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To be upset that people think I'm boring just because I'm not loud?

(86 Posts)
ExesAndOhs Wed 16-Dec-15 09:25:10

A colleague at work yesterday said that he thinks I'm boring because I'm quiet.

I don't think I'm boring at all. I'm not loud, and I am fairly quiet until I've got to know someone a bit, but I chat, have opinions etc. I guess I'm just a bit reserved at first.

This isn't the first time that someone has described me as boring; a mum friend did a couple of years ago when a group of us went for a meal. She was going round the table saying what her first impressions were of everyone and she told me that her thoughts of me were that I'm boring, then she quipped "Nothing's changed then", and of course all of the others roared with laughter.

Why do people seem to rate super loud people so highly? AIBU to feel upset that people think I'm boring?

hiddenhome2 Wed 16-Dec-15 09:28:08

Bloody hell, they're rude aren't they? shock

Tell them that empty vessels make the most sound hmm

MyballsareSandy2015 Wed 16-Dec-15 09:29:25

Fuck that's rude!! Gob smacked

MackerelOfFact Wed 16-Dec-15 09:31:20

YANBU at all. People mistake me for being boring, humourless, even rude -purely because I make sure I actually have something to say before speaking. I used to be painfully shy and lacking in confidence, which I'm pleased to say I'm not any more (as of the last 3-4 years), but I have the self-awareness to realise that constant chattering about shit does not an interesting person make.

I really hate it when I hear people say 'she's really nice but she's quite quiet' - as if being quiet somehow mitigates the niceness.

As the saying goes, 'empty vessels make the most noise.'

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 16-Dec-15 09:33:38

That Mum friend was a bitch, I'd have been fucking angry to have been spoken about and laughed at.

ExesAndOhs Wed 16-Dec-15 09:36:03

Lots of people that I work with are super-loud, to the point of being very irritating with constant loud chatting, squealing, laughing etc.

Bloke who said I'm boring is cocky, full of himself, loud, gobby, thinks he's god's gift to women.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 16-Dec-15 09:36:26

I can't bear being near super loud people, all that 'look at me' crap, it's fucking annoying.

TheSecondViola Wed 16-Dec-15 09:36:49

Rude to say it. Really fucking rude to say it like that in front of people like that.

But when people say quiet as in boring they don't mean the opposite of loud. They mean you don't join in, you don't talk to people, and that can be hard work for the others because they have to do more. If everyone is "quiet" any social occasion would be x number of people sitting around in silence.
I am very far from loud but have never been described as boring.

BillBrysonsBeard Wed 16-Dec-15 09:38:24

YANBU, I am the same! Society wants extroverts. That mum was really rude, can't believe people come out with this stuff past the age of 10.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 16-Dec-15 09:39:02

You're not boring, the cocky git who belittled you is most likely unsettled that you've not succumbed to his 'charm' or laughed at his 'jokes'.

Most likely he's a knob.

CheekyMaleekey Wed 16-Dec-15 09:39:16

Yabu - maybe you are boring, loud or not. Most people aren't loud, but they're not seen as boring. For two people to call you boring, you probably are.

ExesAndOhs Wed 16-Dec-15 09:40:19

I do talk to people though Viola. I'm certainly not hard work to be around. I'm just not shrieky and gobby

Salmiak Wed 16-Dec-15 09:43:14

How fucking rude! I can come across as a bit shy initially and am generally crap at small talk. However this wears off as i get to know the people better.... Whereas people who are openly rude and insulting to others will probably always have moments where they are offensive twats.

I know what type of person I'd rather be, and am happy with my good solid friendships

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 16-Dec-15 09:43:35

Cheeky, how'd you work that outconfused don't be a bitch to the OP.

She's come across two people who sound like twats, are you a twat too?

Destinysdaughter Wed 16-Dec-15 09:43:36

You may be quiet but I bet you're thoughtful, observant, sensitive and a good listener. A lot of loud people are not. So sod them!

TheSecondViola Wed 16-Dec-15 09:44:21

Shrieky and gobby? If thats how you talk to/about people you hang out with, maybe they just don't like you.

Nectarines Wed 16-Dec-15 09:44:21

She went round the table and said her first impression of everyone??

Who does she think she is?

ExesAndOhs Wed 16-Dec-15 09:44:29

Ouch, Cheeky!

Whaleshark Wed 16-Dec-15 09:45:26

Your colleague is an arse. He doesn't sound like someone who's opinion is worth giving a seconds thought to.

chrome100 Wed 16-Dec-15 09:45:37

YANBU.

People have always said this to me and it really hurts.

It makes me totally lose any vestiges of self-confidence I may have had and question why I even bother trying.

I am blown away by how rude your mum "friend" was! shock

I find super loud people really annoying and also quite insincere, I'd much rather spend my time with quieter people, who aren't squealing and shouting the whole time.

CheekyMaleekey bit unnecessary hmm
So two people found the OP boring, I'm sure there are many more people who find her interesting and fun to be around!

BillBrysonsBeard Wed 16-Dec-15 09:45:59

People who actually vocalise they think you're boring, are really not worth listening to. Decent human beings think this stuff but would never say it. It's childish!

TheSecondViola Wed 16-Dec-15 09:49:04

What I don't get is one person made a comment to you, about you, and you turn that into the whole of society wants loud people and hates quiet people.
Bit narcissistic.

SquadGoals Wed 16-Dec-15 09:49:32

How rude!

I'd much rather be boring and happy, than loud and insecure - like a lot of these people tend to be.

AnnaMarlowe Wed 16-Dec-15 09:50:07

I am in no way quiet or shy. I'm naturally very outgoing and chatty.

I would never judge someone for being quiet nor think that they are boring.

Nor do I think that 'everyone' should be as outgoing as me. My two best friends are extremely quiet with people they don't know.

These two people are just incredibly rude.

They were both putting you down in order to build themselves up.

It won't have worked, everyone will just think they are arses.

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