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To ask for help? I'm not coping.

(9 Posts)
Waa Tue 15-Dec-15 21:54:55

Sorry, I know this isn't the right topic for this, and I may be flamed and told to get a grip, but I'm really not coping with my life at the moment.

I'd rather not give too many details, but family life is very stressful with no end in sight, just one of those things.

I have anxiety. For the last few months I've been getting physical manifestations, pins and needles in my arm, facial numbness, palpitations, not being able to breathe in properly. I go to the dr to get things checked, and inevitably, everything is fine and generally stops when something has been ruled out, to be replaced with something else.
Latest thing is very mild chest pain. I can feel it come on when I get stressed about something, anything. I've had an ECG which was fine. But I can't help worrying that something's been missed and I could keel over at any time (which sounds like anxiety talking?) I've also had blood tests to rule out other things.
I also have ASD, so get stressed at silly things like shopping, seeing people too often without having time alone to wind down. I'm not sleeping well at the moment, never do when stress builds up, can't switch off until late, wake up in the middle of the night to stew over things.
This week, having spent the whole of last week with other people, and Christmas shopping over the weekend, dealing with stuff at home, it's all built up to me feeling dreadful tonight, really horrible.
I'm compulsively eating, it's like part of my brain switches off and I have no control over what I eat and I hate it. I'm so fat and disgusting.

I've been to the dr before and said all of this, been a few times, but I can't get anywhere.
One dr offered group sessions of cbt, and I said I'd think about it, but I know that I will avoid going to group sessions of anything as it makes everything feel worse. Then I feel like one of life's moany people because there's probably a very simple solution to all this, but I can't figure it out, and as the months go on, I have more and more to have to cope with, and I don't know how much longer I can do it.
What do I do?

ThisisMrsNicolaHicklin Tue 15-Dec-15 22:04:07

. CBT is very good but I get where you're coming from with the group therapy. There's a course of booklets which take you through CBT, I've found them very useful.
They are called 'Living life to the full' by Chris Williams. You can access them online, you can buy them for about £15 or your local library should be able to supply them (mine didn't but I was put in touch with a CPN who was able to get them for me).

Geraniumred Tue 15-Dec-15 22:06:00

I really get where you are coming from. It is a dreadful time of year for easily stressed out people. Having no down time is horrible. Your symptoms sound exactly like anxiety and I'm sorry your dr isn't more helpful. There are a few things you can try - maybe the headspace app or some relaxing you tube things. There are herbal remedies you can get from boots for anxiety - I like Valerian tablets that I take at bedtime. Perhaps having healthy food around the house so if you are eating a lot then at least it will be good for you. I suffer from mild anxiety and actually don't really enjoy Christmas in terms of the 'too muchness' of everything.
I don't think there is an easy cure but fucussing on one aspect- maybe the sleep- and trying things until something works for you would help.

ThisisMrsNicolaHicklin Tue 15-Dec-15 22:06:18

And good luck. Anxiety is a bugger but there are ways out of it flowers

EllenJanethickerknickers Tue 15-Dec-15 22:08:51

Was, I've not really got any advice, but I do feel for you. Anxiety can be crippling and it often goes hand in hand with ASD. I would say that you could try the CBT. It may help and isn't usually a group thing, is it? More 1:1 with a counsellor/therapist.

The eating can be part of your ASD as well. Women with ASD are more likely to have eating disorders, I believe. Not that that helps you, but CBT mat be able to help you there as well. flowers

DanglyEarOrnaments Tue 15-Dec-15 22:10:15

I'm sorry you are not feeling well OP flowers

I think that you really need to let the doctor know why the group sessions are not ok for you and ask if there is any one to one help you could have as it is vital you get some support, hang in there and fight for what is yours.

Unfortunately I know that it is a case of 'who shouts the loudest' with the NHS and particularly with MH issues because of a close family member of mine, make sure you shout for yourself, you are worth it and you need it. The only solution (unfortunately) is to shout louder for your needs!

I wish I could offer more help than this OP, I know you need it but it's hard to get so fight for yourself and then I feel you will get what you need in the end.

EllenJanethickerknickers Tue 15-Dec-15 22:10:56

Maybe I'm wrong with CBT being 1:1, sorry, but it does sound like you'd be better off with some 1:1 therapy.

20applepies Tue 15-Dec-15 22:24:25

Living life to the full is a really helpful website as are the books by Dr Claire Weeks which you may be able to get from your local library. Dr Weeks also has CDs and a DVD which are brilliant. You can sometimes get her books on Amazon or eBay. Dr Weeks also has a website which I think is the only place you can get the CDs and DVD, she died many years ago but her work has helped thousands of people experiencing difficulties of emotional wellbeing.

Waa Tue 15-Dec-15 23:04:33

Thank you. I've had a bath and calmed down.
I'll reread this in the morning and write a list of all the suggestions.
I keep thinking I'm ok, then it creeps up on me. I've got to a point where I prefer to spend most of my time alone, which I enjoy but probably isn't healthy.

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