My sister is a lovely woman, giving and generous. She is a SAHM
and her husband earns just enough to support the family. Money is tight for them. We meet once or twice a week and go shopping. Since November she has been buying left and right - for everyone and anyone she knows. We are not talking about £3 gifts but £10-15 a time.
Finally her husband (who is lovely) sent her a text yesterday saying there is only £90 left to last til pay day on 27th and to please stop spending or there is nothing left to spend for food. She got very annoyed and angry at him. She texted that he knows she spends a lot at Christmas and he should have budgeted their money better and told her how much there was before she went out that day! She admitted she felt bad for stressing him like that but went on to spend another £20 on two more 'final gifts'.
Its like she gets a high from buying gifts, from wrapping them up and giving them. She doesn't expect anything. I know they got rid of all of their credit cards a year ago and are on a cash basis. Let me get this clear - she doesn't have any very close friends or family in the area (other than me), yet her 'gift' list extend to about 27 people. This includes the ladies at the school office, hairdresser, people at church she hardly knows, the friendly barista at our regular coffee shop, people who invited her out to coffee once, the neighbour that said hello once, the one that really took the biscuit was another mother's child minder who 'always waves to me' and 'the usher at church who is always so welcoming' (er - its his job to welcome people!!!!). Her Christmas card list extends to over a 100 - all very expensive charity cards.
I did gently try to tell her she is stressing her husband and buying unnecessarily. Every time I said 'why don't you buy something cheaper' she responds that it is too shameful to give a cheap present. She is so proud and prim and proper!
She has always been like that though, she gives and gives well (even when it was her own money - she once racked up a huge credit card bill - paid off by her husband shortly after they married). She doesn't expect anything, but if you give something, it better be high quality or she will literally chuck it.
Please don't get me wrong, I make out like she is a spoilt brat and she isn't. She is the wisest, kindest and loveliest person I know and my best friend as well as sister. She is just unrealistic in her spending power! She spends as if her husband earns £100k, but he earns half that. She is always optimistic - her nickname is pollyanna. When I ask if she is just trying to make people like her, she insists she just simply enjoys giving and doesn't care two hoots if they like her or not or even reciprocate.
Am I being unreasonable to have a strong chat with her about it? Or should I leave it as it is just once a year?
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tell off my sister for giving too many gifts.
28 replies
lexlees · 16/12/2015 17:22
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