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AIBU?

about DCs and chewing gum ...again ...grrrr

24 replies

ihatevirginmobile · 16/12/2015 11:01

So DD2 is 8 - they can have chewing gum occasionally and supervised.
They have a friend who gets to go to the shop and buy themselves a 'treat'.
This keeps being chewing gum...normal sticky chewing gum - not hubba bubble or whatever.
When they are at activities etc together they give my DC some...we had an incident where my DD decided it was a good idea to put it in the top of their sock..and forgot about it and took their socks off lying on the sofa ...we ended up with not only a ruined pair of socks but also they got it on the sofa and I had to spent ages scrapping it off...
DD was out at a Christmas activity till late last night- straight home to bed and struggled to get up this morning for school (left sleeping till last minute) ...no time for a shower etc. I was brushing her hair this morning and discovered they had a lump of chewing gum in it...got it all over her brush and had to cut some out of her hair after struggling for a while.
Same DC had given them it - DD swears she put hers in the bin..(it is fruity smelling stuff - so I know it isn't completely random stuff) - so not sure if it is my DD trying to cover her tracks, the other DC being careless or in fact one of their friends being careless if it was shared around - but I really didn't need the hassle/have the time this morning.
So AIBU to think you shouldn't allow your 8 yo DC to have chewing gum without supervision - or rather allow them to take it somewhere where they can give it to other DCs without any supervision?
(I am thinking about having a word with their parent ...but maybe I'm over reacting)

OP posts:

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WorraLiberty · 16/12/2015 11:05

Why are you blaming the other DC, because yours can't chew gum without something untoward happening?

Just tell her she's not allowed any until she's more responsible with it.

DoreenLethal · 16/12/2015 11:07

Have a word with your kids!

'You are not allowed chewing gum unless I say it is ok'.

ihatevirginmobile · 16/12/2015 11:14

But from what she has said she put hers in the bin...so the stuff in her hair came from somewhere else...and if it was shared out with several DCs it could have come from anywhere - in a group of nearly 30 over excited around 8 yos....
I can tell my Dc not to take it ...not sure if they would obey me - and they are generally obedient. I can't imagine many DCs of a similar age would turn the offer or of chocolate or crisps etc if they thought their parent would never know...

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TimeToMuskUp · 16/12/2015 11:18

Mine aren't allowed it and (to my knowledge) haven't ever defied the rule. I'm fine with sweets and crisps generally, just not that. Feel your pain, though; DS1 trod in some outside and walked it up three stairs, which had just been recarpeted. I cried for weeks a few minutes.

landrover · 16/12/2015 11:23

Absolutely banned in our house, nobody allowed ever!!!!!!

MammaTJ · 16/12/2015 11:25

But from what she has said she put hers in the bin.

Ah well, then you must stop anyone else from having any around your perfect child!

Actually, if you spoke to me and asked me not to let my DC have chewing gum around yours, I would know think you were bonkers!

reni2 · 16/12/2015 11:26

I find gum disgusting and ban it as long as I can. It was certainly banned at 8. At 16, fine if I don't see it. I find human ruminating gross.

WorraLiberty · 16/12/2015 11:33

I'm sorry but I think this lies with your DC.

She has to learn to be more careful whether she takes the gum and disobeys you or not.

It could just as easily have been a toffee or a Chewit in her hair, and you can't stop all the children around her from chewing sweets.

OurBlanche · 16/12/2015 11:34

a. Make her clean anything she gets it on. If you do it she has no reason to learn from her mistakes.
b. Stop being such a pushover. She is 8 and knows that gum is banned - and now should have some idea why.
c. Stop blaming the other kid. She isn't bringing it in to your home and smearing your furniture or DD with the stuff, your DD is doing that herself.

It is easy really. In the absence of dangerous outcomes: child makes a mistake: child deals with the consequences of that mistake; child learns to modify behavior.

diddl · 16/12/2015 11:38

So you think some other chid stuck chewing gum on your daughter or in her hair?

Why don't you let your daughter have it?

Because she can't be trusted with it?

I mean she's 8-surely old enough to know to put it straight in the bin when she has finished with i?

Higge · 16/12/2015 11:41

I think you are being a bit OTT. Chewing gum is a novelty, they get over it. If you decide you wish to ban it - tell your own child not to accept a piece.

