would have been very uncomfortable with that date too. Next time, watching something in a hotel room does not make a good date. Do something else in a public space where you can get to know each other instead and see how it goes.

RememberRioAndGetDown · 17/12/2015 21:45

I know, totally agree supermum!

Neither of us wanted to have more to eat though or go to a bar (long story) and then he suggested watching programme at his... I didn't want to decline as seemed churlish but it was def a bad idea!

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Want2bSupermum · 17/12/2015 21:52

Well lesson learned. Next time go for a walk...even if it is raining. I can't imagine anything more awkward than a hotel room a 2nd date!!

RudeElf · 17/12/2015 21:56

Op remember on the other thread when i said you need to relax and not get overthinky? hows that going?

But seriously, RELAX!! You are giving waaaay too much thought and energy over to what sounds like a really crap date with little sign of a repeat.

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