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Are school out of order or am IBU?

(117 Posts)
ontheedgeofnewdawn Tue 15-Dec-15 19:14:49

School are having a non uniform day tomorrow to raise funds for children in the borough in poverty to have Christmas gifts. Great cause.

However the year head has said today than any child who comes in their own clothes but doesn't bring a donation will spend the day in isolation.

So if you are too poor to afford the donation you have to come in uniform so everybody knows your too poor, give money you cannot afford so your kids aren't embarrassed (some people have multiple children in school) or spend the day in isolation because you are too poor to pay the donation to another child in poverty?

I can pay the donation personally but I am feeling rather angry about it.

ontheedgeofnewdawn Tue 15-Dec-15 19:17:12


LindyHemming Tue 15-Dec-15 19:19:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pringlesandwine Tue 15-Dec-15 19:19:59

You are definitely not being unreasonable.

cariadlet Tue 15-Dec-15 19:22:44

That's terrible. When we have charity non-uniform days I have a pot for children to put their donations in. I wouldn't dream of checking who has or hasn't donated.

SevenSeconds Tue 15-Dec-15 19:23:32

Is there a set level of donation? Or can you bring in anything, even 5p or similar?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 15-Dec-15 19:24:31

The school is bang out of line. They're not actually allowed to penalise children for their parents hard ship. Which is what they're planning on doing. How much is the donation. Even if its 20p, That could still be the difference to wether or not a loaf of bread is put on the table. The school could find a lot of children are absent tomorrow, as tgey know tgey haven't got the donation and they don't want their child singled out as a result. Which incidentally exclusion is also against ofsted policies.
These teachers HT really don't live in the real world.

DeltaZeta Tue 15-Dec-15 19:24:49

No that's terrible. I would send a strongly worded letter to the Head.

ontheedgeofnewdawn Tue 15-Dec-15 19:25:19

No its a set donation. Not a massive amount. Only a couple of quid but still...

SirChenjin Tue 15-Dec-15 19:25:25

Bloody hell - are they allowed to do that?? shock

HairySubject Tue 15-Dec-15 19:25:42

That's totally unreasonable of the school. What if people can't afford it. Surely that goes against all of their inclusion policies.

Osolea Tue 15-Dec-15 19:26:03

This teacher is very much in the wrong.

I'm strongly against any type of charity fundraising that targets school children and effectively blackmails families into participating, however worthy the cause, but this seems so extreme that it would be worth double checking the facts.

Is this a secondary school? Could there have been a misunderstanding somewhere along the line? I'd check, and if what you say is accurate, then follow the complaints procedure.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 15-Dec-15 19:26:06

Me, too Delta

Sirzy Tue 15-Dec-15 19:26:06

There was uproar when a school locally said the same for children in need. When the media picked it up they soon back tracked! They were insisting on a £2 donation per child too!

aprilanne Tue 15-Dec-15 19:26:20

you are not being un .our local primary used to do this all the time bring money for this and that .the one that got me most was you had to bring something for xmas party say cake /biscuit .if you did,nt the child could,nt have anything of the party table .i complained that this was discrimination against some poor kids they said no thats how it was end of story ..while it was no bother to me to buy cake i was so angry i reported them to my local authority and sent the school a copy of said letter .well after a while i gets a letter promising this will not happen again .you are right to be angry

mcdog Tue 15-Dec-15 19:29:00

That is bloody shocking sad

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 15-Dec-15 19:37:27

Only a couple of quid. There's no only when it comes to a families finances. Yes it might not be a lot but it most certainly ain't a little either especially for those families on the bones of their arses

OhYeahMama Tue 15-Dec-15 19:38:27

Raising money for children in poverty while shaming those at the school in poverty? angry shock

Verbena37 Tue 15-Dec-15 19:39:22

That is totally excluding some families and isn't allowed.
A donation is voluntary and yes, they could and have said the kids can't come in their own clothes without paying but actually, that's then excluding the child.

Narp Tue 15-Dec-15 19:40:24

Nooooo. That's poor behaviour

WickedWax Tue 15-Dec-15 19:41:12

Pretty sure the school aren't allowed to do this.

Iggi999 Tue 15-Dec-15 19:41:50

Idle threat?
"Here Miss, what happens if I come in in my own clothes and don't give a donation?"
"Well then you'll spend the day in isolation young Boris", etc.

BertrandRussell Tue 15-Dec-15 19:41:56

Absolutely unacceptable. Complain. Loudly.

hefzi Tue 15-Dec-15 19:42:47

Surely that's not allowed shock? A couple of quid can be a huge deal, and imagine if families have more than one child at the school? This is a really exclusionary practice - YANBU at all!

ontheedgeofnewdawn Tue 15-Dec-15 19:43:11

I know Iliveinalighthouse.
We have been that family in the past and are not far from it now.
I have asked the kids to tell me word for word and made it clear that I will be reporting to school and they are insisting that I what was said.

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