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To expect a thanks?

(11 Posts)
Terrihat Tue 15-Dec-15 20:20:45

Dh and I took his dc's for dinner last night to celebrate his ds birthday, he was 15. His dd is 12.
Neither of them said they enjoyed the meal or said thank you or any other appreciative comment.
Backstory, we all get on well, I am not working at the moment, on mat leave, I paid for the meal (obviously my money is dh's and vice versa, but I used money I had personally been saving to treat everybody) so I felt a tiny bit hurt that neither of them seemed to want to say thank you. Is this normal for children of this age or am I right to feel a bit put out..?

ssd Tue 15-Dec-15 20:23:00

well its maybe normal but very mean of them

Fratelli Tue 15-Dec-15 20:29:27

It's really rude of them! They should know basic manners and your dh should have said something imo.

Terrihat Tue 15-Dec-15 20:32:08

He said they said thanks to him later on, but I know if I am ever treated to dinner I would say thanks to both people (if it was a couple that had invited me for example)
It wasn't even just the no thank you, they just didn't seem overly happy to be out and I felt like it was a bit of a waste of money. They would have probably been just as happy with a McDonald's lol

GracefulSwanPaddlingLegs Tue 15-Dec-15 22:29:40

Did they actually know you paid for the meal? You say they didn't say thank you or appreciate the meal but then say they said thanks to your DH. My kids are younger but frankly it's not a dinner party, it's their dads responsibility to pay.

Champagneformyrealfriends Tue 15-Dec-15 23:13:26

Very rude. We were brought up to thanks my mum and dad for meals either that they'd cooked or taken us out for. YANBU.

cosytoaster Tue 15-Dec-15 23:23:41

My teens always say thanks on the rare occasions I take them out for a meal, but tbh I don't think they aren't that bothered about eating out - they would actually be just as happy with a McDonald's.

cosytoaster Tue 15-Dec-15 23:24:21

Sorry - meant to say YANBU

Mmmmcake123 Tue 15-Dec-15 23:33:13

I think it's rude but often you need a parent to say, 'aren't you going to say thanks?'. I would be sceptical about them thanking later, he possibly just said that to make you feel better as he didn't think to prompt them.

BackforGood Tue 15-Dec-15 23:38:03

Hmm - bit on the fence.
Manners are lovely, but I do agree with GracefulSwan in that, if adults decide the family are eating out, then obviously they will be paying for the meal - it's not really up to the teens, nor a 'treat' in the same way as it is for an adult who would otherwise be cooking. They don't really see it as a "gift" in the same way that I, as an adult would.

Terrihat Wed 16-Dec-15 00:05:44

Lesson learnt then- next time me and Dh will go out and they can stay in with a chippy!

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