Gottagetmoving · 16/12/2015 11:42

The only issue here is with you and your child.
You need to make it clear about your rules regarding gum and give consequences if the rules are not followed.
Mind you, your child will probably totally ignore your rules if she is out of the house and a friend gives her gum. I know I did.

wigglesrock · 16/12/2015 11:51

I've an 8 year old - chewing gum is top of the list of her favourite things, she has it occasionally. She's never got it stuck on her foot/hair/shoe etc - have to say if you had a word with me about what I allow my child to have because yours is incapable of not faffing about I'd inwardly roll my eyes and it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference to whether or not I allowed my child to have it.

ihatevirginmobile · 16/12/2015 11:56

I don't think my DDs is perfect...far from it. She did seem surprised when I said I thought it was chewing gum - and quite convincing about wrapping in a sweet wrapper and putting it the loo bin... (Then I asked her where she got it from...already having a pretty good idea).
I just think 8 is too young to have it unsupervised. And worse when it is a group of them - yes I do think it could have come from another DCs carelessness - not deliberate (I hope not at least). I wouldn't let her go to an activity like this with chewing gum.
And chewing gum is different because you can't just wash it out - a chewit or a toffee or other sweet would have come out when I held the offending bit of hair under the tap...
Not even worried too much about her having a shorter bit of hair ...more that now I have the hassle of getting it out of her brush/comb ...and I didn't need it this morning.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 16/12/2015 12:16

She really does need to be more careful then.

I get that it's a pain, but you can't control the world around your DD.

ihatevirginmobile · 16/12/2015 12:29

I have decided I won't mention it to the other parent though - from the reaction I got on this thread
I don't care if their DC has gum - just please can they not bring it to these activities...
(actually I wonder if they are taking it into school too -surely that wouldn't go down well? )
I didn't mention the 'sock/sofa' incident cos that was completely my DCs fault/stupidity....but this...
And they do seem to be the only one who does have it at things like this...

OP posts:

Higge · 16/12/2015 13:09

My dc had gum everywhere - it wasn't an issue ever! I hate the bloody stuff but I'm not banning it or insisting that he only eats it in my company - in fact I'd rather he didn't eat it in front of me. Main thing is that a child should know how to dispose of it properly, after that you just wait till the novelty wears off.

Nataleejah · 16/12/2015 14:59

I just think 8 is too young to have it unsupervised
I think a healthy 8yo is big enough to know not to mess with it, like sticking it on things and stuff.

whois · 16/12/2015 15:03

Yeah, 8 is old enough to know to chew, then dispose in a tissue in the bin and not to go putting it in their sock... issue is your children can't be trusted not that this other child has chewing gum!

whois · 16/12/2015 15:04

Although last year one of our friends had got chewing gum on his jacket form somewhere, and that got on our leather sofa :-(

Ericaequites · 16/12/2015 15:57

Just say no gum ever. Gum is not necessary, and a very unattractive habit.

lexlees · 16/12/2015 16:38

I'm with everyone just ban gum - whether they are with you or not.

Find some horrific 'facts' about gum and share it with them - like what is made from and what it does to your mouth, your digestive system etc.

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ihatevirginmobile · 16/12/2015 19:05

nataleejah you might think an 8 yr is old enough to know not to stick it on things etc ...
But I think you should go and have a look around DD1s secondary school - minimum age 11.5 - have a look under the desks and chairs or in the toilets ...once someone had thoughtfully stuck a piece on the soap dispenser - on the bit you press to get soap...
whois - the sock thing happened after a different activity - the gum toting DC was chewing and was told they shouldn't have gum at that activity (they do have some expensive props that could be ruined if they got gum on them) and sent to get rid of it - DD2 thought she would be 'in trouble' too - not near a bin etc decided to stick it down her sock until she could sneak to a bin ...and then forgot - so she did know better but did something a bit (a lot) stupid....

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Thingsthatmakeugoummmm · 16/12/2015 21:23

Banned in my house too. I actually have a phobia about it. I think people look gormless when eating it. I can't stand near anyone chewing it and DC's respect that. I think it also helped that mother in law told them it was made from pig skin when they were younger :)

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