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To offer to work boxing day so I can avoid a family christmas?

(19 Posts)
foxessoxes Wed 16-Dec-15 00:05:24

Im 25 and just hate Christmas. I really do.

I dont get on too well with my family, especially my brother. We cant be in the same room as each other without there being an argument. Im completely different to them- i can rarely join in with dinner conversations, dont watch the same TV and not interested in the same things. Plus, my mother seems to think its acceptable to leave my grandmother alone in a nursing home without nobody else to visit. Yes, she has dementia. Yes, it will be disturbing to her to bring her to our house. But to not even visit her? I think thats just shit if im honest and has left a sour taste in my mouth

Not to mention im working Christmas Eve. i work in retail and naturally this is our busiest time of year. Im working a minimum of 60, more like 70 hours a week at the moment (doesnt help we are v short staffed!) and cant be arsed with a 150 mile journey to my parents after work. I just want to go home, get into my pyjamas watch shit christmas movies and drink copious amounts of wine and eat copious amounts of chinese food.

My boss asked me today if I would mind working Boxing Day- I said yes- a) to avoid a family Christmas and b) because she has small children and im childless.

I phoned my Mum this evening and apparantly im being "very selfish". Ive assured them I will send them their gifts for the day, and will come and visit for an overnight in the New Year but this isnt good enough apparantly.

AIBU? Im just so fucking exhausted right now and I dont need to live through my own episode of Eastenders to make it even worse.

ephemeralfairy Wed 16-Dec-15 00:13:19

YANBU. I am doing EXACTLY the same as you OP, for similar reasons. It has not gone down well. But I am contracted to work whatever hours they need me over xmas/new year.

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Wed 16-Dec-15 00:17:30

I don't think you should feel you have to work Boxing Day because of reason b) - because you're childless but otherwise think you should do what you want to. You do sound exhausted and just not in the right frame of mind to deal with your family.

Not quite the same but I always offer to work the days in between Xmas and New Year - as I've had enough of the whole family thing by then too. Gives me an excuse to get back to my flat and scores brownie points with my boss in one fell swoop.

ilovesooty Wed 16-Dec-15 00:18:54

Don't blame you. You're not selfish at all.

trashcanjunkie Wed 16-Dec-15 00:23:14

Ooh, no... Fuck them all off and have a day of luxury to yourself. A huge round trip to spend time with ungrateful wankers is the last thing you need.

Blu Wed 16-Dec-15 00:29:43

Driving 150 miles after a long and busy day sounds ker-nackering, especially for something you are not looking forward to or will find relaxing.

Tell your Mum you are not selfish, you have no choice because (stretched truth) you will lose your job if you do not cover Boxing Day.

Enjoy a proper rest and chill out.

Will you be able to visit your Nan at another time?

tillytown Wed 16-Dec-15 00:35:13

You can get Chinese food on Christmas? I never knew this!
And you're not selfish, enjoy your day of peace and relaxation.

foxessoxes Wed 16-Dec-15 00:37:15

Thank you everyone. Really. I thought I was being a bit of a noob for a minute.

And tilly- I wish! Marks and spencers microwave sweet and sour chicken it is for me fgrin

Purplestarssparkle Wed 16-Dec-15 00:41:28

dh and myself his away too for similar reasons we order a massive Chinese takeaway on Xmas eve split it and have it on Xmas eve and Xmas day catch up on TV and drink till we are merry no family visits where we are made to feel like we are the sucm of the earth its fab enjoy op

MummySparkle Wed 16-Dec-15 00:41:36

Do whatever makes you happy! i hate that now, because everyone wants to see the DCs we have to do the rounds of all of the relatives. We decided a few years ago that Christmas Day would be for us, and only us. So we stay at home, with the DCs and chill out without the pressures of visiting parents etc. If you want to have your Christmas chilling at home watching Christmas movies - do it! Make the most of it whilst you still canwink

azimazi Wed 16-Dec-15 00:42:27

yanbu. some people love xmas, some people don't. The people that don't shouldn't have to bust their gut fulfilling others' demanding expectations of them. enjoy your chilled day. smile

Purplestarssparkle Wed 16-Dec-15 00:42:33

his= hide

Dipankrispaneven Wed 16-Dec-15 00:48:53

Expecting someone to drive 150 miles after a 70 hour week is selfish. YA definitely NBU. Have a great day.

lorelei9 Wed 16-Dec-15 00:49:08


you will be pooped after Xmas Eve anyway. Xmas Day, for some, is such a silly kind of "externally mandated" date that you should spend with particular people.

you just chill on Xmas Day, 150 mile round trip sounds a mare anyway!

btw the dementia issue would upset me too.

WhereYouLeftIt Wed 16-Dec-15 01:37:13

YAmostlyNBU, but there is a little YAmaybeBU about your gran.

"Plus, my mother seems to think its acceptable to leave my grandmother alone in a nursing home without nobody else to visit. Yes, she has dementia. Yes, it will be disturbing to her to bring her to our house. But to not even visit her? I think thats just shit if im honest and has left a sour taste in my mouth"

Dementia varies from person to person. For some they regress to an earlier age and are happy enough. For some it is terrifying, living in a world they no longer understand. Some get pleasure from visits. Others get distressed. It is possible that visits distress your gran and leave her upset?

You say 'nobody else to visit'. Does this mean your mum visits her? Are you able to visit her (not ant Christmas, I mean anytime), or is she too far away?

Discopanda Wed 16-Dec-15 01:47:11

If your gran has no other visits or opportunities to leave the nursing home on the other 364 days of the year and your mum is just bringing her out for Christmas then that does sound like it will be distressing for her so YANBU.
RE you and your brother, my DM and uncle do not get on at all, I don't believe in families being forced on each other for the sake of tradition, DP's family do it to each other and it just causes arguments.

AnyFucker Wed 16-Dec-15 03:22:40

I have worked Xmas Day for this exact same reason.

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 16-Dec-15 03:41:26

tilly in North America Chinese food has become a big deal on Christmas because a lot of Jewish people eat there because it's open and they aren't doing Christmas.

OP, I have worked many a Christmas. For various reasons. It is really unselfish of you to let your boss have an extra day with his family. Lovely really. star

TowerRavenSeven Wed 16-Dec-15 03:44:34

Yanbu at all. People don't live their lives to please you do they? If you don't live it to please yourself no one else will. Do what you want, they will get over it.

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